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phone sex lines stopiing it... help please? (i'm getting better)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by theforce, Apr 29, 2018.

  1. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    Hello e Beautiful nofap!
    Start with positive, over 90 days free NO PORN and no desire to come back = a really awesome big win.

    next I am trying to conquer/transform not thinking about hooking up or occasionally calling phone line.
    its 'like my brain is still (possibly?) adjusting to break from constant dopamine hit or connection?
    I'd love any advice of what HAS worked.
    Thank you!
     
  2. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    For me, its go all in (go big) or go home. If I'm not completely all in with this battle, I may as well go home and stop fighting completely. If there are any obstacles in my way, they are only hindering my recovery. Trust me, I get how enticing those temptations are, but you have to keep your eye on the prize, YOUR RECOVERY. There is NOTHING ANYWHERE that could make you relapse that is more important that your recovery. As the bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18, flee from sexual immorality and Ephesians 5:3 says "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality." To completely rid ourselves of any and all temptations, including any and everything that could possibly lead to a temptation, is easily the best way to recover from this addiction. Anything less than that is to basically set ourselves up for failure in my opinion.

    The best tools I use with my recovery are:

    - Go to weekly SA meetings. To find one near you, go to https://www.sa.org/meetings/ and select the type of meeting you want. I ALWAYS suggest the face-to-face meetings whenever possible because they easily have the biggest impact on us.

    - Do an internet search for CSAT office in your area (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)

    - Find an accountability partner. Look for one you can meet with in person, if at all possible. And please make sure it is someone of your own gender. If you need to, just look on this forum until you find someone you can talk to face to face with. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/accountability-partners.7/

    - Find a sponsor for yourself. Again, make it someone who is your gender. I’m sorry to be so harsh, but I think it is just plain stupid to seek out a sponsor or accountability partner of the opposite sex, the sex you’re attracted to.

    - Look for help online in the form of literature. There are sexual addiction recovery books, workbooks, self-help books, and other things to help.

    - Start a journal about your recovery. Just throw in your daily thoughts, whatever they may be, about how you’re doing in your recovery. You can write about other things in your life as well if you’d like, but be sure to write regularly about how your recovery is progressing. If you relapse, be honest about it and just say you messed up and you reset your clock to zero days now and you have to start again. Just write though. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php#reboot-logs.8

    - Start your own sobriety streak counter on NOFAP. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?pages/pmo-counter/

    These are some things I do to help ensure I stay sexually sober. There are a lot of people who hold onto temptations because its hard to let go. And I get it, I’ve had this addiction for about 30 years now, and there are days when the temptation is so enticing and I feel like a relapse would be worth it just to indulge this addiction this one time. But deep down, I know better. If you TRULY want to recover, you will get completely rid of anything in your life that could possibly lead you to relapse, no matter how much it may mean to you.
     
    Deleted Account and theforce like this.
  3. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    First off, thank you for sharing, I truly appreciate it! Am doing the journal have made HUGE progress no longer do porn and that desire is gone 90+ days (completed almost a month ago). Is there anything you found helpful at those meetings that had to do with not craving hooking up? Or what was helpful? I wlll document some of this in my journal , I encourage my AP to do the same :)
     
  4. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    p.s. I also shared this message yesterday, "99% is a bitch, 100% is a breeze" (i use example no alcoholic ever got better with "just one more drink".
     
    Joe1023 likes this.
  5. SanSolo

    SanSolo Fapstronaut

    164
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    An aside about phone sex in general. Those hot ladies you see in the ads inciting you to call, they're not the ones you're going to talk with. My local news media did a story on this way back when. One of those ladies really working the phone was a 300 lb. lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But not the fantasy you thought you were paying for, eh?
     
    btwiseman and theforce like this.
  6. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    Unfortunately, hooking up was never something I truly struggled with. My addiction was just online porn. I wasn't into chat rooms, prostitutes, affairs, flings, or anything in person really. It was just free online porn that was my addiction.

    And another thing about porn addiction is that it can technically be indulged without doing anything other than thinking. Every other addiction (at least that I can think of) requires some type of action. Gamblers have to go to a casino and put money in and pull the lever or push the button, smokers have to light up and smoke, shooters have to insert the needle and inject, etc. The only thing I can think of that kind of fits this category in a way is people addicted to food because everyone has to eat obviously, but where do they draw the line? So other than that, this addiction is different than all others because we could be locked away in a dungeon, shackled to a wall, blindfolded and gagged with absolutely no light at all and no one around for miles, and a porn addiction can still be indulged. So for the people trying to overcome porn addiction, at least in my opinion, GREAT strength is required and help is needed.
     
  7. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    thanks for sharing. My advice is..success leaves clues, find peopel who HAVE done it. I know I can tlel you thaT I have beat the online porn thing, it isn't there anymore since doing 90 day nofap reset..it truly does work. I leave clues in my journal but find what works for you :)
    This morning I am remmbering a time whenI was yougner when I dind't do these things, a whoel year I never did it...thinkign maybe lookat my life back then what I WAS doing and see cclues for myself as if my yougner self giving me advice.
     
  8. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    Sounds like some pretty good advice. I hope you find the way to success, sir.
     
  9. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    I have a wonderful AP but am open to more if you want as well. I foudn your story and expereinces helpful.
    "The most important thing? To completely rid ourselves of any and all temptations, including any and everything that could possibly lead to a temptation, is easily the best way to recover from this addiction. Anything less than that is to basically set ourselves up for failure in my opinion." So far so good, keep repeating 99% is a bitch, 100% is a breeze...while pursuing other things also.
     
  10. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    do you have any advice on "rationalize" as I was doing so good on this then the weekend came and my brain was not doing the "To completely rid ourselves of any and all temptations, including any and everything that could possibly lead to a temptation, is easily the best way to recover from this addiction."

    I noticed one possibility of what was working was music and when not having that or waking up on weekend refocusing my eneryg on creative projects...no music is when wanted to act out, which isn't the result I'm after.
     
  11. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    My suggestion would be to kind of step outside of yourself to look at your life, your routine, your habits, and your temptations. So anything that could even possibly create the slightest temptation for you is something you need to get completely rid of! Even if its music you love listening to, music you've listened to your whole life, you still need to drop it like a hot potato! And trust me when I say that I know how much it sucks giving up things you've been so used to doing, but it WILL be worth it, I promise you that.
     
  12. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    thank you for that, why give up music you love listening to though (I only have music with uplifitng lyrics btw and removed songs awhile ago that had to do anythign with sex"
     
  13. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    I'm just saying if there was a song or type of music that you had been listening to for a long time that had some sort of trigger in it that made you think about relapsing, that would be something you'd need to get rid of. So if it was music, a certain movie or tv show, a restaurant or other establishment you visit frequently, or whatever the case may be, that's a hindrance that you need to be free from.
     
  14. theforce

    theforce Fapstronaut

    thank you...I will go over my music and double check.
     
    Joe1023 likes this.

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