Old and New

Hi - I am new to NoFap and joined because of my porn addiction. I use porn as a cure for loneliness and as a distraction from loneliness and depression, not as a way of masturbating or reaching orgasm, I really don't even masturbate to porn, and yet it's been hard for me to stay away from it, it's become an addictive way of taking my mind off of my problems and my dark moods. I'm divorced and have a new partner who loves me but she's away right now and I'm having a hard time going through the Christmas season not seeing my children - they are pretty much grown by now, since I am older, but still. Whenever I get down, I turn to porn to cheer me up, mostly just pictures rather than videos, but I can't seem to stay away. NoFap is offering me hope, so here I am, even though I am scared to make the commitment and not looking forward to having to sit with my feelings and feel them as opposed to acting out. Thanks for this community.

 

Thanks Walk it Out. Yes, dopamine is exactly what it gives me - an instant way to feel good when I’m feeling down. Transferring to another way is a great idea. Would love to hear something that’s worked for you. I’m also worried that it might end up being sex in a committed and monogamous relationship with someone I care about, but I guess that wouldn’t be a bad thing. It would be good though to also get to the point where I could get that release in a more realistic habit, as opposed to trying to do without the release altogether. Thanks again for your nudge in the right direction.

 

Thanks for this. Working out is helpful for me too, but I didn't think of it in quite this way. I go to the gym about 3 times a week, and sometimes lift weights at home. I am also taking a creative writing course, and trying to throw myself into that more, as well as the reading that goes with it. I think what I really need is a dopamine reset, so that those things will gradually become more satisfying for me, rather than being in a down state unless I get a dose of porn or buying stuff or whatever give me a big dopamine flood. And yes, staying busy will be key for me.