NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

passive vs active quitting pmo

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by joeshmo209, Feb 21, 2014.

  1. Feb 21, 2014 #1
    joeshmo209

    joeshmo209 Fapstronaut

    31
    10
    8
    This is kinda a strange idea, but for me there seems to be two states of mind when i'm quitting pmo. Active and Passive. I'll try to explain it...



    When i say passive quitting pmo, i mean quitting pmo, but not entirely mentally involved. For example, someone passively quitting pmo might have urges and ignore those urges by playing a video game, watching T.V. or purposelessly surfing the internet. Finding something to do to replace pmo is great, but activities that allow the brain to just be passive (like watching T.V.) are risky.
    A person that is passively quitting pmo may be more vulnerable to relapsing since he might not be fully dealing with those urges. Instead, he may just be trying to ignore them untill they go to the back of his mind only to resurface shortly after and often stronger.
    Sometimes I have this state of mind when quitting pmo, but I try to avoid this state of mind because i find that it eventually leads back to pmo, even if it's not right away. It's a way to deal with urges, but only in the short term.



    A person that is actively quitting pmo is doing so by mentally facing the urges and moving pass them completely instead of ignoring them and putting them in the back of his mind. This person would deal with urges by facing them and taking the painful steps to move pass them.
    Sometimes it is harder for a person who is actively quitting pmo to move pass the urges because it's like the brain knows that he will completely move pass the urges does not plan to to allow the same urges to resurface shortly after.
    The brain seems to give more resistance if it knows that the person is truly planning on quitting for good. The brain seems to want to keep things the way that they are and if it knows that the person truly plans of quitting it will resist more.


    I know this is a very abstract idea and kinda of weird one. Does anyone else have a similar experience when quitting pmo? Maybe someone that has a similar experience and elaborate this idea. I don't know if I articulated it well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2014
    joeshmo209, Feb 21, 2014
    joeshmo209, Feb 21, 2014
    #1
  2. Feb 21, 2014 #2
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    Hi mate, thats interesting and I kind of think theres a middle way. For instance I trained in shin shin toitso do Aikido (aikido with mind and body unified) as taught be Koichi Tohei and one of the central principles I was taught was that of dynamic relaxation (active meditation would be another good way to describe it) which consists of being both active AND relaxed at the same time. So its a paradox and these two states can co-exsist and dont have to be mutually exclusive as is most often considered to be the case.

    I guess the word passive wouldnt come into the state of being dynamically relaxed though as you are active, alert, concious, attentive, present etc and its just that you practice certain 'principles' whilst active like 'relax completely' in which you scan the body for tension and conciously release it (and often when you tell people to drop their shoulders and gently stretch up they usually stand a couple if inches taller because of the tension they are storing there!) Theres a few other principles and I've even seen that magician Dynamo use them to stop guys three times his size lifting him off the ground which is easy when you know how and really he shouldnt be passing it off as 'magic'!

    I guess the idea is to accept the feelings your experiencing, blend with them in a kind of state of 'relaxed grace' and actively re-direct the energies and emotions (energy-in-motion) you are experiencing into more creative, beneficial, helpful pursuits etc.

    And there are times when you will feel down, weak, or discouraged (I feel a bit like that today for various reasons) and somebody used a quote on here that is another good example of actively re-directing your thoughts/energies into constructive actions...

    Student: I feel discouraged, what should I do?
    Teacher: Go encourage others

    ...and I just really love that!:eek:

    See if these posts help make the idea of this middle way any clearer?

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2655-The-Way-of-Harmony
     
    Mark, Feb 21, 2014
    Mark, Feb 21, 2014
    #2

Share This Page