Pedophiles on NoFap?

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support' started by VexedCoffee, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. VexedCoffee

    VexedCoffee Fapstronaut

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    Not sure if this is the place to bring this up but I am curious what steps the staff is taking to prevent "preying"?

    You have the AP section where people (some of them underage) are encouraged to post their age and sexuality and share their contact details, this could be a trigger for some people into child porn (let's not pretend we don't have users like that here). Some of the fapstronauts are confused sexually, isolated, alone, depressed in short susceptible to predators (You have a section dedicated exclusively to loneliness)

    I know you can't stop stuff like this from happening entirely people can fake their age and stuff but it would be nice to have some rules/warnings in place. What I had in mind was
    1. Make NoFap forums 18+ or at least the AP section 18+ restricted.
    2. Have stickied posts warning users about other users who may have issues with child porn
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
  2. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    With the ap forums, I think it already says in the guidelines to not post your contact details until you have found an ap, and then disclose them in a personal message. Are these rules not enough?
    I definitely think there shouldn't be an age limit - I signed up before I was 18 and if I hadn't been allowed to I don't know where I would be now.
     
  3. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    Out of the thousands that are here, it's probably safe to say that at least one person is here to recover from their addiction to child porn. As wrong as we believe it to be, we need to respect this person's decision to come here and get help for it. Shaming is not advisable under any circumstances.

    I understand what you're saying, though. Some might come for the pure sake of preying on the vulnerable. As for staying vigilent, it really is as simple as withholding personal information. All we need to know about you is your username and nothing more, because you never truly know who is on the other side of the screen. I'm really not sure what else the staff can do to prevent this kind of behavior.

    Teenagers need intervention as quickly as possible, therefore you can't set an age limit.
     
  4. Owari

    Owari Fapstronaut

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    I'm a teenager and I'm pretty sure that at least some pedos exist. For me the key is to not give out personal information. Honestly though NoFap has helped a lot and if there was an age limit I'd have to wait at least 5 years to get the benefits this site has given me (unless I break it).
     
    Hiro 304 and Our Endless War like this.
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

    @VexedCoffee I think this thread is very naïve. You acknowledge that people can fake their age and then you suggest:- Make NoFap forums 18+ or at least the AP section 18+ restricted! What for - if people are going to lie about their age? :rolleyes:
    Your second idea is to warn users that some on this site may have issues with child porn. Well of course they will have, just like people here have issues with bestiality, rape, sado-masochism, voyeurism, exhibitionism and other paraphilias! :rolleyes:

    Furthermore, you mention paedophilia in the title to the thread, but do you even know what it is? You refer to "some people into child porn" and the word "predators". Are they necessarily synonymous with paedophilia. No, not at all! PLEASE NOTE:

    Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children. [Definition based on DSM-V and ICD-10]

    Notice it is a disorder of sexual attraction toward children that have not entered puberty (anyone aged 14+ is excluded from the definition of prepubescence). There is nothing in this definition that even suggests that paedophiles are of necessity consumers of child porn. Nor does it suggest they are predators per se. So, your premise for this thread is utterly flawed. Moreover, we should welcome everyone that has an addiction to masturbation and porn, including paedophiles! :mad:
     
  6. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Very true. There are literally hundreds of paraphilias and we all probbably have one. Assuming that somebody who is afflicted with paedophilia is a predator is somewhat short minded.
     
  7. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Well said @Rubidium. You seem to have a balanced view of many things, and your maturity is refreshing.

    It is, indeed, a lazy assumption that paedophile = predator. This is often not the case. I have another paraphilia. I do not understand the attraction paedophiles have, but I do not judge them simply based on what they happen to find attractive.
     
    Reuby likes this.
  8. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    @cenaclelove

    Thanks for sharing. It must've taken a lot of guts to tell a story like that. You've got my support, you'll receive no judgement from me. Congrats on being 4 years clean in that regard! Otherwise, you can PM me if you need anyone to talk to.

    Much love :)
     
    cenaclelove likes this.
  9. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your humble honesty, I can't judge you for this when I also have looked at vile, exploitative, awful porn. Heck, no sinful human being has the right to pour out judgement on you.

    It's fantastic that you have toned it down to 'normal' stuff, but I hope your now trying to quit altogether, with all of your might.
     
  10. Pedophilia is much more prevalent then many here suggest, up to 5% of all men.
     
  11. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Thanks for your contribution @cenaclelove. Agreed, yours is not a case of paedophilia. Rather, it is a case of hebephilia.

    Hebephilia is the strong and persistent adult sexual interest in pubescent (early adolescent) individuals, typically ages 11–14. It is characterized by a sexual preference for pubescent rather than adult partners. It differs from paedophilia, which is the primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.
     
  12. I applaud your strength in being forthcoming and honest! Kudos and long may you live. I feel so much better now that you've taken the pressure off of self-admittance whenever it comes to children --- I need to get off my chest the fact that I was perversely *hands over eyes and peeking through the gap between my fingers type of looking* into Lolita and at the same time I HATED the guy who made it, the character, the story and everything about it. I was really hard on myself when I was pre-pubic stage and transitioning into a teenager and I'd have girls crushing on me and I on them. When I was the one crushing... I would try so hard to force it into a platonic direction away from outright sexual thoughts and I'd beat myself up for it. If I was the one being crushed on... I'd entertain the girls for awhile but ultimately, I remember pushing them away, saying and behaving in the most rude, insulting and obnoxious manners without regard to how they'd feel. So, as I grew into my PMO habit, my suppressed lustful desires suddenly now had an imagery, sound and video quality attached to it and it was just unstoppable... I felt vile for having imagined these sweet girls in such filthy ways, I became more and more introverted and excluded from the other gender. And so the cycle continued and my brain developed this PORN alter ego that would trigger a filter that would just takeover and I would see the world thru this lens. Over the years I tried to keep as much distance from this part of myself and even recall yelling, punching and crying towards the mirror pretending it's my porn alter-ego and he'd stop if I just told him how much it hurt. The self-denial ended, I don't even know when but one day I felt like there was just him left and none of me. But!!! Times have changed since and I no longer am in such a grand old cesspool of loathing. I always thought that everyone in this world deserved a chance, even pedophiles - not to go out and practice their urges but to be helped, acknowledged and understood by a rapidly dispersing sense of unity in a society divided upon so many layers of which porn and PMO, is just one - a vicious one at that.
     
  13. I struggled with this kind of thing so much that at times, I hindered myself to have feelings of any kind towards girls in order NOT to be called a pedophile. I thought it just meant that you have unwholesome and lewd feelings for girls under the age of 18. Also, I thought I would finally feel grown up when 18 arrived, and then when 20 arrived and then when 21 arrived... and now I am 22. :D But this is the furthest I've come in actually trying to be my own friend and being positive in life, regardless of outside factors. Much thanks to NoFap and Fapstronauts such as yourselves - keep believing! Godspeed!
     
  14. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    @MoTWoL

    Yes. Every single person, regardless of sexual preferences, deserves a chance to be helped. Self-loathing, beating yourself up, repressing your feelings and denying them, only make the pain worse. Loving yourself is the "cure-all" to any personal issue you might have. You have my support, thanks for sharing your story. You have nothing but my respect, my friend.

    To you, and anyone who's reading this: if you are struggling with these kinds of feelings, but feel too uncomfortable sharing it here, privately message me. If you can't, at least know that you're not alone. This thread should be speaking that message to you!
     
    Azrael5, Jinx and (deleted member) like this.
  15. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    There is truth in this. It got me thinking - how do we love ourselves? I sought out a well known bible verse about love. Bear with me, this applies even if you aren't Christian;
    1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
    Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

    Wow!
    We should be patient and forgiving with ourselves when we make a mistake, and we can't let failure bring us down into being mean to ourselves. We shouldn't compare ourselves with others because it does not accomplish anything. We need to boldly face up against our problems and injustices - we cannot tolerate them. When we win a battle - such as completing a nofap goal, we need to pat ourselves on the back. And crucially, we can't give up, or lose faith or hope in ourselves.

    If we begin to love ourselves, we will spill over and begin loving others like this too.
     
  16. VexedCoffee

    VexedCoffee Fapstronaut

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    Anything to hinder them or at least make them think twice before signing up for an AP. I would be fine with a warning even or just don't reveal your age at all.
    Possession of hardcore porn is not illegal, child porn is. All paraphilias are not equal.
    I'm more worried about the the under 18 human paraphilias than say bestiality because there's no way for a user who's into bestiality to even know if the person across the screen is an attractive animal irl from reading his/her AP request.
    I don't know about pedophiles that aren't on this site but the ones who do come here have a very serious issue with masturbation (the very least) and most people need porn to masturbate, and I'm willing to bet that porn is not going to legal most of the time.
    Now does that make them predators in the sense they are actively looking out for their next victim, no but you are not making it any easier for them by dangling that temptation right in front of their faces.
    I agree.
    But we're not helping them with their recovery when we have minors running around the site.
     
  17. IGY

    IGY Guest

    You say about paedophiles that us NoFap, "I'm willing to bet that porn is not going to legal most of the time". In fact, gambling is a mugs game for losers and you have just lost your bet. The paedophiles I have met here were not in the habit of using illegal child porn. You are just brimming over with judgemental prejudice and it does you no credit @VexedCoffee.
     
  18. VexedCoffee

    VexedCoffee Fapstronaut

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    But people do reveal more than their usernames in the thread, most of the AP requests have their age on it.

    Would you let your underage child be baby sitted by a self confessed pedophile?
     
  19. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    Instead of answering this question, I'll ask you this:

    Does asking this question help or impair your understanding of people afflicted with pedophilia?
     
    Azrael5, Jinx, Reuby and 1 other person like this.
  20. CaptinCaveMan

    CaptinCaveMan Fapstronaut

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    I think this is a good subject to address for the website. Rules need to exist. We have them in all the sports we play and refers and umpires uphold those rules. The developers and mods do the same for this site; as well as the users to a degree. Though it's difficult when our society has made sex such a taboo conversation. I guess we need to make sure we are asking the right questions.

    How does this help or hurt NoFapp?
    What are the rules for conversations with a minor around pmo?
     

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