Novelty

Hi there mutu.

Such an interesting question you are asking. I was in a 18 years relationship with the same women and had 2 kids with her. My current relationship been going on for 5 years. I turned to porn in the first one not because I got bored but because we were almost not having sex anymore because we were getting on each other's nerves more often than not. What I do find interesting in your question is : do I feel like I brought the best in that long term relationship sexually? Not at all. Am I bringing the best sexually in this current one? Not at all!!

Porn is a bitch. It led me to keep what I would have loved to do to my previous girlfriends as degrading or disrespectful (and I mean the ok stuff, not the bad porn one), to a point where all I wanted to do was the super sensual erotic soft porn stuff I got to believe that was all women wanted. Wow, I don't know if I make sense here.

In my 2 real deep relationships often times those girlfriends wanted me to be more "man" sexually, more in control, more confident. To me that part I assumed in watching porn and never was able to do that in real life. Still to this day I can't;

Spoiler: Possibly triggering text !

I know 100% sure my current GF would love me to take her by surprise and fuck her on the spot just like that.

I still just can't. Not yet. Not trusting myself enough yet. All those porn ideas in my head are still messing with me.

So.... This is really self helping lol. To answer your question, you still need to seek novelty, excitement, but in a different way than with different bodies! If you're at ease with that, take control man. Surprise her, be spontaneous, send her sexy notes at work. Try new stuff together. What amazed me is how our wifes are in a way just like ourselves.

Spoiler: Possibly triggering text !

In my head there was no way my girl would even like to do a blowjob altough I love going down her ! As a matter of fact my girl loves making blowjobs and when she's taken a little bit more "roughly".

All that to say communication is key. Talk to your wife. talk about what excites you. Find ways for novelty, staying with the same person. If you guys are out of shape, then get in shape. Me and my girl litteraly lost 120lbs total and I swear it's like I am rediscovering her body lol.

Anyway I hope it helps. Keep the porn out and keep it real. You'll learn to love doing stuff to her. And just her.