PIED or performance anxiety? Or both.. ?

Hey James,

you really have to stop thinking in time-periods here. Nofap isn't 90 day challenge.
People on here just use the 90 days because the majority have the best results within this timeframe.

Everyone needs to do it as long as they have to, some need almost two years to fully recover.
I am never going back to porn and i am also trying to get masturbation to 0.
Because it will reward my body with an O without me being with a wamen.
Getting me to an O is a wamen's Job. Not mine.
That is the mindset i am trying to cement right now. Pretty difficult after around 18 years of PMO.

It is getting better every day mate.
Do you want to sleep with a girl or do you want to jack off? Some of us don't have the choice, it is either or...

 

If she doesn't stick with you just because you can't have penetrative sex with her at the moment, even though you are doing everything you can to improve this situation, she isn't really that amazing to be honest.

I am currently in my first flatline and have no desire whatsoever for sex. It is good, my brain is starting to rewire. I love it. And it will pass as well. And even if i would find a girl right now, i would just cuddle, kiss and go down on her. Work on your sexual confidence and your repertoire outside of the penis in vagina.

Give her the most beautiful time you can.
I am going to send you some suggestions on what you can do as a PM because it is very sexual and i dont want to offend anyone on here.

 

Hello sir, and congratulations for opening up.

I would say both. PIED + perfomance anxienty. I believe they are connected. We see the porn actors, with their usually bigger than average work tool, they never fail, always up an about, keep going for as long as they wish and always make their partners come on command. We tend to forget that there is acting, edition, lights, and problably enhancing drugs behind the cameras, and to forget as well that they are probably at that job because they are better than average on this as well (it would be like comparing ourselves to professional athletes, somehow).

The reason why many of us have performance anxiety is therefore somewhat caused as well by porn, by the exxagerated expectations it creates. You seem to have no problem to have an erection on porn or even without it, when by yourself. But when you are with this girl you like, you feel the pressure to please her, to reach certain standards, and that is what is getting in the way. I do not have a solution, as you can see, I am looking for one too, but I will do this leap of faith and trust the nofap system this time, and I suggest you do to, not focusing so much on the calendar, but on the effects on your mind and brain. I can say from personal experience that weed is not the definite answer. It helps in the beginning, but it could eventually become another anxiety element, causing overthinking, paranoia and even more desentization. One good strategie to overcome, at least partially, the performance anxiety (it usually works for me) is to give your girl a really good time in the foreplay, taking your time to make her relax and climax. Take your time, give her a massage, kiss her all over (and over and over.. you get the ideia). You are not just your penis, lesbian couples do well without a penis, if you know what I mean. After she gets there, most of the supermacho burden you are feeling about performance will likely disappear, you will feel that you already gave her a pleasant experience, you will somehow feel validated and know that even if you don't get a hard rock erection, she is unlikely to complain or even notice because she is already taken good care.

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

 

What's PM??

 

Personal Message/Private Message