People sending P in messages

We had an issue with this a long time ago. Funnily it was only his friends, mine would never do that. Those people got weeded out, we didn't need them in our lives.

 

Hmmm...that's weird. People don't send me stuff like that all the time, nor do people send my husband stuff like that all the time. As a matter of fact, neither one of us has ever has anyone send anything like that.

 

I should add, it wasn't all the time. But did happen from time to time. One of these people though wasn't someone I would ever call a friend, he just liked to cause trouble between people. He was not a nice person. I would have more of an issue if a girl was sending him these kinds of things. That seems off to me. But my thoughts still stand, those people would be weeded out.

 

It definitely seems more "benign" when coming from a guy. Coming from a girl would set the alarms off.

 

this is quite immoral of her
your husband should tell his friend about this........

 

I agree with all this here. Not right to do, and definitely not from another female. I'm sorry, that really sucks.

 

The other thing that I skipped over, he NEEDS to tell you when this happens. To me he is lying. How can he expect trust to be rebuilt if he is hiding things, even if he didn't PMO. I hope you two can work this out, and maybe get a little (or a lot) of distance between you and them.

 

So umm...

He's getting this on his phone and not telling you because you are the crazy one. That's rich.

I would see this as getting an invitation for an affair, a seduction (is the girl dancing the friend's gf? I was unclear about that). Anything less than him being totally offended is abnormal.

I would so straight up tell my wife about this and we would never hang out with her again. Not only does she not care about you, she doesn't care about him either. If she did, she wouldn't be interested in any behavior that would threaten his relationship. I hope he can see this.

I don't want to put motivations in other people's heads so I'll just say, if I were keeping that to myself, there would be a less than noble reason for doing so.

I used to be vulnerable to seduction. My self-esteem was so low that knowing some woman wanted me made me feel good. Now that would totally freak me out.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

BTW, freaking out, well, that's the normal thing to do in this situation. I mean, composure is always a good thing but everyone has their limits and this is a big deal.

-Quinn

 

Yeah my husband used to game, and one of the guys in his chat group was obsessed with anime porn, and would send porn/p-subs to the group. When my husband came out about his addiction and said that they couldn't send that stuff in the group anymore, they made a new group and never talked to him again.

Weed out toxic people.

Also you being upset, is completely logical. Him not telling you, that is not cool.

 

I know someone who went through recovery from drugs. They had to dump nearly every friend in their lives because those "friends" didn't respect his recovery - were always offering and laughing his efforts off. That's not an easy thing to do. Just ask yourself what's really the most important thing to you?

 

Classy guys.