Newly married life ruined due to PIED

The short of it is that around 90 days seems to be a solid length of time to start to see deeper changes and healing from the damage of PMO. I think it is even recommended in this period to avoid sex with your partner so you can really learn how to break turning to O for self pleasure and emotional management.

I believe there are a few journals on here of married couples that partnered together for the reboot and had a serious increase in long-term intimacy and quality of life through the process.

So that might be a good area of focus to start in on. And the hope is that with time away from PMO you will be able to see more clearly the damage and ugliness of PMO on your life which brain mechanisms of addiction suppress when they are active.

Already you've started to see through the illusion and realize there is a toll in your quality of life and your marriage. So major props for that. The community is happy to have you. It's a tough journey at times but well worth the hardship and you'll have great support from a lot of people here along the way.

 

Same problem, but I am married since 10 years I can say the worst time in my life

 

I really liked Border's post. I suffered from PIED for awhile before seeking help. I masked my problem with ED pills, but eventually, cleansing my brain from porn was the best thing that ever happened to me. I shared my issue with my wife and she was very supportive. In fact, I still consider her my number one fan. It took many attempts, but eventually I was able to have sex without pills. I won't kid you, it has been one of the hardest challenges I've ever made, but it's been worth every it. For a while, I felt: I want to change, but PMO felt too good to change. The more I did it, the deeper the climb out. By the Grace of God I'm a better man. A better husband and a better father. Ask your wife to reboot and support you through this journey. You won't regret it.

 

Do you guys experience probelm to talk to people like you don’t have confidence???

 

Quit porn, if you can. This is a severe behavioral compulsion we have. You aren't addicted to the digusting shit you look at, you're addicted to the thrill of the chase and the hunt and the search of finding that shit. I've quit virtually every other vice I have, yet I cannot shake porn. There is something extremely debilitating when it comes to this disease, I am more or less neutered now- zero passion or gusto. Try to always keep this anger and this porn-sadness in the back of your mind, it may help in preventing further porn-seeking behavior.

Seems like I often forget about my pain and sorrow in the evening and immediately fall back into old habits. Keep the shitty feeling on the back burner as a constant reminder of how this sickness makes you feel, a sort of sorrow meditation. Never forget, or you may fool yourself.

 

Did you have sex before marriage

 

What a nightmare! I think to get through this will require more support than single guys like myself can provide. So, say to post this information again in the Rebooting in a Relationship forum. Others in your situation can have the most empathy.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/rebooting-in-a-relationship.14/

 

Goodluck man

 

That is utterly, utterly terrifying. I've been using for last 16 years and finding my wife and getting married is my #1 goal.

While perhaps not quite to your degree, I also read a lot of cuckold erotica, and what you described is literally the sum of all of my fears.

This thing is pure satanic spawn and thank God you're here now looking for help. I'm looking for an AC myself right now, but man. Your thread is really hitting me hard right now...

 

This definitely can affect relationship. I had sex with a girl and my erections weren’t strong enough. So I have to heal till it’s all done then try dating girls again

 

Why were you using so much porn before marriage? Did you have sex before marriage?

 

This is what I can tell you from experience. Don't watch porn, or masturbate for the next two months. Within two months you will see a change, and you'll be able to maintain an erection during sex. It's different for everyone, but the best way to make sure you don't relapse or go back to porn again, is to avoid thinking about it. Avoid triggers at all costs, which are simply seeing sexually related things and wanting to watch porn again. Good luck my friend, I had a similar experience with a girl I really liked a while ago, that's how I know. But you should be having sex normally, between a month and a half to two months from now. Don't panic, just explain to your wife to be patient with you, get better. Come on this forum every time you feel an urge, and feel like watching porn, talk to somebody or read the posts, it will remind you why you're doing this to begin with.

 

Like I told him, the best way to be successful, and avoid pied is stopping all porn use for 1 to 2 months. The best way to avoid porn, is to avoid triggers, avoid any pictures of women or men that lead you into watching porn. The only arousal you should allow are natutal arousals, otherwise you'll be watching porn again.