Officially Pissed!

Hi bro. I can understand how you feel but i think everyone in this forum is able. Once I lost 70 days streak. I think anyway what you started to earn is not lost at all. When I abstained for 70 days I earned more social relations, physical activity, rediscover my passions and after relapse I kept these things in my life, i engaged to keep in my life. surely i lost the capability of eye contact with the others, I found again frezny , euphory, mental fog. I think this process is not linear. For me, to face urges, I have learned it is important to understand emotions I try, because in these years of PMO addiction I lost the capability to see and listen my emotions. PMO was the only vent valve whenever I was sad but also happy, PMO is a sort of anesthetic . Now when I have urges, I stop and i write what i am feeling in that moment and urge pass away. anyway don't discourage and push ahead.