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NoFap's Official "Jerkless January 2017"! Continue or start your PMO-free commitment here!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Administrator Account, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. dsr81

    dsr81 Fapstronaut
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    I’m just posting to renew my commitment to no porn and masturbation for 90 days. I’ve gotten close before but never quite over the hump. I was having some of the best sex of my life recently, with a woman I cared about a lot. Unfortunately, that relationship is over for reasons beyond my control, but at least I now have a clear vision of how good it can be. I was completely free of porn during the time we were dating, and I didn’t even really think about it, to be honest. Since we’ve been apart, I’ve relapsed twice, so I need to refocus on stopping the inevitable urges when they do come. I also need to get on with my dating life, since for me that is part of the big picture. But not yet—I want to sit in appreciation of what we had a little bit longer.

    My latest relapse was on January 6th, so I am about 4.5 days in so far. I’d post a tracker in my signature, but I can’t seem to figure that out right now.
     
  2. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    Day 8 and starting to feel a definite heightened sense of arousal! I suppose I have to learn how to cope with these feelings other than by going online! On the one hand, it is wonderful to be coming alive to sexuality in this way, to open up to the reality of those around me. On the other, it is sexually frustrating! Gym for me I think....
     
    Commit999 and Deleted Account like this.
  3. outedskeleton

    outedskeleton Fapstronaut

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    This is day 51 for me. January has been such a busy month, so far, but I still struggle with those old thoughts centered around addiction.
     
    Thomas More and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Well, I didn't actually think I would lapse, but after a day of fighting it over and over, and physically it being bigger than usual (trying not to be explicit), I got out of the shower this evening, and it was just so nicely right there in the mirror, and all it took was a few pumps and it had all the momentum it needed, the rest was out of my hands. (HA)

    I'm NOT restarting my counter. I wasn't fapping to porn or even thinking of anything sexual. That is the point of my journey. It's breaking from the world of sex and porn. This was pretty much just physical.

    HOWEVER, this will not be just a nothing that I will ignore. I learn from this and use this to learn about the temptation. It could have easily led to fantasizing, or to the computer, and that surely would be a lapse. I cannot allow that to happen.

    There is a part of me that is glad it happened, I think that part of me is trying to escape guilt. Maybe it's actually not escaping at all. Maybe it's ok to be glad. After all, I've been using the reasoning that I just need to "release" the pressure. Well, now that it's been released, I'm going to make my mind up to keep going with my period of celibacy and keep on walking down this path.

    I can't wallow about this. And I can't take more punishment than is necessary. My punishment is that I will need to admit it happened, to you all, my addictions group, and to my two accountability partners.

    - This was a release and there is NO excuse to not be successful for the next 75 days
    - It's buckle down time now. No slacking off. Gather all of my material, create a revised plan, and keep working on all the exercises to get down to the bottom of my addictive behaviours and be a good man.

    Am I being fair and honest? Did I lapse?
     
    Thomas More likes this.
  5. TJK17

    TJK17 Fapstronaut

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    New to NoFap. Count me in for January, as well as a total of 90 days no PMO (hard mode) for a full reboot. I am doing this with the goal to stop objectifying women. Mainly I just want to be the best possible version of myself, so that is my primary motivation.
     
    Burner1 and Thomas More like this.
  6. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    CamScott! Don't beat yourself up about this... I think the important thing is what you have said already... to accept that this has happened and to commit again. To keep comitting until we get it right. And the only way I think we can do this is to learn from our experience, which is what it looks like you are trying to do. An important question...what can I do differently in the same situation next time? Keep on going!
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  7. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    Welcome Tyler! Good luck with the journey...
     
    TJK17 likes this.
  8. Thanks TM.
    I have a few answers to that question...
    - I will be putting all my relapse tools (letter to self, safety circles, affirmations, etc) on their own home page on my phone. I learned they were too easy to not be there yesterday when I needed them.
    - I have started playing the Objectify Game. I count the number of times I objectify during a commute to or from work. The lower the number is the goal.

    I have to beat this, I really want to become the man I've always wanted to be.
     
    Thomas More likes this.
  9. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    Those tools sound good! I have to think of some tools myself. I had a terrible night last night. It has been a stressful week, and I felt extremely aroused and felt very tempted. I didn't go online, but M was looking extremely good. I took a cold shower this morning, but what a night! 10 days in and it is getting very diifficult!
     
  10. Let me see if I can find a website with the circles tool on it.
     
  11. Here is one I found on Wikipedia. Nice clear instructions on it.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_circles

    Once I made this (I used PowerPoint) I put a list of my reasons for quitting on the back page. It was a great reminder of why I'm doing this in the first place. Our brains get clever and will prevent you from thinking of thos reasons when you need them the most, so having them is good.

    I then folded it up, and I carry it in my pocket every day. A reminder of my commitment, like my wedding ring.
     
    Thomas More likes this.
  12. kroon007

    kroon007 Fapstronaut

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    Hello i started on this challange but has been relapsing about 2 days ago...what should i do?
     
  13. Check out the post just about this. The Three Circles exercise is a great way to start understanding what our individual healthy and unhealthy activities are.
     
  14. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man! Will check it out...
     
  15. mofman90

    mofman90 New Fapstronaut

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    Day 11 for me, and I'm at home, alone. The urge is at the strongest its been today. I think this is because I know no one is at home, and I'm just lazing about. One thing I find that helps when you have an urge, is to think how disappointed in yourself you'll be once you give in. Is that few moments of pleasure when you O worth the guilt/disappointment you might feel afterwards. You've managed to go this far, why waste all that effort for a moment of pleasure.
     
    Burner1 and Deleted Account like this.
  16. It's About TIme

    It's About TIme Fapstronaut

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    I'm here, and it's day one for me
     
  17. Strive

    Strive Fapstronaut

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    I am going to be PMO free for next 30 days starting from today.
     
    Thomas More likes this.
  18. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Day 15, getting a bit tough today, but still hanging in there
     
    Thomas More likes this.
  19. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    Confession time! I didn't relapse, but I think I need to reset my counter to day 1. I was doing this challenge on hard mode, and I wanted to break the connection my brain has with dopamine and stress. Whenever I am stressed I run to masturbation and porn to relax, which is crazy. So yesterday I masturbated, first time in 10 days. By my standards, 10 days is quite good. But I want to learn how to cope with stress without this. Thanks to you, CamScott, I got that Three Circle challenge you listed above here. I drew my three circles and will keep this paper on hand to remind myself of the negative activities that lead to unhealthy habits. I didn't exercise this week, and I put myself under too much pressure to get tasks done. I failed to meditate as well and find a peaceful space to reflect. Well, I will get up, dust myself off, and try again. Let's see if I can get past 10 days this time!
     
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  20. Thomas More

    Thomas More Fapstronaut

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    15 days is awesome. Hang in there!
     

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