Nice girl at gym

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by tomandjerry, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    So I joined a new gym. I met one of the gym trainers. I personally find her really attractive...so i spoke to her. Unfortunately it seems that she is not so interested in me. She said hi once. Otherwise i keep approaching her - she is friendly but I have to force the convo. Can you advise me about rejection/no interest from a girl you like?
    Just trying to let it go and be open to meeting other girls...
     
    prettyboichad likes this.
  2. That's a big red flag forced convo is NEVER GOOD move on, women that like you make it easy to talk to them . You can always ask her out but it doesn't look good
     
    YellowPig and prettyboichad like this.
  3. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    I decided that I am going to change my focus at the gym...to actually working out....also i thought to myself. Even if that girl agrees to give an erotic massage it will be similar to an escort/maseuse who are silent as a doll. I would rather not hurt her feelings
     
    prettyboichad likes this.
  4. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    There is this idea that has been popularized by movies and dating coaches that interacting with woman is like speaking a secret language.
    We feel awkward in these situations so we try to gather data below the radar to see if it is safe to make the move.
    You do not need to be body language expert or know any secrets, come up to her and genuinely talk.
    You conversation is very simple and made of following components
    - You say hi and introduce yourself (Normal human behaviour)
    - You tell her you find her beautiful (Show her you are interested in her)
    - Ask if she wants to do something together, coffe, workout, anything reasonable
    - Be positive about her response no matter what it is, and close on positive note and depart.

    Your goal is not to get a date, your goal is to make a friend if it does not turn in to a date. So once you know her name act like someone who knows her now. Say hi Jessica if you pass her in the hallway.
    If she said no not interested - its simple, you can remove the pressure of guessing and interact with her as someone you met do not force your initial rejection on yourself and try to avoid that person.

    It is very simple imagine someone you do not know approaches you and offers to go out, if you are interested you will say yes or show interest, if you are not interested at the moment or at all - you make that clear.
    Situation is resolved.

    Yes it takes balls, and yes you will be rejected and yes it feels like shit when you are rejected. So talk to her about how difficult it was to come up and she will most likely support you on that and be nice.

    stop overthinking and guessing, go and ask.
     
  5. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice. I was fantasising of taking this girl out, getting erotic massages/sex, but not having her as a true gf who I would settle down with. I.e. a kind of mistress.

    I was thinking to myself how she would feel if we had a few dates, then the erotic massages, but then only to break up when I need to move onto a realistic partner. Its not fair to get the goodies without treating her respectfully, and I also wont feel as close. I'm starting to realise that sex is not about a girl "looking hot" but more about the warm, loving relationship. Of course the porn industry cant sell love so they show fantasies.
     
    Butterfly1988 likes this.

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