Performance anxiety with girlfriend

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Toad1999, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. InfinitePossibilities

    InfinitePossibilities Fapstronaut

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    I was unable to o from my SO for 6 years. After 60 days hardmode things changed. If ED occurs just before penetration but not while foreplay, i'd say pmo is causing it. I'd keep on giving her oral and o only from her. Eventually you will be ready for penetration. This can take up to one year.
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    You really have to give it at least 90 days before you can even start to say it's not working. I know you are anxious to see results . Many addicts take the attitude well if I'm making this sacrifice of no pmo I better see a change or I'm going back! You have to be patient with yourself. And I highly recommend you do tell your partner not keep it from her as others suggested so she can help. If she knows you will be less anxious. When you are dealing with this solo and essentially hiding it from her its understandable you are so anxious. Also if she finds out later and you did not tell her you will have lost her trust and that could kill the relationship. Part of building self confidence is owning who you are good and bad and dating if others don't like you it's their loss. Finally I suspect you have anxiety that has nothing to do with pmo but you were medicating it with porn. Now that you have stopped back comes the anxiety.
     
  3. Papasmurf22

    Papasmurf22 Fapstronaut

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    Yea I see what you're saying and I've more so accepted the fact that it's gona take a while to see major results because I do get results but their really really subtle and their not big enough to take over the damage I've done to myself yet.. I've been an addict for about 5 years . But I read stories of guys seeing results within a month or so and I'm wondering why mines haven't come yet.. and this is not my first attempt at nofap, I've tried it couple times before and I have felt those superpowers before but they don't last and they usually go away as soon as they come..but this is probably my longest attempt and still nothing.. but I'll wait it out like you said. And my gf she does know she's known for awhile and she's been supportive for the most part so I'm good there.
     
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  4. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Did you ever see a commercial for a drug and at the end it says individual results may vary? I think NoFap should say that. If you are seeing some results keep at it! You will get there.
     
  5. Papasmurf22

    Papasmurf22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brother.
     
  6. KillMyDarlings

    KillMyDarlings Fapstronaut

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    You can't put a time on it, as that creates more unnecessary pressure on you. It's hard when you have a SO, so why not try talking to her about it.

    Try being open sexually about what turns each of you on about one another, something that isn't specifically a sexual act or position, but about one another. Try to reframe yourself and how you view her as a person.

    Is it a lust? Is it love? Is it too early to tell?
     
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