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Once had game, but now I'm lame

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Porn Killer, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. Porn Killer

    Porn Killer Fapstronaut

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    Okay so when i was really young i was goofy but shy. As i started liking girls i realized i needed to be more out going (i realized this about the same time i discovered porn). By the end of freshmen year of highschool everyone knew me as the crazy wild out going guy who was pretty popular and had lots of friends. All through high school i got lots of girls and i was becoming a huge douche bag. I was also watching lots of porn so this only created a bigger more sexually driven douche.

    Needless to say, because of some things i did halfway through my senior year, no girls liked me i lost a good chunk of my friends and a life time of guilt.

    Ive come to grasps with the tool i was and found forgiveness with God. Nevertheless, while i do have friends and family with church, i feel like a complete loser. I havent had a gf since highschool (7 years ago) and all my friends seam to have no problem getting dates. The girl i was most recently interested in and really had a thing for is now dating my best friend (Though nether of them knew i had a thing for her so im not mad at either of them).

    I also have ADHD so not alot of people understand me and get along with me. Porn also hasnt helped.

    Anyways, just wanted to get that out there. It sucks but its the hand i was dealt.
     
    PornFreeMe and pezzer like this.
  2. tupiniquim

    tupiniquim Fapstronaut

    It happens to all of us, we make mistakes, and hopefully, we learn from them. You seem to be doing exactly that.

    Don't get too hung up on the amount of friends you have right now, a few good friends are far better than a bunch of lame ones. You might even ask them for help...

    As for the dating part, I'm afraid I won't be able to be of much help right now, as I'm going trough a very similar issue. All I can say is that you are not alone.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  3. TomMoin

    TomMoin Fapstronaut

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    welcome!

    my advice is to start rethinking: being attacked by life <-> attacking life

    you can do it, you will do it!
     
    Hitto, Deleted Account and tupiniquim like this.
  4. Crimson Guard

    Crimson Guard Fapstronaut

    Man, God has a plan with you, like He has with everyone! The girl that fits you, will come into your life when He decides! Always pray, and wait! He's testing all of us, to be the best for Him!
     
  5. Are you saying pmo turned you lame? Or that the tool you became in high school screwed up your chances of being liked after high school because no one likes a tool. I can relate if it’s the former...
     
  6. HereComesHappy

    HereComesHappy New Fapstronaut

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    i kind of get you. In some way i feel porn has something to do with it, at least for me. Now I can talk to woman and be somewhat confident, but i find it hard to get a date or find someone where there are mutual feelings, i find myself having very picky tastes in woman and im not sure if thats a good thing for me as it can give me a hard time. maybe i just have unrealistic expectations. All i know is that i used to watch porn on a daily basis but now im going to change that, and that with Gods help and hopefully this community ill be able to achieve just that. you are not alone man.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  7. Change the thought of being "picky" to "I have my preference". It's okay to dig a certain type, and it's okay to look outside that type. I like petite, fair complected brunettes with glasses...nothing wrong with that.
    If I come across a cool blonde one day I might change my mind. Hit the gym (if you haven't already) and eat well balanced foods. This will do wonders for you because I think you may lack confidence in yourself...women will pick up on that and avoid you.
    Forgive yourself for the past and move on. You can do this.
     
    Hitto and HereComesHappy like this.
  8. HereComesHappy

    HereComesHappy New Fapstronaut

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    Ill definitely take what you said into consideration. Yesterday i actually went out with some friends and guys, i honestly felt so damn social. i would lead the group conversation, id tell a simple joke and everybody would laugh. i feel myself already improving as a person, it might be due to the psychological fact that im conscious i m trying to change but still. i felt really good about myself and the way i portrayed myself to those who met me that day, and my other older friends.
    and about changing the mindset of picky to preference, i think your right, i mean its not like i have to like every girl. one thing i learned from all this and what friends have told me is that, im no longer looking for a girl, im just there, like, when i see a girl i no longer think will she be the one, or even think of her sexually, i still talk to girls but with a purely friendly motive. if it happens it happens, i have found myself a lot smoother because it really takes the pressure off, thank you community and keep strong!!!
     
    HipPete likes this.
  9. Try the seven day challenge it’s hard me so far but I swear it is helping me alred6 feel more confident
     
  10. PornFreeMe

    PornFreeMe Fapstronaut

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    I too once had it, but lost it miserably. Aint had a girlfriend in 14 years. This shit does not fix itself. You have to take control and steer your life in the direction you choose.

    If you do nothing, you'll hit 29 and be like me. The same problems you had when youre 22. Fix then while you're young. Your 20s should be full of warmth, adventure, fun, and growth. Don't limit yourself.

    Life is sacred, not in a religious way, but in a its over fast as shit way. Every day is a new opportunity, I just wish you younger guys grasped just how imperative it is you find that seed or impetus of change and cling to it. You've gotta find it and channel it, or this madness and loneliness will become all you know.
     
    Lonewolfpt likes this.
  11. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    I would say focus on strengthening your relationship above all other things and then your relationship with yourself and family and friends pick up some hobbies and interests to diversify yourself and then when women see you striving to be the best version of yourself and your dependant on them for your self esteem then you will start to attract them they will se you becoming the best version of yourself
     

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