Over 45 days now? More confident than ever

My journey has been a rollercoaster. From not knowing the effects of porn, many relapses, and finally putting in the work to get better once and for all.

Last time I abstained from PMO (as a personal decision and before finding out about the NoFap community) for about 2 months when I started dating a girl. We broke up for personal reasons of hers and I was emotionally broken, you guys can guess what happened next. I looked up a lot of porn for 3 days and masturbated twice each of those days. I was going to fall back into that trap when I found an article linking depression (and all the PMO symptoms) to porn. I decided to join NoFap and commit, around that time I met a beautiful girl and we started dating.

Fast forward through the past 45 days (I started eating healthy, meditating, lifting weights and doing cardio; mostly boxing - I started all this about 3 weeks ago).

I told her about everything and she did not take it very well. We didn't talk about a bout a week because she wanted to "think about it". She then decided that we continue seeing each other and she was proud of my progress. We tried having sex for the first time but I kept going soft and she was understanding. We only see each other once a week, we try having sex and it was successful a couple of times, but I finished quick.

We had some arguments and she said that she is still unsure if this is something she wants and that our sex is the biggest issue for her and she doesn't like the fact that I still go soft and/or cum fast. I explained to her again that recovery could take a while. We are currently not on a very well talking terms, but I would be lying if I said I did not expect that (whether with her or another partner). I am giving her time to reflect on herself and think about it, not keeping my hopes high regarding our relationship but we will see what happens!

I take responsibility of it all because only I decided to start watching porn, I did not take action to stop it, and I am proud of myself that I am finally aware of the issues that rise from it.
Relapsing is not an option anymore. Porn and I have finally parted ways and it had left me with a reminder that that period of my life, I wasted precious useful time on porn, lost relationships because of porn, and don't get me started on the physical and mental effects.

I'm sorry this has been quite a lengthy post but sharing my experience and updates does help a lot too!

Also, feel free to have any open discussion with me!
Thanks

 

It is difficult I'm not gonna lie, especially in the beginning. However, once you start and keep in mind that this is what you want, porn is bad, and you want your healthy life back, it will become much easier!

 

You're absolutely right. Thank you! I appreciate it