okay let's do it again

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by jlsl16, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    So first hello everyone, sorry if my English is not the best is not my native language.
    well a year ago i tried to do like a day post of my progress but i just did like 3 days ... i know very sad. and all this time i have tried to fight my addiction but it was a little difficult i think the longer streak was like 15 days, i had good moments but more bad moments for sure, unfortunately i was not able to beat my addiction actually i didn't think of that like an addiction until this few months and that was a mistake by myself. so what is the result... well i lost my 3 years girlfriend maybe the love of my live (i can post the story in other time if someone wants), i lost my drive my goals in life, i lost my favorite sport and more important i lost what makes me myself.
    the good part is that i touched bottom in January and after that there is just going up, so the last 2 months i have been trying very hard to fight against my addiction and i have made good progress but not enough, this month has been hard and i thought that i may need a extra help, sooo i will post everyday how i fell about my addiction and the reasons why i am doing it.
    thanks for reading
     
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  2. Xanarc

    Xanarc New Fapstronaut

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    How did it cause you to lose the love of your life?
     
  3. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    well she is from another country, she was studying in my school one year, we meet each other and we dated 6 months, all that time that i was with her i didn't think of porn or masturbation,so i was like in my best version i was very happy very motivated, also in my university i was starting a lot of projects and i think she liked that too. then she left and we have to see each other every 4 months, it was hard but we were traveling more and enjoying a lot the vacations that we passed together. but then my addiction came in play. i had to many free time after she left and i had to wait until i see her to do any sex or kind of action, so i started seeing porn, a lot and then it became a habit again and i don't know how to explain it but you just change when you do porn every day, your mood your attitude, your more upset or frustrated. so after a long time of this that affect the relationship because i had changed i was not anymore the person she felt in love. and she knew about my addiction she tried to help me but well i don't know i could not control myself. also well you know long distance relationship it is very difficult so the addiction plus the distance did not help. at the end we were having a lot of discussions so we decided to see each other one more time and say good bye, so we saw each other in December just 15 days, it was good because i knew it was the last time so i really tried to have the best streak for that time. and well we had a good time but that was it. we were tired of the long distance relationship and prefer to finish the things like that. i know that if i have done the things different i may be still with her. but she gave me a lot of opportunities and well i did not change. is hard haha like really hard but you just have to stand up again and be better. that's the short version of my relationship. the good thing is that now i have the opportunity to change and be the best version of myself, i don't really want to have this problem when i meet another person that i like. so yes that's the story
     
  4. daymare

    daymare Fapstronaut

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    All the best, jls16! I'm looking forward to your updates. Stay strong - you can do it!
     
  5. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    thankssss !!!! you too !!!!
     
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  6. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    So hello everyone. today was day 1 and well was good i did nothing bad. when i woke up i had a lot of urges but i followed my morning routine and it worked (yeyy!). i have a little of stress due to a big test that i have tomorrow but i took it slowly and i studied with friends in the university so that helped too, also i did gym so now i can go to bed with less anxiety. so yep wish me luck tomorrow haha
     
  7. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone.
    Day 2 done! so today i had a lot of urges in the morning but i could focus on my goal doing my morning routine. afterwards i had the luck of being out of the house, so i did not have a lo of temptation, now the next days i will be more relaxed because i don't have any important work, so i have to be twice focus on my process and my actions.
    that's all for today
     
  8. stands to reason

    stands to reason Fapstronaut

    Dear @jlsl16 young man at 21 years,

    I am glad for you. You're only 21. You can heal. You can become whole. There's only one safe way to do this. You can overcome. In your paragraph you used the word 'addiction' 5 times. 5 times. Imagine that. You are not trapped in an addiction. An addiction is not holding you captive, sexual sin is. You are not suffering from an addiction, rather you are a slave to your sins. Find My Journal - left of screen.
     

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