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Not having a Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Darkstar 22.84, Dec 14, 2015.

  1. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Then you'll never be an adult, not in the real sense of the word. Part of growing up is accepting that love hurts sometimes and that in order to receive love, one must be ready to be totally exposed.
    And yes, that means vulnerable.

    If you can't share yourself, how in seven hells is the lucky lady suppose to get-to-know the real you?

    I for one, am afraid that once I reach happiness with my future wife, she will die.
    Like it's a curse or something, that says good people can't enjoy good things.
    But it's not real.
    It's just my fear of commitment, of being vulnerable and naked next to someone who's in the same state as me.
    Don't be like me. Sharing is caring.
    Share yourself.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2015
    XPiRED likes this.
  2. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Well, for the first time in my life, I have to choose.
    I have 3 girls lined up, sort of.

    Don't know which one to pick though.
    It's tough. Why?
    Because I dated 2 of them, kissed 2, had sex with 1 and I desire no. 3 whom so far, has expressed no feelings towards me at all.
    I'm kinda tired to making up scenarios in my head.

    Actually, I long for a 4th girl. Someone to like me and to actually look for me.
    Someone to care if I'm happy or not.

    Someone who attracts me.
    Fuck. This is hard.
     
  3. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

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    Going off the OP. If you want my take on it, self respect starts at home.

    You have a firm half truth there in that women will leave when they smell a lack of self respect, but women aren't really a affirmation or confirmation of self respect either. There are probably a lot of relationships out there where women are inclined to look after a man with no self respect almost like a mother for reasons of pity/wanting to *fix them*/feeling obliged or bound or just feeling lonely.

    Its not all doom and gloom, there are some men who can gain self respect positively from such a arrangement of being 'looked after' in a sense of the word. But its important to not detail this new found sense of self as a means to a end, in which now you can go chase more ambitious partners, and almost like a defunct parasite betray the person who helped make you like you are, often to just end up via a rejection/life-incident that throws you back into that dark place.

    When it comes to these things. There has to be mutual self and exerted respect for each other in order to maintain balance and let a relationship mature and blossom in a positive way. :)
     
  4. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if there are any women out there willing to put the effort and time to fix me.
    I can barely fix myself. Seem all I do is find those who don't want me. And then, I try to convince them that they should... Plus, there are the bystanders...
    The ones that stare at me and make me want them but I fail to pick them up so...

    Life is kinda crap nowadays...
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
  5. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

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    Life IS tough, i agree, many people get bit on the ass from time to time by life. From my post i wasn't really inclining that you should look to prop yourself up with a female (or platonic/non-platonic male) friend, just that in circumstances its a option you have open to you but keep in mind that you could end up hurting the other person if you're irresponsible with that relationship.

    Gotta pool yourself back together and glue all your shattered pieces with the glue of self-belief. I can't not say im being a hypocrite here, im personally a mess but it gives me strength in trying to help others with their problems. Finding that strength individual to you will help push you atleast in the right direction, but what you actually do is of your own free will to orchestrate.

    A generic option that helps a few people is to improve body image via looking after yourself a little, or joining a gym, but it's up to you. Some people value knowledge and go on high-ed course, some people value art and try to draw/paint their way out of a rut. All to the individual.
     

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