NoFap, PE and real sex

I had no PE issues until my current girlfriend, which is sort of what put me over the edge to quit PMO and join Nofap. It's been about 5 years with PE with my girlfriend. During a break in our relationship I had other sexual partners during that time with no PE problems.

I recently told my gf about my reboot, and I'm changing it to a 90 day hard mode (no O) reboot. I'll keep pleasuring her, and maybe try Karezza, but I'm hoping that without any possibility of having to perform, my mind will forget the specific problem I've been ahving with this one sexual partner (and love of my life).

 

Hey!

I've just been searching for this kind of forum! Thanks!
I'm suffering from PE all my life. My history with porn starts at 11 yrs with my father's magazines, lost my virginity at 19. I have a girlfriend now for 5 yrs, still have PE's. Conditioning my brain with porn nearly 20 yrs got to be the reason. I've tried kegel, didn't work out well. There was a period when I had more sexual partners and no PE.

I started my 90 days challenge 10 days ago, really hope that's gonna work out and solve my problem.

 

I have similar problem . Suffered from pe and of course pmo for to long. Anyway im at 27 days into this and doing great . At either 80 or more than 100 days my lady is going to find out how i got better im sure hoping .
Im hoping the abstinence will desensitize every one so i last as long as i want.
Wish me luck as im really hoping everyone here improves there life greatly from their own NoFap journey.

 

I agree with you.
In theory PMO senzitize the penis and that can cause PE. If you decide to do a nofap challenge one of the results will be to desensitize your nerves, it won't get the stimulus of porn. And if it desenzitized maybe heal the PE.

 

Are you telling your girlfriend about your hard reboot?

 

Yes she knows. Its not a problem for her. She is fine with it for now.

 

Are you in a hard reboot? What do you do for her pleasure? My girlfriend didn't seem to understand whether she could touch me or not.

 

I work on something all the time from 7 am sometimes till 9pm. Regular 40 hour job. Fix friends car. Working around the house i own 2 recliners havent even sit in one for more than 5 minutes in years. Go from doing stuff to shower to bed most days. Unless its weekends. Go oncall for afterhours emergencies.
My hobby is fixing things i suppose

 

Wanted to add to this thread...

I discovered I had PE at the age of 25. May have had it before then though.

I lost my virginity when I was 17 (lasted awhile.... did not even finish), sex again at 20 but did not really get it up with the girl, and then did not have sex again till 25 when I officially got a girlfriend. I was not able to last long with her. Practically every session I had with her from there resulted in me finishing quickly (1 - 6 minutes) unless I took drugs. Yes!! I resorted to buying drugs online to last longer. There were maybe two times I could think of where I for some reason (never figured it out) lasted long. Finally, before I turned 31 (the age I am now), I hooked up with a co-worker. I was on day 40 exactly of my reboot. I didn't really penetrate her as I was too drunk and not really in the mood technically... Maybe it was a flatline period?? Who knows. Anyways, I barely got a bit into her and I also received oral sex from her. Eventually I ended finishing the job with my hands and this took longer than usual. I think she also used her hands for a little while also. Usually, if a girl used her hands and/or I used my hands while erect, I would finish very quickly. This was not the case. It took about 2 minutes of me really going at it and "focusing" on trying to finish to finish. I think if we actually had penetrative sex I would of lasted pretty long.

I'm now on day 106 of my reboot. THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! This is my longest streak. Before this (struggled with porn since the age of maybe 14), the farthest I went was 64 days with peeking at P here and there without MO to it.

PE is a very personal problem for me... it caused a lot of probs with my ex. She's explained to me in the past that she thought the sex we've had could be better. She would say things like... "we should work on getting it right." Then, about a year and a half ago (while we were separated) she slept with someone else. What did I do? Well... when I found out I asked her for the details. She told me what they did. It really hurt me. She did sexual things with him that she never did with me. She also expressed herself in a freakier way with him. Also, she experienced more pleasure with him (as far as I can tell from her explanation). As I type this I feel terrible..... Truly, this has hurt me A LOT and I've been trying to deal with this for over a year now. PE played a pretty good part in all of this. Just like @Kappa 123 explained earlier, sex wasn't fun... It was simply a chore trying not to finish too soon. I could never just focus on the sex. Never could focus on pleasing her or myself. It was always about lasting long first and pleasure second. Also, imagine timing things purposefully just because you took drugs. Imagine trying to stall the sex because you just took a pill 20 minutes ago and you needed at least an hour for it to kick in. Then experiencing the terrible side effects they gave. PE definitely impacted things. Accompanied with this was unwillingness to try new things (giving her oral sex, trying different positions, foreplay, roleplay, dirty talk etc...). I didn't try new things (some "things" I found out she did with the other guy) and facing PE played a huge part in this.

Funny thing is.... Like a freaking movie.... Just as I give up on PMO she's explained that her feelings she had for me truly have changed and I told her I was with another girl. We have not spoken in weeks. She's also said/done things that is showing she's moving on. I tried to give up PMO for YEARS while with her and the moment I truly get a hold of the addiction things fall apart. Like a freaking movie. Not sure if we'll have sex again. I fear I'll never have a chance to please her and fix years of sexual failings. Maybe we will met in the future and make love??? Who knows..... One thing I do know is I'm staying away from PMO. I will not let it impact sexual relations I have with other girls or with my ex if we ever are intimate again in the future.

By the way, I know this is about PE, but I truly feel PMO really impacted my ability to emotionally be involved with her and develop my love too.

Back to the PE itself, I plan on "testing" my stamina after day 130 with a fleshlight (fake vagina). Why? I want to give my neurological system a strong reset before starting to test things out. I probably will only test things twice a week. There are exercises out there that's supposed to assist with PE. So, I want to carry out these exercises to see if they help and use the fleshlight a few times a week to see if there is improvement.

Who knows?? Maybe I will not have to even do exercises... Maybe I'm truly changed?? We'll see in about three weeks if that's the case.

I promise to update this thread with my fleshlight test once I give it it a try.

 

Wow thats tough...

It is my 19 day and I've experienced some change while having sex with my grilfriend. I have a more reliable hard on and maybe it lasts a little bit longer. It is really get me going and give a new swing in my reboot.

 

It's "tough"... Yes it is.

But, I'm trying to make the most of my life I have remaining. There are PLENTY of possibilities to improve many areas of my life. I'm a fairly good looking guy if I was to be honest with myself. I may not have the body I want (yet). However, I have a face that many females deem attractive. I know I have much more life to live. There will be more chances to have a fulfilling sex life... I'm sure of it! My 30s just started... I can turn things around if I make a STRONG effort. It's up to me to take risks and invite sex into my life. For so long I have not been flirting with girls or taking chances. I can change that.... and also put my self in better opportunities for sexual experiences to happen.

This year I'd like to start turning things around... I plan on getting into shape (REALLY want this to happen), staying away from PMO, growing my business (which should allow me to quit my job and have much more spare time), meet new people, and have better sex/relations with women. Also, there are personal projects to take on like performing well in acting class (perhaps start auditioning), attending arts/craft classes (may wanna start participating on Etsy), take salsa classes, go to salsa dances, travel to other countries, and do some outdoor activities.

I refuse to simply let this define my movement forward. It's something I regret but it could always be worse. And.... we all fall short somewhere in life. This could be a lesson learned and let it fuel me to improve my life moving forward.

All this is not possible without staying away from PMO. It's also not possible without changing my daily habits and solid, consistent effort.

I'd love to come on here and try to help others have a better life all around. I see so many people on here hurt as a result of their addiction. Things CAN GET SCREWED UP..... but you have soooooo much life to live and make up for the losses. I plan to do just that !!!

 

This thread is exactly what I was looking for!! I have struggled on and off with PE and I now finally realize PMO has caused it... I'm so confused as to what I should do. I started PMO very young and have had PE intermittently depending on wich girlfriend (wich is strange in my opinion, my ex I had zero problems, she could even go on top, but with my wife that's not even a question. Not sure if it's just that my PMO has gotten much worst since my ex or if it's in my head)

I kept PMO and edging thinking it would make my PE better and it did for some time but now it's too late and nothing I do can make it better I have zero control. Unless I use those numbing condoms but even those sometimes dont work. Obviously this is due to conditioning my brain to O as fast as possible when I PMO...

Ive done several reboots some up to 60 days and when I would have sex with my wife it was still an issue for me (she claims it doesn't bother her, I get her to O beforehand most of the time). So I'm kinda starting to wonder if a reboot will ever help my PE, does anyone here have any advice?

Do I just do nofap and see where that takes me and THEN deal with the PE seperatly(edging/start and stop/kegals etc)? Or will a complete reboot fix My PE? Anyone out here have a similar situation?

Thanks!

 

You and me included are probaly just screwed. Maybe just quitting altogether is answer

 

I doubt quitting will fix anythig. My apologies if that's what my post seemed to imply. I'm just looking for some advise is all. Stopping PMO is a victory in itself but I'm just waiting to see if il see results once I'm "better". From what I can tell when I go on a 30/60 day reboot and then have sex again I have 0 stamina and no way to train it(PMO/MO) then I get discouraged and get right back on the wagon.

 

Hey, about the fleshlight thing: everybody I've chat with warns me not to use the fleshlight, it is a slippery sloap they say and might lead to relapse.