Not feeling good enough for girls in real life

How old are you ? - age range if you don’t want to say exactly. (Teens, 20s, 30’s, etc.)

I understand this to a degree - had similar feelings for a little while in my late teens.

This is not the end of the world. You have a good opportunity because you understand how you look to porn as a stress reliever you have some wisdom on seeing your actions for what they are.

 

Hey James

Women, especially beautiful ones, select the best men that are available to them. Period. This is to make sure that good DNA is being reproduced.

Now: Let me explain this harsh truth. Before you think you have the "wrong" DNA, think again. A big part of your DNA is deactivated and will only be activated once you expose yourself to certain challenges, eg. studying abroad. We call that to "grow as a person". Also you actively modify the composition of your DNA based on your long-term habits.

How do women know who has the right DNA? Men create all sorts of social hierarchies. Talking witty, talking smart, doing sports, being handy, making money, being compassionate, looking good, being good at your job and many many more. It's impossible that you're not good in at least one of those hierarchies. A man however who is good, meaning he takes a high position in the hierarchy, across a multitude of hierarchies gets something which we call confidence!
Women's primal brain responds to confidence in men because it's the best indicator that they're successful along many dimensions in life.

Where self-help books and some motivational speakers are wrong is that you can't just "think" yourself confident. You can't fake it, at least not convincingly. You need to become confident by working on yourself. I bet that you know perfectly well yourself where you're lacking and need improvement.

Turn yourself into the best man you can be. And gradually you will notice that you gain more and more attention of women.

 

Maybe you should just stop looking for 'hot' girls. Maybe you're just aiming too high. I think at some point you have to expand your horizons and realise you can't just aim for one demographic. Not every girl is going to be attracted to you anyway.