On not being complacent and applying "pressure" to your reboot journey

Hi all, had some thoughts I'd like to share.

Currently almost up to 50 days hard mode. Have made huge strides in this short amount of time, especially in transmuting this energy into new endeavors and progress. In this short amount of time I've gained about 25 pounds of muscle, hit multiple PRs in the gym, went through an advanced SQL course, and have been interviewing for a career change.

But lately I became complacent in my mindset and focus. I was focusing on these outcomes and activities and sacrificing meditation and longer cold showers which keep me centered. Finally in the last few days finally caught up to me and I just felt burn out and fried. I was also having greater difficulty not fantasizing. I was getting short tempered and it was wearing on some personal relationships.

Yesterday and today I took a step back and realized I needed to get back to basics, and center this journey on my meditation practices in order to make this sustainable. And when meditating staying present the word that comes to mind is pressure or to press forward.

When I first was introduced to meditation, about 11 years ago and well before I knew about nofap, I read the book Mindfulness In Plain English and one of the things that impressed on me was that meditation takes work. That staying focused on my breath or object of meditation takes active engagement and determination to do. Similary, so does the determination to stand for a period of time under a cold shower, or any other meditative activity. And while meditating, I have this general schema that my mind will want to wonder or do whatever is the most pleasing, but to go against those impulses I need to apply pressure to focus back on my breath. It is similar feeling as walking against a wind where my thoughts are pushing me back against my focus, but I press forward to my object, and in time the wind dies down and calms itself.

The results of abstaining can be read throughout these forums, and even in this short time during this current streak the results for me have been shocking. Be that it as it may, it is still critical to be mindful and present, and with all things balance. It is easy to get caught up into the transumtative powers of abstaining, but in order for long term success, we need to apply pressure the impulses to burn ourselves out, and take time to sit and quiet our minds.