NO PMO & Abstinent Relationship

Day 9 done praise God! I started looking through pics of my gf on my flight today.

 

Day 10 done praise God. Ignored all women arouns me. Focused on being faithful to my gf.

 

Day 11 done thank God. Started to fantasize about being married to my gf, especially a specific sexual scenario. I did an ok job of using my sword and getting my mind off of it. She even reminded me herself.

 

Day 12 done thank God. I did plenty of shielding my eyes today. Went to the mall and gave no second or prolonged glances to any women there. I did start to fantasize about my gf. Even thought about sending her pics of myself in my skivvies, but did not. She stopped me from thinking about her naked tonight. I need to do a better job of handing tomorrow off to God. I didn’t drink tonight or this week to make sure i get the prayer time in, which I’ve done tonight. He is the only way to new life.

 

Back to Zero. Ay yi yi.

 

Ghost,

Thank you so so much for the feedback. It’s a crazy game we’re playing.. this hard mode thing. We are very lustful for eachother and also committed to doing God’s will. God brought us together so it makes sense to keep following Him. He rewards us for it! And yeah we are both honest with eachother, and she knows all about my history of PMO as well. God willing the P will remain history.

The good news is there is hope in sight.. light at the end of the tunnel.. i am picking up a shiny rock on Friday and hopefully proposing on Saturday. It’s pretty well planned out and i am SO EXCITED TO MARRY THIS GIRL OF MY DREAMS.

Sorry for the yelling.

Anyways, we may fail our hard mode/ abstinence challenge, but atleast we know we are doing everything possible to follow God. If we get to our wedding night and we have fooled around a few times, then we will atleast be able to say we tried.

 

Day 2 in the bag, praise God. Went to my 12 step meeting and we worked on step 11. This is deficating time to prayer. To me prayer before bed is the most important way i stay on track with sexual integrity. I had the chance to confess recent masturbation. It is incredible to have men i can be honest with. The closer i get to marrying my gf the harder it is not to lust and MO thinking about her. Just need to hold my ground and follow God.

 

Day 3 in the bag. Going hornier for my gf by the minute. Not good. Praying for conviction and motivation.

 

Day 5 in the bag thank God. Proposing tomorrow!

 

Ghost,

Digging your comments. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, acceptinf hardship as a pathway to peace.

I think i have been overlooking the ‘one day at a time’ model. We’re on such shaky ground sexually that I think one day at a time is the best approach.

Been reading the book ‘Love and Respect’ and it talks a lot about lovinf her like Christ loved the church. So great advice. I need to remember that especially in our conflicts.

This is my focus as of this second: i do NOT have the willpower and drive to not fall into sexual temptation with her. I cannot make my self unwilling. I can’t. The only chance i have is to completely surrender myself to God and say ‘God I cannot do this on my own.’ Because i cannot.

Daily prayer has been a big part of my recovery from PMO and certainly is crucial to sexual purity with her as well. As we got engaged today (WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!) we agreed that we would pray together every morning even remotely. I think we can start by surrendering to God. Also think this will be a good habit going into marriage.

 

Ghost,
Motivation is really lacking. Did you say you had a friend who stayed abstinent?

 

I think by the grace of God i am less addicted to MO now than ever before. Prayer every night means given my day to God.

 

Day 3 down. Easy not to fool around with my gf when I’m not with her. Avoiding lust=avoiding pmo

 

Day 5 down. Make good relational progress with my fiancé. Dunno how we’re going to avoid sexual temptation this weekend. Praying that God takes that temptation away.

 

Day 7 down. Amazing the power of God. Spent the whole weekend with gf influding some alone time. Didn’t feel tempted to make a move or get handsy most of the time. That is simply an answer to prayer. God is good.

 

Day 8 down. Nothing is more effective than getting on my knees every night before bed. I ask God for help and He gives it to me. If I can get to 90 days in hard mode I’m sure i can go most all of marriage without masturbating.