Online dating: too easy to slip or good for reboot?

I don't recommend you such websites. They are full of lies (people try to show they have extraordinary bodies) and also full of nude pictures. So it increases the risks for you to relapse and gather other frustrations.

 

100% agree.

 

I had to close my plenty of fish account to do this properly.

It's too easy to get caught up waiting for replies and looking at the pics, which could tempt a relapse.

Try talking to women in the day (without a sexual objective), you'll be surprised how much more fun that is and each time it will build your real-world abilities.

 

The problem I have with online dating is that unless you are extraordinarily attractive or rich the odds are against you because attractive fun women have the benefit of being able to select nearly anyone, and even if you are quite above average in looks if you don't know what pictures are attractive to women you'll be at a disadvantage. This all leads to a scenario that could severely hurt your self esteem. Where in the real world your charm actual appearance sense of humor and how you carry yourself can all add up to to winning a very attractive and smart woman you might not get the chance to talk to them at all with online dating. I've gone for women I'm not interested in just because of low self esteem that came with tinder and that hurt everyone involved. I know the allure to online dating is big it's less intimidating and it's where dating is going, but real world conversations with real women that you are actually attracted to is what will work fastest boost your confidence the most and help you grow the most despite how good or bad the conversation goes

 

Also even if you stick with online dating, skip the adult hookup sites like adult friend finder, those are usually completely fake and scams plus I'm not sure if even if there was a website where you could find women to have empty sex without any kind of build up or work towards it if that would be any better than a porn addiction if not a little worse

 

So a few girls are into you online? Here's what I would do...

Ask them all out but don't wait for their replies, then close your PC and go to a mall or park and chat to a few girls there (use that confidence that you already have a few dates lined up).

Also, do look into if you can actually quit payments on the dating thing - you should be able to quit and get a refund. There may even be a cool down period!

If you find you can't get a refund AND it's detrimental to you, then you can write it off as an expense that has no benefit. Just because it cost some $, doesn't mean it should cost you your time if it's holding you back.

 

Thank you for posting this thread discussion, I just deleted all my online dating accounts, I feel like they are all causing me to relapse, and I end up in a continuous cycle much like the addiction to PMO. I feel an urge and am lonely, I go on to the dating site/app, browse and swipe a bunch, I find that no matches have replied, I feel sad and disappointed after, and the cycle continues....

 

I know that feeling. I think one way online dating can be bad is it leads you to thinking something really good could happen in real life.

With PMO we all know we're watching a fantasy, but online dating can hook you for hours or make you constantly check your app because there's always a small chance that you might meet a great girl etc. But in reality? we spend hours and hours and meet no one, or we meet a crazy lol.

 

Yes thats very bad for me ... Im 27 and have totally no clue how to find a girl in real life and I know these sites are terrible and devastating. BUt i have no fucking clue how to approach girls - in my work there are only males. On gym there are no single girls and even if there are I have no clue how to approach them. Pool? Sme Language lessons? Ive signed and there was only 2 pretty girls but taken... fuck this is a disaster ive no clue where to find them then. 'go outside and find women' doesnt work

 

I am by no means an expert, but 2 places that always have plenty of nice women. Grocery store, Library.

Starting friendly conversation with a girl at the shops seems like a good place to start. If she's taken, at least you get approach experience!

 

GO TO THE BAR

 

I agree if work or school are no goes bars are will at least get you experience

 

I feel you bro I'm having the same problem I always go to clubs because I like to dance and have been told how good I am but I only really do it with confidence when I get a couple drinks in me but the club is so hit or miss for me plus I still have approach anxiety but I'm trying to improve myself everyday and asking friends for feedback in that aspect but I notice after abstaining from pmo my confidence has gone up because there is no shame from objectifying women and watching depraved stuff good luck bro

 

l am on Pof too . i notice its not easy avoiding random girls but i do get first approach from girls which leads to no where due to busy work schedule. i try to just go to the messages and sign out so as not to keep looking at different women.

 

Remember that dopamine is a chemical for anticipation, not a chemical for pleasure. So when you are swiping and swiping, excited with anticipation of getting a message from The One, you are engaging the same brain chemical response as with porn addiction. This is why you can click and click for hours on porn tube sites - you are anticipating finding the perfect girl or video or porn setup. This dopamine anticipation is like a high and it has similar effects on your brain as cocaine addiction. Check yourbrainonporn.com for tons of info on this.

It helps in fighting PMO addiction to think of things in terms of anticipation, rather than thinking in terms of pornography. When you abstain from PMO, you lose a lot of dopamine that you've accustomed yourself to, so it helps to replace it with healthy things to anticipate. Exercise and anticipate getting healthier, start working toward a fun vacation to anticipate, engage in artwork or something creative so you are anticipating the outcome while you work on it, etc....

I would strongly advise to invest in real-world connections over anything cyber-related. It's going to be hard to quit at first - that cocaine analogy is pretty spot on. But once you've truly broken the habit, you'll never regret it. Best of luck to you!!