I’m struggling similarly with the not feeling like he’s “all in”. Abstaining is not recovering. I recently sent him an article about building intimacy in 3 steps daily. An exercise that should help with all of what you describe about. I can s nd you the link if you want but basically it says to: Pray together (if you pray) Feelings - Share two feelings you’ve had (not about eachother Praise - tell the other person two things you like or admire about them And look each other in the eyes for #2 & 3. We haven’t done this yet but plan on implementing starting tonight. Not sure if it’ll help you but it might be worth a try?