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NoFap makes me PE and I feel so depressed because of it

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deco, Aug 21, 2018.

  1. Deco

    Deco Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I'm at day 28 in this beautiful journey. I've noticed a lot of improvements in myself lately but I'm not going to talk about how NoFap is making me feel better.

    I have a girlfriend, we have sex roughly 1 time per week (we don't live togheter and we are not often home alone, plus she doesn't have a strong libido, that's one of the reasons I've started NoFap) and before NoFap I used to last so long that a lot of times I couldn't even cum (another reason for why I've decided to start this journey). Now I have the opposite problem, and it's killing the confidence that I'm building up with Nofap.

    Since I've started, I've been lasting roughly 2 minutes, both with foreplay and sex. Last time we had sex was like 2 weeks ago, but today as soon as she touched the tip with her lips to give me a blowjob I came. I literally lasted 3 seconds. I could've continued right after, but my confidence was so destroyed that I just didn't want to do anything. It's not as bad as it sounds, both my body and my mind were feeling good, at least 100x better then after fapping or after having sex while having a masturbation habit, but I had literally 0 confidence in myself.

    Bewere that I've never fapped before having sex, even if I fapped 1 or 2 days before the I would still last really long.

    What should I do? Have you had a similar experience caused by nofap? Will it get better with time? I know my girlfriend could make me cum and then right after we could have sex, but what if at some point my relationship goes wrong? I don't think many girls would understand (expecially in a one night stand). I don't want to quit nofap, but I feel like this is the only solution.

    Sorry for my english by the way.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2018
  2. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    Are you having doubts about your relationship? If not, why worry so much about it going wrong? Sure it's not a justification to fap? PMO addiction is very sly, beware.

    Also, I'd recommend against one night stands, they're a great way to get STDs and tend to fuck up your mental health.

    If the issue is premature ejaculation, I think you suggested the right solution, ejaculate once during foreplay and then you can probably last longer during sex.
     
    Fallensoldier1 and horny nerd like this.
  3. At this point it's probably very sensitive since you're not doing anything yourself and between you both it's once a week or two.
    Have you told her everything and been open? Have you grown closer and connected on a deeper level? I'm only asking because it may be possible her libido isn't matching yours yet and those things can help.
    I'm not saying always. Just a thought.
     
  4. Deco

    Deco Fapstronaut

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    I am not having any doubts, but I've always feared to suffer from PE, since my first time fapping (maybe 10 years ago). I felt so good after my first time having sex because I bad the confirmation that I didn't suffer from it. Now that I do, I really feel like shit. Even if my girl is supportive and doesn't care about it, I died inside today. I felt like failing. Really I can't describe how I feel and how I was feeling. I don't think it's just an excuse to masturbate, it's the last thing I want to do right now, these last day I felt like I had enough power to do anything.

    We have been together for the past 2 and a half years, I've told her about NoFap when I was on day 0. Our libido isn't matching because of the dumbass that I am, watching porn caused me to crave sex so much that was my main thought all day. This caused her to have extremely weak libido, and this is changing since nofap, my libido getting weaker and hers is getting stronger. By the way we are like best friends, she knows how I feel about my new PE and she is 100% supportive. But she too said to stop nofap if something happens between us, so that I can last like a normal person and find another girl.
     
    Fallensoldier1 likes this.
  5. It sounds like you are in a great situation. At this point I wouldn't worry about what if we aren't together in the future. No one knows the future. Focus on her and yourself. Stick with what you are doing and it will even out on the good side. Enjoy this time and don't stress. You have been working hard on this and she has been by your side. Enjoy and best wishes to you both.
     
    horny nerd likes this.
  6. Deco

    Deco Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much! We both agreed that I should continue on this journey until day 90, than if my PE doesn't get better I'll go talk to an urologist and if that doesn't solve the situation I'll think of fapping again (maybe without porn).
     
  7. Any time brother. And for what it is worth there are times now when I am a bit fast as well.
     
  8. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    Definitely without porn, Porn is the real evil here.
     
    Gogohee and kropo82 like this.
  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    i know what you're talking about. That's the challenge you have to accept but trust me, it totally worths
     
  10. @Deco
    I HAVE YOUR ANSWER

    I learned a shit ton of good info on this in a dating program that I paid for. I attest to it and it has worked for me. I cant put the video here, so I will transcribe it for you and everyone else that wants to get rid of PE.

    Trigger warning?..

    First, most guys don't know this, but you are in complete control of when you are going to cum. The faster you thrust, the faster you will cum. Positions like doggy and missionary where you are doing most of the work will make you cum faster.

    Positions where she is doing the work will make you cum slower.

    You just need to be aware of when you are "heating up", or when that tension is building inside of you. That way when it gets to a certain point, you simply slow down or stop completely before you pass the threshold where there is no turning back and you are going to cum. So just be aware of your threshold and SLOW DOWN your thrusting and let yourself cool down so you can last as long as you want.

    Also if you are stationary, and she is doing all the work and her body is the one that is moving, you will last a lot longer. Like in doggy, you can have her body be the one that is moving. Just move her body until she gets the idea and does it on her own. Or have her in a position where she is doing all the work and you are not moving.

    Also another thing. While you are fucking her, you have COMPLETE PERMISSION to just stop fucking her and do something else. Like if 6 minutes in you feel like you are going to cum already and you want it to last like an hour, all you have to do is just pull out. Then you can like passionately make out with her or something for a bit while you "cool down" You could also finger her or tell her to do something for a couple of minutes, then once you are good to go again, you can resume having sex.

    That's it. This worked for me and it will work for you. Let me know if you would like to clarify something.

    Taken From: Jason Capital's 18 Moves

    Another thing that might help is..
    KEGELS.

    Info below in this webmd link....
    https://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/kegel-exercises-treating-male-urinary-incontinence




    .
     
  11. Deco

    Deco Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your suggestions! I guess that I've always suffered from PE, but it started showing now that I'm fighting my addiction
     
  12. @Deco PE isn't like a disorder imo. Its something that I think everyone has... or has the potential to have. I dont think it's a bad thing it just depends on what you want. If someone is with a girl that they are really attracted to they are going to have the tendency to cum easier. it can happen to anyone if they dont know how to control it and have no experience/practice trying to control it. You can control when you cum though just by doing the things I mentioned in the earlier post.
     
  13. This. Just make sure you keep her happy while you're getting ready for your round 2.
     
  14. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    I had this same issue. Came too fast inside a girl. I talked to my urologist and he said to jack off one hour before sex and avoid thrusting too fast. Slow down during the sex.
     
  15. SamFZ

    SamFZ Fapstronaut

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    Man, what I wouldn't give for that! I take forever when with a partner. My wife has only made me cum like 5 times in the 7 and a half years we've been together. To cum from a bj would be amazing, even if it took seconds. Heh.

    But obviously there's the issue of satisfying your partner as well. I think the downside to all this is that potential to be that hyper sensitive. Personally my reboot isn't a "forever" one for this reason. I want to abstain for a limited time (I've not set a specific goal, otherwise I'll end up just counting the minutes till that day and then jumping back into old habits) and then having a much less frequent, much more healthy relationship with masturbation and sex, finding that balance.

    IMO after rebooting for long enough we should be able to become more sensitive down there again, and we can then change our jerk off techniques to be softer and closer to what a sex partner would do, and ignore porn. My intent is to find that balance.
     

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