Paranoid about my partner watching porn...

Fortheking1111 · Aug 22, 2018

I know I have to try to seperate my self esteem here but it does impact me as much as I want to deny it...
I found out the depth of his interest in porn and it was more so than I thought which has been hurtful since I give him plenty well-and then i actually began being second to his porn watching. Sighs.
He feels he’s not addicted and that it is very out of sight out of mind for him. I can see he is easily triggered. I can also see I have my own issues with perversion and lust (though I no longer truly act on it) and I am able to deter with prayer and refocusing on wants instead of don’t wants. I am not nearly as triggered. Don’t even know if that’s relevant. Sucks to have to even stress about this to be honest. I want him to realize the potential we can reach in our intimacy. Plus, he’s just so irritable and low and rude to me when he’s in action//that’s actually how I can tell. Not to mention my torso burns all over w hurt. back to my original point— (and could also use some encouragement) how do I cease the paranoia? Truly? What are some things I can do. I haven’t suggested this forum to him yet he doesn’t even know about it. But I have a strong feeling he will do it again: should I wait until he does or kindly bring this up to him? He feels shameful so it’s really dedicate balance of minding both of our hearts.

Thank you,
Enofapfan

ShamefulSpouse · Aug 23, 2018

My husband agreed to couples counseling when I was having a problem with his porn warching. Little did I know, he only agreed to go because he thought the counselor was going to tell me I was being childish and insecure. That is NOT how the appt went and he has accepted his PA better than I expected. I still have a lot to learn also, as I’m new to all of this, but since he has accepted it and read some books on it, it has helped immensely. We are currently in “full disclosure mode” so I’m getting details I didn’t necessarily want to hear for my ego, but needed to hear. It has helped the trust and paranoia believe it or not. I have learned a lot about him. However, I will say it didn’t exactly help some of my insecurities. It’s a process. I’m still in the thick of it. My hubby has only been PMO free for 3 weeks, which is awesome, but still very new.

Fortheking1111 · Aug 23, 2018

I’m a big believer in prayer. I’ll think of you when I do and pray the same: for comfort ease and true realization it’s not necessarily us...ugh. I’m vascilating in feelings and ego wounding myself. But for real, I commend both of you and wish you the best and that it may come with grace ease and patience.

Deleted Account · Aug 23, 2018

I think what really helped me deal with the paranoia was realising that I can not control anything my SO does, says or thinks. That’s entirely between him and God. Give your SO back to Jesus and release yourself from the burden and responsibility of it all. It’s not up to you to fix this issue...

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with asking for full disclosure and total honesty from now on. Talk to your partner about how you feel. Tell him you don’t want to feel like a paranoid, insecure person all the time.
Then give it all back to God and trust in Him to look after you.

Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God”.

Fortheking1111 · Aug 24, 2018

Thank you dearly

Fortheking1111 · Aug 24, 2018

God bless you

Log in

Paranoid about my partner watching porn...

Fortheking1111 Fapstronaut

ShamefulSpouse Fapstronaut

Fortheking1111 Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

Fortheking1111 Fapstronaut

Fortheking1111 Fapstronaut

Share This Page