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P and Healthy Sexuality - Sexual expression vs. Coercion?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by D-Mystifier, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. Jan 9, 2019 #1
    D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

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    Really been struggling with this for some time now. Having used porn for around 15 years now (age 28) I have noticed a change in the aggressiveness in the mainstream content, namely aggression by men towards women. Problematic, given #metoo and such... Thus, my question for anyone reading is this:

    Are men in P using 'sexual expression' as a guise to coerce female P actresses to do things that defile their dignity? Alternatively, do female P actresses actually enjoy being physical and emotionally (in my opinion) abused in order to satiate some level of sexual pleasure? Are there not healthier ways to get randy!?

    My honest opinion is that with the prevalence of mental health (or lack there of/illness) that women are increasingly at risk of being coerced into a demeaning sexual role, that end of the day does them no favour in regards to living a respected, fulfilled, and happy life. This issue around mental illness also extends to men who are perhaps more likely to seek thrill from coercion and power, with no real concern for human emotion. Anyways, on the female side, subjecting oneself to what appears to be a sever level of humiliation and defeat can't be healthy, can it?

    Please let me know what ya'll have to say on the topic. Do you see things as I do, or am I just close-minded to 'healthy sexuality'? Any female input would be hugely appreciated/helpful!
     
    D-Mystifier, Jan 9, 2019
    D-Mystifier, Jan 9, 2019
    #1
  2. Jan 10, 2019 #2
    Aryangor

    Aryangor Fapstronaut
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    Why do bullies take their anger out on weaker kids/people? To make themselves feel better about their potential and even perhaps their intrinsic value. The majority of bullies come from households where the value of a human life is not appreciated but downplayed.

    So why then do men enjoy dominating women - and even other men - via porn fantasies? I feel for the same reasons, they are simply trying to affirm their own feeling of masculinity, strength and significance. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that if value is not bestowed from a more powerful character onto you (aka with authority & influence), you will be seeking it by oppressing less powerful beings.

    Ah, and of course, the extremes of feminism play the role. Take an insecure man who wants to prove himself to the world and leftist feminists taunting him who are protected by law from his dominance and aggression - and you get a perfect concoction for porn addiction and even domestic violence.
     
    Aryangor, Jan 10, 2019
    Aryangor, Jan 10, 2019
    #2
  3. Jan 12, 2019 #3
    D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

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    Well said, unfortunate as it is. Most (not all) hardcore feminists are approaching things in a completely counterproductive manner, at least that's how I see it.

    Also, I remember hearing some time ago that Rihanna considers herself a feminist yet is submissive in the bedroom. Is that a thing? Which lead me to this article...

    https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-...eally-like-to-be-a-submissive-and-a-feminist/

    "You have to come to submission from a place of strength. If you've got nothing to offer, that's not submission; that's a codependent bullshit relationship."

    Does this not come across as serious delusion!?!? To any 'submissives' reading this please weigh in!
     
    D-Mystifier, Jan 12, 2019
    D-Mystifier, Jan 12, 2019
    #3
  4. Jan 14, 2019 #4
    Aryangor

    Aryangor Fapstronaut
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    I have yet to find a world view / system where masculinity and femininity are considered complementary to each other and not antagonistic.

    I know in the Bible in the epistle to Ephesians, Paul writes that the married couple should "submit to one another" in love and reverence. But I think it should be even deeper than that! If we even look at how our genitalia were created, how they perfectly match during an intercourse and how so many anatomic elements are created solely for pleasure. All these things point to an incredible design which implies team work and collaboration on so many levels.

    Now, to say that one gender is better than another is to completely ignore this miracle of intimacy. It's like to state that the intensity of our skin's pigmentation can be defining to our intelligence and abilities. (As if I become dumber after a tan in sun :D )

    And so I believe that only in a mutual symbiotic synergy, grounded in understanding that the other gender is extremely unique and has something that you do not have and still need - in this humble realization is the first step towards conquering the enmity between the two genders which has always been there - probably even since Adam said that "it's the woman You gave me" who made him sin. When you see the other gender as inferior and not same as your, you shut your heart and soul down towards the ability to love.
     
    Aryangor, Jan 14, 2019
    Aryangor, Jan 14, 2019
    #4
    D-Mystifier and Jennica like this.
  5. Jan 23, 2019 #5
    D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

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    Two conflicting messages from BBC... A message promoting the banishment of porn (my view) vs. a message promoting the 'sex-positive' aspects of porn.


    • "I looked at women as a way of gratifying myself, that's the truth of it, you look at women through the eyes of porn"
    against...


    • "When you have a great shoot, and an amazing location, you have a great group of people, you go somewhere and you have amazing sex, then you get food, and you're being paid really well, and you're like this is so gorgeous like why would I not want to do this you know? I mean like, it is a fucking dream... it was absolutely my calling to go into porn"
    • "I don't want to live in a world where shooting porn has a negative impact if that's the way we're living I'm going to do porn and I'm going to try and change that world"

    First, I don't think Paulita's vision of porn holds much merit, at least not regarding the (false) reality of porn moving towards a more sex-positive display. Again, I truly believe that male actors/producers are using the idea of being 'sex-positive' to coerce girls into exploring new levels of eroticism, in which almost all cases involve being further degraded by men in roles of power. Does this stand true for anyone else out there? It is the trend I see occurring in porn. Perhaps it is true that the lifestyle that comes with doing porn can be quite enjoyable, but I fail to believe that what happens when the camera turned on constitutes as healthy sexuality. Anyways, looking for conflicting viewpoints with mine here! Noticed that most people have avoided responding in this topic, so not sure what that's about..
     
    D-Mystifier, Jan 23, 2019
    D-Mystifier, Jan 23, 2019
    #5

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