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NEW to this! HELP! I feel so out of place :(

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Dash08, Jan 21, 2017.

Is it best to cut out porn completely?

  1. yes

    100.0%
  2. no

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Dash08

    Dash08 Fapstronaut

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    How do i start my recovery?
     
  2. Covert

    Covert Fapstronaut

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    The first and to me the most important step your have already taken is by signing up here. Welcome. You feel so out of place but mate now you are in the right place, so don't worry about that. You ahve mentioned how to start recovery for that there are various steps, but in order to understand your problem you have to post yourself more elaborately here. Elaborately doesn't mean compromising on your identity here in internet, you can change names, place,etc. In this way please state your problem in a elaborate way, this will help fellow NoFappers to understand you and then give you insights or steps accordingly. As for now you can browse the forums see others problems and solutions given to them by others. See the age groups that belongs to you in the forums. See them and accordingly try to devise your ways because we all are here for the same purpose but our circumstances and situations are different.

    Train your mind to cut out porn immidiately, start a journey of 90 days wihtout PMO, keep a log of it anywhere you are comfortable with. You can maintain a daily journal here this will help you to get the insights of others instantneously. Identity your triggers and try to avoid them. Remember you combating out of PMO your brain and body will react in a strange, will put pressure to relaspe because thorugh years of feeding porn and masturbation now your brain is in a particular way, so when you combat it will react so don't panic. When you face difficulties post it here and the rest of the job will be done by fellow NoFappers. Give the time to heal your brain.

    To understand PMO and Brain you can check these two videos alongwith this website.



    website: http://yourbrainonporn.com/
    Say to yourself no more PORN and immidiately start the journey, if its difficlut to get that 90 days at first break it down in small stages. At the same time remember you are not here to get comfortable, you have to get our comfort zone to fight this PMO thing get prepared for that. Hope I am able to help you, Best Of Luck.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
  3. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  4. Dash08

    Dash08 Fapstronaut

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    Wow thanks all for your help.
    Thanks D.J, Thanks Covert, Thanks Ken!

    I feel Im addicted to porn, but i dont want to be.
    Previoustly i actually tried to cut it out and not masterbate and got to around 20-30 days and then failed.
    I have tried it a few times again over the last few years and keep only being able to get to 30 days roughly.

    I get super edgey and i think more horny after 2 weeks without it and its almost like the first 20 days is easy and then it like levels up 100 fold and anytime i lay down and get into bed its bloody tough to resist!


    I dont have any stratergies really DJ, just a mentality of trying to not watch it and resist it as long as i can and hope that the feels of wanting to do it subside. Similar to eating. changing from a high dairy diet to cutting it out, over time i dont even feel like eating it anymore, it doesnt even enter my mind really.
     
    AndySky180, Burner1 and D . J . like this.
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips to help you along your journey.
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  6. Ayjaydubya

    Ayjaydubya Fapstronaut

    "The difference between the master and the beginner is that the master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried."
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  7. Covert

    Covert Fapstronaut

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    The quote is really awesome.
     
    AndySky180 and Ayjaydubya like this.
  8. Burner1

    Burner1 Fapstronaut

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    Here are some recommendations to get you started. IF you do these things and get fully educated, it goes a long way to fighting the urges and building a great streak (the number of days you abstain – the goal is to keep getting longer and longer streaks until you have broken the addiction).
    1. Share your story - how did PMO become your addiction?
    2. Visit www.yourbrainonporn.com to understand the science of the addiction so you can battle it with wisdom.
    3. Watch The Ted talk here:
    4. Set up a porn blocker on your computer and all other devices you COULD use for PMO.
    5. Get yourself an accountability partner on this site, and locally, if you have a close friend you can safely confide in.
    6. Read posts here daily and update your journal daily ( create one) - you'll understand others' experiences and how they may relate to you and be immersed in ongoing communication that we'll be daily assets for you while also helping others.
    7. Set realistic goals and add a counter to help you and everyone see your progress - small steps seem very achievable and build confidence - large ones may make you feel like it is useless. I suggest picking one day past your longest streak to date, or less if the longest "seems" unachievable at present. Setting 6 months or 1 year is way too far away if you are just starting. YOU WILL fall, like all of the rest of us. You’ve got to get back up, dust yourself off and start moving forward again. It’s only a failure when you GIVE UP!
    8. Ask questions along the way - we're here to help each other. Nobody will judge you here - we're here to help ourselves and one another!
    Welcome to the team! Let's fight the battle against PMO and make some progress together!
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  9. Hi @Deren , welcome to NoFap
    It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
    http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    Fercho
     
    Burner1 and AndySky180 like this.
  10. AndySky180

    AndySky180 Fapstronaut

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    Yep! All good advice above!!! Welcome to NoFap: you are no longer alone, but are part of a great community all around the world. Stay positive; keep your sense of fun; get a NoFap Journal going; and call out if you need help with anything, ok? I wish you all the very best for the great journey ahead! Cheers!
     
    fercho29 and Burner1 like this.

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