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On a good note...

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Deleted Account, Sep 14, 2017.

  1. In light of my feeling sentimental today...

    What made you fall in love with your SO?
     
    Hopefulgirl likes this.
  2. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    For me, we hit it off instantly, and I figured I would see where it went. Before we were officially bf/gf we were in his bed, and this was the first time all our clothes came off. I was terrified, he could see it, I think I put my clothes back on and he didn't understand why I looked so scared and couldn't talk. I got paper and a pen and wrote down that I had been sexually assaulted by a classmate, then raped by a boyfriend the following year, and just 3 months prior to meeting him got raped by a guy I'd been dating. My husband reacted in the way I wished everyone had reacted. My husband immediately hugged me, started tearing up and crying and said he wished he could hurt the people who hurt me and said he couldn't imagine anyone doing that to me and from that moment on he said he would never let any guy hurt me and would protect me and that if he had known me back then he wouldn't have let those guys touch me.

    For me that moment showed me that he believed me and had the ability to empathize. Everyone I told, including my parents, didn't give me support in the beginning. I got questioned, minimized, dismissed. No one cried for me, no one said they couldn't imagine that happening, no one said they would want to protect me. I got a lot of victim blaming.

    When my husband immediately hugged me, cried, and accepted my past I was so shocked and in awe of the fact that he didn't let that get to him. He helped me through PTSD flashbacks, and triggers. He did his best with protecting me and making sure I felt safe when we went out to bars and such. He genuinely cared about me like no one had before and that made me feel so safe, and I fell in love with him because he accepted me for me. There hasn't been one instance where I break down and he isn't there to hold me and get me through if he is physically there in the house. He is the only person who has told me that I'm not too much, I'm not a burden, he says I can't be a burden because he loves me, I am not too much because he wants to be there and help. No one has ever treated me like that before and been that kind. Even though he was addicted and I didn't know it, that night when I told him about my rapes is one of my most cherished memories. I still think back to it when I get down.
     
  3. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    OK.... Don't cry ladies.

    His integrity.

    He was always where he said he was, doing what he promised, when he promised.
    A true man of his word.
    He never let us down.
    People called him "Honest Abe"
    And "The Captain" (like Steve Rodgers)
    Cuz he's just that great of a guy.

    I remember my washer broke.
    Right after we started dating... He said he could fix it.
    He actually showed up To fix it.
    Men always say they will do stuff.
    He was actually doing stuff.
    He still mostly does his projects on time.
    Sort of amazingly.
    He did fix it too. (the washer that day)


    When we had our first boat rock, it was so difficult... I screamed at him-
    "your a liar?? Your a Liar!! How the fuck do I deal with this?! Nobody will believe that you are a Liar!!"
    It was so unbelievable.

    But he does, and is, truly trying to show me that it's not all poisoned.
    When if what you love most is honesty, where do you go next?

    I probably need good thoughts today.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2017
  4. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    My husband was the most honest man I had ever met. He was really vulnerable and genuine. He cared about people and was a good listener. He was so much fun and we sharef the same ridiculous sense of humour. All my previous boyfriends and my father were huge narcissists and my husband was not. Also, he loved me with such passion and innocence.
     
  5. I LOVE alllll of these!

    For me it was how patient, kind, gentle and SELFLESS he was. I never really had someone put me first. He treated me like a princess...never had that.

    He had to borrow my car on our first date and he changed the oil and filled the tank. He was so considerate.

    I kept a journal back then and my July 3rd entry I wrote "I've heard when you know..you know. Well I know. He's the guy I'm going to marry"....July 3rd of the following year..he proposed. Always thought that was cool :)
     
  6. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing this thread yesterday.
    We used it at the end of therapy.
    If it wasn't for this...
    I truly think it helped us figure it out at home.
    Sometimes you just have to remember why you are fighting not what you are fighting about.
    Love you B3!
    *Hugs* to all my anonymous angels!
     
  7. Awe good! Hugs back at ya!
     
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  8. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    For me it was her smile, her laugh, her intelligence, her humour and her kind heart which in the beginning I didn't realize was buried under a lot of pain, anguish and depression.
     
  9. For me it was his mind (intelligent AF) and caring. I felt like I have finally found someone I felt safe with (I know!!!). His commitment is also something I have always admired. He is not the one to walk away at the first sign of trouble. And then, after we dated for a while, he just came into my "ready" family and embraced it all without question. He treats my kids as his own. He doesn't impose anything on me/us. And he trusts me fully (well, he has no reasons not to). I still love all these things about him. Yes, @slb, I do :)
     
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