Next stage of life

I've spent most of the summer in a reboot. My current length is 28 days but really Ive been been PM0 free 75 out of the last 80 days. I Other than feeling backed up at time I don't miss the MO and certainly not the P. I do miss cleaning out the pipes as I said before.

As I've done this combined reboot I've asked myself one central question. What next? I figure I'll reboot till at least December (even I do relapse I just reset the counter) that would be me at 90 days if I don't relapse always. I've dated since my teenage years, had two long terms relationships, had good sexual experiences ( not a virgin but only have penial vaginal sex in a committed relationships) outside on penetrative intercourse, etc.

I live in Statue of Liberty land ( the city where is resides is about 50 miles away from me) and dating in this part of the country comes with high expectations. Women here expect a lot from men and I'm that's totally fine by me. The women I have dated or been in relationships with were smart, pretty, and assertive with good careers. I'm attracted to that type of woman not the meek types. Here is my dilemma.

I'd like to get married. I'm the marrying type. The problem is the process of finding that person is exhausting and I'm asking myself is it worth it? My values are such that I truly believe a committed monogamous marriage based on love and acceptance should be the end result of the dating process. The thought of being alone the rest of my life isn't appealing nor am I built to consider bed hoping and random sex in line with my values. I'm 40 and really don't want kids which I know is a turn off but I would marry a single mom if that was the person I truly the person meant for me. Just looking for people's thoughts

 

Well I just relapsed after the post. I was very comfortable and had to clean the pipes. Already reset the counter. Have to watch the chaser effect now. My reboots have been 7, 14, 26, and now 28 days which 1 day in between each of them. My morning erectlons are like granite and last pretty long as long as get right back in line I'll be fine.

I've tried all different ways. Online, A Professional Matchmaker (Good success but not didn't end up in marraige), volunteer groups, etc. My workplace is much older than me and most of them are married and dating a co worker gets complicated and if it goes bad it goes real bad. I've seen it happen to a lot of my co workers

I'm kind of a dichotomy. I do not attend Mass much (I'm Catholic and have many problems with the church as an institution even a local levels) but I am a man of faith. I pray daily (on my knees). I also do not drink, smoke, have never even tried an illegal drug, and try not to use bad language. I love to cook and I like sports but I'm not obsessed either with them. I have no piercings or body ink. I find churchgoers a little too pompous and preachy. I also have more progessive views than many of them.

It's a laborious process.

 

I really just want somebody to love me for me.