PIED? And really bad Depression

Hey guys so in this text I try to explain my story. It could get a little long but I hope some of you will read it and maybe can help me.

Until 2 month ago I was a complete normal 18 year old man. I got my morning woods, spontanious erections, urges, jerked it of to porn once in a while and so on. So that all just stopped 2 month ago out of NOTHING.

At that moment I was a little curious but not worried at all. But about 6 Weeks ago, I met a really beautiful girl which now is my girlfriend. I really love her. So after being together for 2 weeks we wanted to have sex but I couldn't get hard enough to penetrate. That was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Next morning I told her that it's not because I didn't find her attractive but I couldn't know what's the real reason was. She was really understandable and sayd that sex doesn't matter to her that much.
After she left I Googled like 24/7 everything that could be the reason. So I read the book "my brain on porn" and everything else about this topic.
I thought it could be PIED although I'm not quite sure because since those 2 Month I didn't watch porn because i had no urges to and now I don't want to try it because I am worried that it would throw me back so hard, anyways I did find some symptoms of PIED like the shifting porn use (I endet up with bukakke and was really disgusted by myself) . But I also thing that it could be performance anxiety or just because I don't have any urges so I didn't get erections.
Since then there was no day without me feeling depressed, laying down in my bed crying the whole day. Thinking about what the reason could be and if it is PIED if I EVER can recover from that or if it would be like that forever.

Then there is also my social anxiety wich I got since I can remember. I never had much friends, I never went to party's or even festivals. Now my Girlfriend is telling me so many exciting stories she experienced with her friends and on festivals. I could cry everytime because I hate my life for being like it is. I am so jealous when she talks about those adventures and I know that I just can't experience something like that. Since I'm 13 I just live for my family.. I hate my life but don't want to hurt my family and now also my Girlfriend.
But there is no day without me worrying what if she isn't that okay with not having sex and I think I could prevent me from suicide if she really breaks up with me, although I could understand her because for me sex is a important thing in an relationship (I know it's just "the Cherry on the top" but even that's important for me). And I don't want to tell her that because I don't want her to be with me just because she don't wants me to kill myself...

I hope I didn't forget anything, you can ask any questions and I really would appreciate it if anyone could help me.