Notice: Miscategorizing threads might result in removal of posting privileges. Stop wasting my time.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Alexander, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. Alexander

    Alexander Porn Addict
    Staff Member

    It's amazing how many people don't bother reading the description of a forum section for a few seconds.

    I am going to start "muting" (removing posting privileges) for a period of time for blatantly miscategorized threads that I run into.

    You're wasting the moderators' time. You're wasting my time. This takes away from our ability to help people and improve the website.

    Take a few seconds to empower yourself to post your content in the appropriate section and stop shoving this task onto other people's plates.

    PS: Many of you aren't annoying and I appreciate members who add valuable content to the proper sections. Thank you for helping others and documenting your experiences for other people to benefit from. If you notice somebody posting in the wrong section, please help the mods and hit "report" underneath. Also, feel free to politely or non-politely remind the poster where they should be posting the thread instead.

    PS2: Double mute/suspension time for people who post questions and non-success stories into the "Success Stories" section. That one is so obvious.
     
  2. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

    213
    226
    43
    Most of the posts would be under rebooting and addiction right? I don't post new threads much tho
     
  3. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    Well, try to be patient with people. They might be in too much of a hurry to get help with their addiction to read every instruction. Also a lot of people's brains don't work so well when they first sign up because they are impaired. Taking away people's posting priveleges would definitely alienate and hurt them a lot, limiting their potential for recovery in that time. Fear isn't a healthy way to control people, but I get that you're mad about it.

    An alternative to a thread like this would be something like, "Hi, it's me, Alexander. Please help me keep the forum organized by taking the initiative to remind posters of what sections their posts belong in." This way you are delegating the responsibility. If you do this it will probably be more effective. for example, I will make sure to comment in threads that are out of section, hey, maybe this belongs in journals. Hey, maybe this belongs in off topic discussion or loneliness.

    Other than that you might just want to let go of control. Otherwise you're going to be constantly fuming, and alienating people. Most threads are on-topic and some lines of whats on-topic and whats not might be blurred. New to nofap section is pretty organized but for example in here someone posted a topic about being with a woman during reboot. Well, that could be in dating during reboot, but it could also be more of just a reboot section thing depending how you look at it. Someone else posted a break up thread. Again it could be more in loneliness section but it could be in reboot too since increased emotional feelings of the break up relate to re-booting.

    Micro managing isn't good for you and it's not good for anyone else. This is trait 1 of the Other Laundry List. "
    1. To cover our fear of people and our dread of isolation we tragically become the very authority figures who frighten others and cause them to withdraw."
    So you don't have to be that way. There are more emotionally sober ways to handle things than threatening everyone with alienation. It is even somewhat tyrannical and as a person running a recovery web-site you might not want to settle for that kind of tendency.

    As a user of this site I would say that everything is working just fine. Most people are on-topic and when they're not, I have compassion for them for being new, brain fogged, etc. They might even have mental illness so you have to be really patient with people in recovery. I am making great use of the site and getting all the help I need here. In fact when a thread trickles in that might belong in another section it helps because maybe I wouldn't have checked that section, but it was what I need to hear. If you trust things to develop organically, you will have less stress.

    Anyway I say all this realizing that you are mad and wanting to micro-manage and get things "under control" because I've had a lot of "management experience" and eventually I no longer needed to micro manage or control people especially via intimidation or threats, due to working my recovery process. So you are probably in a process of getting there too.
     
  4. Alexander

    Alexander Porn Addict
    Staff Member

    I'm quite happy with where I am at. Of course there is room to grow throughout a lifetime, but just because I have a different opinion than you, doesn't mean that I am on some sort of journey to become somebody that matches your opinion on this subject, or any other subject. While you brought up some decent points, this part of your message was quite pompous.

    That's a hyperbolic way of phrasing it. It's just a short posting suspension for wasting another person's time and will only be applied for blatant miscategorization, not the grey areas that you described. "Tyrannical" - this is a private website, not a government. This isn't a democracy. There are a long list of forum rules, along with consequences for not following them, and this is just another one of those rules.

    There's a growing issue of entitlement, which has been accelerated by digital addictions.

    In my opinion, the type of "patience" that you describe is actually counter productive and hurting people. There are consequences in this world. Entitlement is running ramped throughout society. Porn addiction is one component of it, but cannot be blamed for the entirety of people's entitlement. Nobody is entitled to our time and I'm not going to artificially reenforce this misconception and spending tons of our resources doing it. People have to take some level of responsibility.

    Dealing with some small consequence now might help them to be more mindful about how their actions impact others.


    .. it appears that way to you because the moderators move threads everyday to the correct sections.


    Don't have the time for that, with such a small team running such a large website.
     
  5. Alexander

    Alexander Porn Addict
    Staff Member

    This is definitely a catch-all in many ways. Just read the descriptions and you'll be fine. There's also a sticky thread at the top of each section that describes what and what doesn't belong there.
     
  6. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

    213
    226
    43
    True. Best of luck to you Alexander! And I hope people start posting correctly
     
    Alexander likes this.
  7. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I think the growing issue of entitlement being on the rise with digital addictions and addicts of various types of media, pretty much sums this thread up in a nice little box and complete with bow...in a single sentence.

    It makes having continuous compassion very difficult when everyone isn't patient and doesn't really care about the answers you have earned, they just want to hear what they want to hear, when they want to hear it.... Which is usually Right now.
    People won't search for the obvious information that's already here, they would rather ask, slash, demand people answer them in their own threads and be disruptive, if they so feel.

    I think it's appropriate at this point, to be blunt about it... From the staff.

    People who sign up for NoFap should start reading the rules and following them appropriately.
    When you go anywhere, you are expected to follow the place you are in appropriately for their code of conduct.
    Just because this is anonymous doesn't excuse everyone of manners and decency of the byline of rules.
    There really aren't that many here.

    I don't think it's wrong to be respectful.
    Especially here.
    It is the base of what NoFap is trying to accomplish, after all.
    Respect.

    I hope you have a good day @Alexander
     
  8. I'm sorry Mr @Alexander , some of us are non-English speakers, this makes us difficult to decide which thread we should choose for our writing because we don't understand much your description of each section.
     
  9. Alexander

    Alexander Porn Addict
    Staff Member

    I understand that it might take some extra time, but using Google Translate or another translation program should allow for you to post in the correct forum section. We also do have future plans to make the platform more available to our international usership.
     
  10. That's great sir! I hope this website can be used in many language just like facebook and twitter.
     
  11. I have noticed a little Eye on a post I’m following. I’m new to nofap so forgive me but I can’t find anywhere where it says what that means. Does it mean it’s being watch b/c it’s not appropriate?
     
  12. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
    Staff Member

    1,268
    2,025
    143
    The eye means you are following or “watching” the post or thread.
     
  13. Sorry Alexander I posted in wrong area wasn’t sure exactly.
     
  14. _Owais_

    _Owais_ Fapstronaut

    Th
    ThX for reminding it to everyone alexander...Actually its really very hard to control this website....Only a few men have to look at the whole part so I appreciate ur work....It might save many lives
     
  15. It’s because most people don’t listen
     
  16. Spot618

    Spot618 Fapstronaut

    88
    82
    18
    What's the link to reset the counter? The one I was sent isn't functioning.
     
  17. _Owais_

    _Owais_ Fapstronaut

    Click on menu tab on the top left corner....You will get it ;)
     
  18. Spot618

    Spot618 Fapstronaut

    88
    82
    18
    Thanks but I did that and do not see any option regarding resetting the coup
     
  19. Spot618

    Spot618 Fapstronaut

    88
    82
    18
  20. _Owais_

    _Owais_ Fapstronaut

    Actually there is no reset button but u have to choose "update day counter" & set ur new time & date after last relapse....just click on menu & pull up the bar u will see update day counter....Hope u will get it this time ;)
     

Share This Page