Overcoming looking at women lustfully

I am with you on this. I've only realized just how bad my situation had become. I am actively withdrawing. No sleep, sweats. It's miserable. But seeing a beautiful woman seems to light the fuse and gets the, lust cranking. I am actively trying to use Anthony Robbins process to break this cycle. To some success actully. I am linking absolute pain to these actions and thoughts. I look away quickly and recite my mantra. I love my wife I don't want to loose her. Over and over until the moment passes. I do actually adore my wife, and it would break her heart to see or hear me do this behavior of patterned lust. So, it seems to be working. I'm definitely not saying"Don't look!" But streamlining it to a healthier inner dialogue is a must. Plus I think I'm going to be way less creepy lol
M

 

This is what I'm having trouble with too. Before NoFap I could let my imagination run wild but now I have to actively push those thoughts aside.

It's perfectly normal human behavior to be sexually attracted to people so don't be too hard on yourself. Just distract yourself, I guess. Exercise, chores, ring a friend, cold shower, etc

 

I feel if you work and try not to stare, just see along with focussing higher......a little bit more, like their eyes and face it helps as well.

 

Try to resist taking a second look. Try to keep your eyes on their face, and try not to stare, or think about it afterwards.

 

I truly feel your pain. I was just fired from my job asking a coworker for undie pics.

I'm also at that point in my recovery where I dont really feel a need to look at porn, or masturbate. However my desire to fuck really has increased lately. This only shows that I got a long road ahead still.

I'm eventually going to be starting a new job, hopefully 2 new jobs. I already hit the gym just about every day. I read self help books. And outside of family, I dont have very many friends.

Keep yourself busy in any way possible. Love who you are, and forgive yourself for having these lustful thoughts.

I hope that this helps you.

 

This is defined by some on this site as "ogling". I struggle with this too. I find for me it gets worst the more disconnected I get from them as people. My tactic is I start to ask myself questions about them. "I wonder what her greatest fear is", "I wonder if her grandfather is alive or dead", "I wonder what she wanted to be when she grew up when she was 6". Basically questions to focus my attention on them as a person and not let my mind view them sexually or objectify them. Hope this helps.

 

An easy way of doing this. Respect each woman. Respect her for being a fellow person. For the hardwork she does to make things work. She might have an abusive boyfriend or a drug addict brother. Just see her as a person and not as object. Then think of the most important task you plan to do during ur day Challenge yourself to not look at her twice. Be egoistic about not looking at her unless she strikes a conversation.

 

i like doctor Weiss' rubber band method. You wear a rubber band and when you go into fantasy or lust you snap it.

 

Rubber band method doesn't work for me. I just end up snapping it until my wrist is numb. Any suggestions other than the rubber band method?

 

sorry to hear that it doesn't work. Have you tried thinking about what makes you look at women lustfully? Normally for me it is stress, a resentment or a fear. The thing is that, the women are always going to be there (I work in New York right by World Trade Center). You need to get to the bottom of why you do this, try finding an accountability partner.

 

What a grea idea!! Thank you! P by its nature objectifies and sexualizes women. Turning them back into full "people" rather purely visual objects it brilliant!

 

think of Dwayne Johnson

 

are you religious?

 

The longer I am going without PM the easier it has become for me not to view women as sexual objects. I make an effort to appreciate their beauty without having to resort back to the lustful thoughts. My addicted brain is slowly returning back to where it needs to be.

 

You won't be surprised to hear that this topic comes up lots. I've been keeping a list of threads here. There are lots of interesting tips and techniques plus insights from women about how it feels to be stared at.

 

Only Jesus can change that, and as you immerse yourself in the Word, you will begin to see people (and women) the way God sees them. I found out that in my own works I was unable to stop lusting and only when I applied the above principles I was able to be free from that also.

 

Read nonfiction books about women facing harassment or persecution and recognize the parts of yourself you might see in the people harassing or oppressing them, and work to not have those beliefs.

 

What’s had the biggest motivating impact on me to stop ogling is what some of the wives and partners report (on this great site) about how demeaning it is to catch their make partner doing it. Nearly always the man vastly underestimated how obvious they are thinking they are being discreet. It horrified me to think my wife and two sons catch me ogiling and so now trying to force myself to empathise how creepy it is for young women to be ogled by me a guy older than their dad! My empathy has been diminished by the addiction to porn I’m sure, time to reverse this. My responsibility.