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NoFap has helped me through one of the hardest times in my life recently

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by BlueBalls, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. BlueBalls

    BlueBalls Fapstronaut

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    I'll start by saying I just outright quit fapping around December 2018, about the time I started talking a girl I met - online. We went on 4 dates in January and since we hit it off so well, we slept together on the 4th date after she invited me over to hers to "watch movies and eat pizza"

    During this whole time I stuck to NoFap, (not being unfamiliar to long stints), and I'm certain it was the energy and charisma it gave me that played a HUGE part towards my success thoughout the relationship. It taught me patience, not responding to every message straight away, not even texting the girl first but waiting 1,2 3 days, not having sex on mind 24/7.

    Anyway this girl gave me the cold shoulder the very next day after sleeping with her :( I literally asked her right before fucking her "please I don't want us to do this if you think it seems rushed" .... "no totally, we're not rushing" she says. It wasn't the best sex I've ever had but it's the feelings I have for her. She freaked out and did a complete 360 and I'm not even sure if we're broken up or not because of how inconsistent she is with talking about her feelings. Women huh?

    Anyway I've been feeling like complete shit for the past week, getting into work late, not eating properly etc. I relapsed twice the following day after, but before the third relapse, before coming so close to slipping into that inescapable void of no return I know so well, that emptiness that loves nothing more than to take me and hold me in its numb embrace and make me its zombie puppet - something in me persevered and I said, "FUCK THIS I WON'T BE YOUR SLAVE ANYMORE! IF I CAN FIGHT YOU AT MY LOWEST THEN I HAVE ALREADY WON."

    So I persevered. When you're in love it's hard to think straight, but when you've had your heart torn out and you're still in love, well few things compare to that type of sadness, and yet the one consolation I have is looking back on my achievement and being proud of the fact that I'm still achieving - no relapses since and I don't intend to either. I dread to think what kind of state I'd be in if I succumbed to old habits, and the perspective it has given me is invaluable.

    What I'm saying is that this is the first time when NoFap has proven to be a shining light (when i'm at my very worst) guiding me along a road which is as of this time, very dark. So no matter how shit your life gets, don't ever give up.

    "When you're going through hell, keep going"
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
  2. Coolbuddy7

    Coolbuddy7 Fapstronaut

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    Really Cool ! That, was so good ! Yeah, I am going to be like that too ! Thanks for such an enlightenment !
     
  3. BlueBalls

    BlueBalls Fapstronaut

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    Was that meant to be sarcastic?
     
  4. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    That sounds like sincere reinforcement for you.

    So... i don't think so.

    And in regards to your reaction... even though you relapsed, you still saw how it would have become worse and stopped. That takes a lot of emotional strengh, to fight something like that.

    And with the girl... Most girls feel pushed into the corner if you tell them about your feelings too early. Even if it's hard, it's mostly better to appear a bit more emotionally distant then you actually might be. Unless that girl is already in love with you, any early feelings you show her is more likely to push her away, since you appear needy and attached without her having an emotional investment into you.

    And in regards of being in love and what that shit does to us... i know exactly what you mean. Last time that happened to me, i changed character and couldn't even recognize myself anymore, i am really happy that i learned from that. Everything becomes more difficult in Life and you are WAY more prone to relapsing.
    That is how powerful those emotions are. No matter how strong we normally are, being love-sick can change our personality, at least for a short period of time.

    It's so good that you wrote in here, just to release the emotions.

    You are already on the right path, you knew that you had to stop porn and i think you have it in you to fight this in the future as well.

    Having been love-sick just 2 months ago and still having small flashbacks, i know how you feel and sincerly wish you all the best for your recovery.
     
    BlueBalls likes this.
  5. BlueBalls

    BlueBalls Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your words of reassurance, and wisdom. I only wish I could have seen this earlier and hope it's not too late to salvage her. The funny thing is I've been in this exact same position twice before, it was hard back then, but I wasn't on NoFap. It's good to know that I'm not alone, and I wish to you all the good that comes from this journey
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  6. Coolbuddy7

    Coolbuddy7 Fapstronaut

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    No, not at all. I wasn't being sarcastic a bit. I was so encouraged with that, So I felt that it was good and that it needed to be shared with. So I said it was good. It's actually helped me ( The fighting stronger with oneself ) is really good.
    Edit : And, I have had thoughts like that for like 4 to 5 times already today, but when I think of what you said, I am really able to stop and make a clear decision for myself ! Really awesome Quote !!

    Thanks , yeah it is ! ;)
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2019
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  7. BlueBalls

    BlueBalls Fapstronaut

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    Apologies then for being on the defensive. Just going through a rough time at the moment, I'm happy it was an inspiration to you :)
     
  8. Oh yeah. Gut wrenching.

    Sounds like overall though, you've managed to turn the experience into a net benefit for yourself- a chance to develop strength. Inspirational- well done.

    I've found that in times like this, understanding basic Buddhist philosophy and doing basic meditation helps- it still sucks big time, but it helps.

    Where is your profile picture from by the way? I like it.

    keep fighting
     
    BlueBalls likes this.
  9. Coolbuddy7

    Coolbuddy7 Fapstronaut

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    Nah ! It's allright ! I wish you good luck on getting back to be great again !
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019
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  10. Coolbuddy7

    Coolbuddy7 Fapstronaut

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    Actually I've copied it ,and I see it whenever I feel like giving in ,and this is actually working very well for me !
    I must thank you so much, I don't know why, but I feel that it's a very good verse, you know a powerful one. Atleast that's how I feel. Good Luck !
     

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  11. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_upside_down:

    The more you crave her, the less likely you will probably get her : )

    Enjoy your life and become the best version you can be.
    Work out, Learn, be virtuous, be honest, take cold showers, practice nofap.
    Become a humble King.

    Wamen will follow automatically once you get there.
    But you have to provide value first. Not money necessarely, but value. Character, a strong personality, yada yada yada...:emoji_grin:
     
    CoolBuddy7 likes this.

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