Physical Effects of PA on Partner

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by TryingToHeal, Dec 20, 2017.

  1. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Solidarity ladies! Similar situation here also. I too break out in hives randomly, feel nauseous, can't sleep, my periods are totally wonky now, and I am completely unorganized. I used to run a 45 family organic food club, volunteer on two other boards, volunteer with homeless animals, have a huge circle of friends and planned and hosted social outings and parties regularly.
    Now, my house is a mess, I have quit running and being a part of my foodclub, quit my volunteer commitments, stopped socializing with most friends, and feel completely drained all the time.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
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  2. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Re: palpitations, try a magnesium supplement. I am a former critical care nurse who had serious palps at age 35-cardiologist recommened meds. I researched magnesium and he scoffed at it but it fixed my issue and there is evidence it helps. Most people are deficient, and it helps many bodily processes as well as helps with sleeplesness and anxiety. :)
     
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  3. Johns80

    Johns80 Fapstronaut

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    I recently found out that one of my eardrums imploded....from grinding my teeth at night. This started immediately after D-day. Also blew out a disc in my back. This was a result of pushing workouts too far too fast, a result of not feeling attractive enough. There are VERY real physical implications for a SO dealing with a PA.
     
  4. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    I've been on magnesium for a few years. The palpitations are new, and directly related to anxiety when it flares up.
     
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  5. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    Well, now I can add high blood pressure to that. Just got back from the dr and for the first time ever, I now have high blood pressure. I know the stress of all this has greatly contributed. Ugh.
     
  6. ..Anna..

    ..Anna.. Fapstronaut

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    I had dizzy head for months, had to switch on tranqi pills for it to stop. But it would have been much worse if I wouldn't separate from him. Other health issues I had before meeting him.
     
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  7. starrieeyes

    starrieeyes Fapstronaut

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    same. except, i'm not a wife or a mom... but i'm the sole earner... i take care of everything.
     
  8. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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    Stress, trauma, and its effects on the body can't be overestimated. I know this personally and also professionally, as I'm a therapeutic bodyworker and do things such as Trauma Touch Therapy to help people heal the trauma stored in their bodies.

    Yes! I was having heart flutters almost daily (new to me), throughout the day. I decreased my caffeine intake, and they're pretty much gone now, thankfully.
     
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  9. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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    I could have written this, too. I was recently diagnosed with high triglycerides. I was SHOCKED as I'm quite active and fit, not overweight, and I eat a better than average diet for sure. I do have a family history, however, I've never been diagnosed with high TG's before. Interesting timing after the intense stress this year. I've had various infections when I usually have a strong immune system. I've also had unusual muscle spasms, one episode waking me up, resulting in pulling 2 ribs out of alignment and lots of pain. I couldn't think of anything I'd done physically to cause it. I do know when something is "off" with my bf, especially when I sleep next to him. I've felt it in my body, and I've even had revealing dreams that were later confirmed to be true.
     
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  10. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    @Torn - I've had this happen many times over the past year. Ribs out = severe pain. OW! Mine is on my left side under shoulder blade. I think that correlates with our heart/emotions? Chiropractic can help me, and also opening my ribcage to expand and breathe. I really need one of those tube-shaped yoga bolsters.

    @TryingToHeal - Has this been consistent? Or at one doc appt? I have had steady, good blood pressure my entire life. Then, this past month, it was high at my primary doc check-up and really high (scared me!) when I just went to the ER for heart palpitations. It's anxiety/PTSD-related for me (I'm pretty sure)? It was fine when I went to the GYN doc. I should probably get it checked more often (when not having BIG anxiety).

    The one thing that has worked for me is more mindfulness, yoga-breathing, guided meditations, etc. We need to change our neural pathways to stop the trauma reactions before they get out of control. Just like our guys need to change their neural pathways if they want to recover.

    I wish there was a magic wand, but there isn't. I just have to accept that I need to work on my recovery and it looks very different than my husband's recovery.

    Take care of yourselves, ladies, when you can. I know it's hard. Do your best.
     
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  11. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    Only at the one doc appointment. I know it is stress. I've never had high BP before at all. Thank you for the tips! I tried to do yoga but all the cleavage and yoga pants were killing me at the time. And yes, you are right about the magic wand.
     
  12. FearMyDiscipline

    FearMyDiscipline Fapstronaut

    Man, I've got to get rid of this before I get married (age 21 and abstinent except for stupid pmo).
    Crazy to read this stuff. A bit after my sibling went through some major, major, major issues a while back (I don't care to elaborate), my mom's health took a hard hit. She's fragile to begin with, but random and severe allergies, intense cold sweats at night, itching till' bleeding, and later every time she got the cold/flu she ended up with straight up pneumonia and ended up having to go to the hospital once.

    The stress is still real, though not as bad. What helped her, I think, was talking/discussing out loud with me and accepting the fact that we can't play God, we just pray to God. I should add focusing on one specific goal at a time (we made lists at the end of every conversation).

    But don't take my word for anything, I'm still climbing out of this mess. I am always vigilant of my mom's health, and I pray to God that I am way, way done with this before marriage. Whatever the answer is, please take care of yourselves - mom's mean a whole lot. I'd live and die for mine.
     
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  13. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    You can do yoga at home, too. There are on-line subscriptions. When I go to class, I seem to find "cool people" classes instead of the "Barbie Does Yoga" classes. There is something powerful in groups of grounded, like-minded people who are there for self-care/self-love while sending out love to others and the world. It's powerful. These are the people who don't buy sexy yoga outfits.

    I've been working a bit with self-compassion. On the link below, there are guided meditations (most are a short 15-20 minute gift to ourselves). It goes a long way. There are good links under the resources section too. http://self-compassion.org

    If we can learn to self-calm and be healthier in the face of tremendous emotional pain and distress (that can be part of the experience of a partner/spouse of a sex addict), then think of how these skills and coping mechanisms can help us face other unknown challenges in our future lives. This thought just empowered me a bit. :)
     
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  14. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    Thank you. I even have some yoga DVDs but same thing, cleavage and yoga pants. Do you know of any on-line that aren't like this? Or I'd like to have a DVD that isn't. My husband expressed some interest in doing it with me, but yeah.. again, the visual. Ugh.
    Thank you for the link about self-compassion, I'm going to check it out.
     
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  15. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    There is a very interesting book about how stress affects the body called "When The Body Says No" by Gabor Mate. Great book!
     
  16. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    @TryingToHeal - How about a male yoga teacher? Rodney Yee is one of them. He has some on-line videos. Maybe a DVD? Perhaps Google him and see if he resonates?
     
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  17. Johns80

    Johns80 Fapstronaut

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    Try the Yoga With Tim YouTube channel. Good stuff, no cleavage. Just a bearded hippy. :)
     
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  18. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    I just read through everyone's posts. I am so sorry you wonderful women are experiencing all this.
    So my health has been sucky too. It wasn't great to start with. I have autoimmune diseases (hashimotos/psoriasis). I suffer high cholesterol/triglycerides/roseaca/muscle aches/insomnia/migraines. I had a terrible pregnancy with lots of health complications 6 years ago (high blood pressure, oedema, pregnancy hives, vomiting every day, pre-eclampsia and then premmie very sick bub) I've struggled massively to lose the weight I put on while pregnant and post-partum (I even took diet pills last year and ate between 500-800 calories a day for 3 months and only lost 6kgs in the 3 months).
    My thyroid is massively underactive, I'm on the highest dose of Thyroxine and my TSH was 14 just before dday (It's supposed to be under 2). I was supposed to get bloods done again just after D day but I still haven't been back. I'm a vegetarian and Gluten intolerant but I tested positive for Celiac antibodies/gene test about 6 months ago. I have since had 2 biopsies (one after DDay) both have come back 'almost positive'. I apparently have some damage to my villi but not enough for diagnosis. I have agreed to one more biopsy because whilst testing I have to eat Gluten every day which plays havoc with my digestive system/joints/sleep.
    Since D day I have not slept without the aid of sleeping tablets. I barely ate for the first month and vomited what I did eat. I have had an almost constant headache. I'm exhausted every single day. I can't seem to organise myself. My house is messier than usual. I have been avoiding people which means my son has barely played with other kids and we are nearly halfway through the summer holidays (I have done lots of things with him but he has spent way to much time on his kindle). The last few weeks I have been grouchy and short with my husband and son.
    My skin is terrible and I've scratched my feet/arms raw.
    I hate this version of myself. I'm going to post more in my diary later but I'm struggling more now to cope than I was 2 months ago.
    This sucks (biggest understatement ever).
     
  19. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    Not sure if you have tried this but taking the strongest omega 3 available (I got a script) helped bring my trigs down. You can of course eat lots of high omega 3 foods (oily fish etc) but I'm veggie and found it hard through diet alone. I have high trigs and cholesterol and diet could not bring them down. I have bad genes for cholestoral and my autoimmune disease can contribute. Sorry you have to go through this xx
     
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  20. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    That's interesting, going to look into it, thank you!

    I appreciate the tip, I will look into him, thanks so much.

    Great! This might work as well. Thank you.

    I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It is so difficult.

    I hope for this new year, all us SOs (and the PAs of course) can find healing, physical and emotional. Hugs to all of you.
     
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