Over-texted a girl, what should I do next, 2 successful dates in...

I would set rules for yourself to help for next time. Something like, no matter how well or poor a date goes, you will always wait 24 hours to text or reach out. You don't want to come across as desperate, or aloof either.

 

My only advice...be prepared to let this one go...there are other fish in the sea. Keep on your reboot and get your head straight and focus on your own self confidence.

You cant make someone care about you or call you back. A lot of people act nice because they dont want to hurt one another, then at the same time everyone is also playing games to test eachother.
So one thought is to get a commitment of some sort before the date is over. Other things test if shes just putting on the act would be extend the current date (move to another location) or cut it short due to other commitments but set something up later. And 2nd date...have you kissed her?

To recover from this you need to reassert your confidence to her somehow(if there is a chance)...tough to gauge the right action not knowing the situation. You could try and address the psycho idea head on and joke back about how she must think your crazy text a dumb meme or something. Or give her a breather, and maybe look for a future event concert or movie and 3-7 days later mention you wanted to get tickets and if shed be interested in being your date.

 

Yep theres a reason for the 3 day rule men often abide by and women complain about. I usually aim for 2 or 5.

 

I'm female in your age range my partner has PIED. My advice is give yourself a break from dating during your reboot. You are going to be extra emotional during this time and you may act irrationally. Work on yourself then get back out there. Ever been around someone who is trying to stop smoking in the early days? How is their mood? I have been on both ends. One where I was too needy due to insecurities and came on too strong and where men creeped me out by coming on too strong. You definitely would have given me the creep factor if you did this to me. Remember this woman barely knows you! My advice do not contact her at all. If she reaches out to you respond otherwise move on. You will just creep her out more and it makes you appear desperate. Work on you then in 90 days try again with dating! And lesson learned right? You know not to do this again .

 

I want to echo @GG2002. She has a solid point: giving yourself time to rest and recover as you head into a difficult period is a really good idea. You can experience some significant disruptions to normalcy as your body resets to normal motivations. I noticed around the 2-week mark that I wanted to kill everybody, then there are what I think of as the "limp dick phases" where you kind of lose all taste in things sexual...and everything else, too. Taking some time to work and grow as an individual for however long your particular challenge is, again, a really good idea.

As for a few tactical considerations:
What @unfailing said, about getting

is also a good idea. There is no reason to wait when it comes to these things. The "3-day rule" is silly - with the speed at which things move these days, she may well have forgotten about you in 72 hours, or even the next day! Better to make a connection sooner.

In your immediate situation, have you apologised?
I really think this is your best option. Send her a message saying, "You're right. I was too intense, I am very sorry." If she accepts and is willing to keep meeting up or messaging - great! If not, you have to be ready and willing to respect her decision and leave her be. We've all screwed up a conversation with a woman before and you have to know when to let her go.

What do you make of your Whatapp episode? If a friend of yours wrote the following and asked you all the places he went wrong, what would you say?

 

You have a way.
Just do nothing now.

Contact her in 6 months again.

 

Thanks. Just a comment about dating totally unrelated to nofap. I online dated for years and I agree no 3 day rule. If you had a great time text her the next day and say that and tell her you would like to see her again when is she free? Women get so much more attention on online dating than men do. I could have had a different date every night! I'm not sure men realize truly how much! So she may forget you it's okay to stand out. If you don't hear back then maybe one more text a few days later just following up but after that let it go. I always responded but many people don't. It happened to me with men too. It's rude I agree but if you are going to date these days you gotta accept it. It's not you. I would however caution you about trying on the first date to set a second up. Women are socialized to be polite. So often we say sure in person because we don't want to cause a scene and many of us have had guys flip out when we were honest. So you may get a false yes and be even more disappointed. Wait until the next day. And I would not follow up in this case and apologize in this case. Just let it go. She knows you are interested. And try not to invest yourself too much too early. In today's dating world two dates is nothing. You have to have really tough skin unfortunately which is all the more reason to get yourself together emotionally before you wade in!

 

You haven't done any mistake .. you just learned. Don't call it mistake in the first place.

 

well, maybe, but 6 months is better, because in that time, you change yourself.

I did a "mistake" like you, I was dating a woman and on our 3rd date, she became extremely aroused and we kissed heavily ... it was super exciting .... but later, I scared her off... I thing she was scared by her own reaction...

6 months no contact, then I contacted her .. we met the same evening! ... went out for a long walk .... in the night she invited me to her place, but I sensed she was testing me ... I stayed a while and went ... That seemed to impress her .... Next day she contacted me with a big thank you ....

Funny thing is my interest in her faded away because I saw her very differently than in the beginning.

 

Yeah our brains are messed up during the reboot. I'm having my own demons to chase away too. I think everyone agrees to give yourself a break and take care of yourself.

 

@GG2002 It totally depends on the characters.

With the 3-day-rule you show that you are in charge of yourself and not clinging. If a woman feels under pressure, she flees.

Of course, the same is true for men. It happened to me multiple times that I got stalked - ok I admit it's brushing your ego, but it can also become terrible. Especially when a woman stands on your doormat at midnight. Or she begins to threaten your new spouse, etc.

Anyway .... .At last, it's about having a good time!
If two people get deeply aroused during a date and kiss in the streets, then this is one great event!
Just say thanks to the gods! Take this memory with you, don't clinge and chase for more.

 

That's a very very good insight!
It's actually really mostly your own projection.
After a while, you see it more neutral, and then your picture of her will change.
That's called maturing. And it is importnat that you did it! That's why your behaviour is not a mistake ---- it is learning.

A girl comes along, and she is attracting all your inner emotions which have been locked up.
Now everything is coming out, which is very good! But you must be aware that this happens on your side, and she is only a kind of "projection wall". She is feeling this, and that's why she escapes.

You see it best when it happens to you in reverse. Sometimes it can happen that people are "admiring" for you for something, and you don't really understand why. You can then see that these people have a void in their soul, and are "using" you for filling this void.

 

Getting a life is the answer. If you have lots of stuff going on in your life then you don't need to stress over girls. You are busy they are busy you both will respond when convenient.

That’s one of the worst feelings seeing a girl online on WhatsApp but they are not responding to your messages which means they are probably talking to other guys. Or they are running some game on you where they don’t want to respond too quickly because that makes them look too needy.

My advice would be to stop obsessing over one girl realise that everyone is almost always talking to other people so if you want to even the playing field then you have to do the same thing. Have an abundance mind-set if you have plenty of options then eventually one of them is going to work out for you. Putting all your effort into one girl when she is only giving you like 50% attention is just not being productive. Plenty of girls out there who DO want to talk to you.