Nice to meet you all

Good day brothers,

Today saw my relapse, , at the 3 week mark and so I decided to get more actively involved with the community to share my story, find strength among us, and maybe give back if I can.

I started my rebooting journey after I came across nofap, but have not yet put in the time to properly read the material on strategies, tips etc., wanted to jump right on the PM program. I intend now to go through the helpful material to be better prepared.

I have been using porn since maybe 17 (now I'm 35) and more so when I'm dealing with anxiety. On September I will start on a new job which will require frequent flying internationally. I have also in the past worked for five years in a frequent flyer position and unfortunately developed a fear for flying despite doing it so often.

It's many aspects of business travel that elevate my anxiety, not just the airplane part and have found an outlet in porn, either while there (hotel etc.) or at home during the build up of an imminent trip. Also when I would return home I would give myself a present by visiting a massage parlor which I have stopped doing for 3 years now.

I know I need to address the anxiety issues related to my work and my relationship, which I have been doing by going to therapy for some years.

Regarding porn, it has caused me a great deal of misery. It has both been a temporary release for anxiety but has also added to it. Had I gone out for a walk or run when I got the urge it would have worked wonders both at home and abroad. Especially when I do this away, I just feel depressed afterwards in my hotel room and my anxiety rises because I feel my confidence took a hit and it will show tomorrow at the client meeting etc.

Anyway just some scrambled thoughts and happy to have found you guys and looking forwarding to a change towards more confidence, health and happiness.

Cheers

 

Those are really helpful ideas Septimus, thanks, I was also thinking that I should plan and go see some places where I stay during travel, even if it's past admission time in the evening.

Also what you said about the rules, I sometimes have exactly that mentality. I would be like "hey I just got off an 8 hour flight, dealt with all the trip anxieties (airport security, occasional turbulence etc), I surely am entitled to some slack and 'quality time' with my laptop" and then I'd be worse off.

 

Thanks for having me D.J. I first plan on reading through the great material that some of you have put together and eventually let my wonderful girlfriend in on my struggle which is something I'm scared of doing.