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Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by JohnQ3369, Dec 14, 2016.
This is really good to read. God is working powerfully through you both.
Have a great day bro,
My wife had a follow up appointment with her doctor yesterday. We’ve both had this lingering upper respiratory thing for a few weeks now. Her doctor said that because we’ve had a warmer and wetter winter than normal that there is a lot of mold in the air and she suggested nasal spray or allergy meds. I took some allergy meds last night and it was the first night in weeks that I didn’t wake up coughing in the middle of the night. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and slept until almost 7:00 this morning. It felt really good.
Today I’m going to have to push back on something my boss wants to do out in a rural hospital out west. I fell like it setting us up for failure and that we need to take another approach. He just wants to say yes to the customer and figure it out later.
My new-found like for myself is telling me to stand up for myself and my staff and to not let him push us into something that will stretch us beyond what we can handle. That’s my job today.
Glad to hear you and the Mrs. are on the mend. It's nice to read about your confidence and self-acceptance. You wear it well bro.
Staring at the screen right now trying to figure out what to type.
I’ve been getting home later than normal most nights. Holiday time off and time off next week for counseling appointments has me scrambling to get stuff done. It doesn’t help that I’ll be out Monday and Tuesday and that on Tuesday we will be launching one of the biggest initiatives of the last few years. It’s been a last minute project thrown at us from the health system with little detail about how patient transitions will be communicated. I have no doubt that all the parties involved want to provide excellent care, but I foresee hand-off problems as patients transition from one care environment to another. And I cannot defer counseling. Definitely sends the wrong message, that we are back to status quo. And divorce most likely after that.
Mrs. Q is not happy that I’m getting home late. By the time we finish dinner, I get clothes out and lunch made, we have maybe an hour before bed. I’m still being very protective of my sleep time as I recover from what ever I had over New Years. And when Mrs. Q isn’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Kidding, but not kidding.
Our grandson turns one tomorrow. We are attending a huge party at his aunt and uncle’s million dollar mansion. The kid is going to get tons of presents. Probably more than his parents have room for. I feel like we are being invited as an after thought and that doesn’t feel good. But, at the end of the party, we get to take him home and keep him overnight. So that’s good for us.
Looking forward to having a little more time with Mrs. Q tonight. We need quantity time as well as quality. They both help us heal.
Sounds like a trying time. Stick with it bro. Good things on the horizon.
As far as the aunt's and uncle's fancy home and tons of presents, kids don't want things per se, in the long run they want love and attention. Even better, (and occassionally I forget this) the ability to love is unlimited, there's plenty to go around for everyone. Who knows what's going on in the aunt's/uncle's head. Try to enjoy it as best you can, and even better, you don't have to worry about having the house clean, food, snacks, etc. You get to just relax and be the cool grandpa.
The kid won't remember the presents. The kid may not remember those times with grandparents that well. But, *you* will. And, you're building a future relationship with a special kid. In just the right way. Even if you're an afterthought. That kid will need you something fierce when he's a teen. My grandparents meant the world to me. Because they let me know I meant the world to them. Way to go on those priorities, man. There's just nothing in the world like reading to a kid in your lap. And, then you get a break when he goes home to Mom? Sounds amazing!
In the middle of a snowstorm. It’s not snowing all that hard, but we had rain before that and it’s icy under the snow. It would be a good day to sit in front of the fireplace and read all day.
But, it’s not to be. We’ll be heading out in a bit for our grandson’s first birthday party. Snow or no snow.
I’m looking forward to seeing him, and I’m learning to share him with the other side a little better. I realized a while back that we never really had to do that. My wife was kind of the white sheep in a family of black sheep, so we didn’t have much interaction with them. My parents were the primary grandparents. I know the girls only saw their other grandfather once and they were too young to remember him. I think we could have handled some of that better, but there was a lot of pain there to push through.
So, today I’m thankful. Thankful that we get to model healthy sharing with the other grandparents, even if they don’t model it. Thankful for my grandson, who not only lights up when he sees me, but is another chance for me to influence a generation. God’s grace at work.
Peace, gratitude and contentment today. It’s been a long time coming.
Just checkin' in on you JQ. Hope things are going well my friend.
Heading to the end of a 30 day streak. I’m feeling the need to reward myself. Not THAT way, although it sounds really good this morning. Some small reward for myself that will remind me this is all worth it.
Let’s catch up a bit...
Saturday was my grandson’s birthday party. It was fun, but well, a little odd. The party was at my son in laws’s brother’s house, a huge house south of the town I work in. They ended up getting way more snow than we did. We got stuck twice getting there, but when we left, the roads were OK. I was observing some things during the party. My daughter is struggling. Just trying to keep up with life and to present the perfect instragram life her peers all supposedly have. I saw her struggling and I saw her husband not sure what to do about it. I’m also aware of marital issues between the couple that hosted the party. As I sat and observed, God gave me an impression of something that shifted my mind significantly. He showed it to me with these two couples first, but then showed how it applied in my life.
Our wives are like the Check Engine lights for our hearts. When they are disconnected from us, discouraged, struggling, it means there is something wrong. Not just with them. If we are not coming beside them, supporting them and living them, there is something wrong in our hearts that is impacting them. I sure know this from my history.
When the Check Engine light comes on, we have choices.
First, we can just keep driving. I’ve done that. Decided I was to busy to deal with whatever “her problems” were and that I just needed to keep moving and keep the ship afloat. I knew there were problems but I couldn’t or wouldn’t take the time to deal with them.
Second, we can put a piece of black tape over the light and pretend it’s not lit up. Denial and I are old friends. I’ve spent a lot of time denying that there were issues or saying that our issues were nothing compared to others we knew.
Third, we can buy one of those code scanners and erase the code, hoping it won’t come back. Appeasement. Buy her some flowers, take her to dinner, half heartedly go to some conference with her. The light might go out for a while, but it will be back.
Lastly, we can work to fix the problem. Find an expert. A counselor or pastor you can trust. Be vulnerable with her, remember why you fell in love with her. Fix the problem because it’s your problem. Even if it’s hers.
Traveling today. I may post more later about out counseling trip. The counselor liked my Check Engine thing.
This is really insightful stuff JQ. Are you going to share this with your son-in-law? Just curious.
Have a great day bro. Your knockin' this out of the park!
I’m working on developing the message and then I plan to share it with him.
Cool analogy. Very Christian in the sense of putting responsibility in our hands as husbands to do right by our wives. I can do better about that this week. Thanks for the motivation.
Had to be God. I’m not that smart.
Dealing with frustrating issues today. I came out west to help run a clinic with our new platform. It didn’t work well and we failed back to our old platform. Meanwhile all of our users on the health system side are suddenly having trouble with system performance. But of course nothing has changed on the corporate network. Except of course when I ask about certain things. Well, we did change that. But it shouldn’t affect it. And we did change that other thing. But it shouldn’t affect it.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail... Well we did do the nose. And the hat.
So anyway, I’m 3 1/2 hours from home. Probably in @hopefuldude territory. And I’m stuck here until we finish this clinic. I probably won’t get home until at least 7:00 tonight and I don’t dare stay here tonight because snowmageddon is bearing down on us.
I’m in a pissy mood. I feel like we are spreading ourselves too thin and we are failing our customers. We are not providing the level of support that I expect. And it’s not the fault of our support staff. It’s a leadership problem. I’m part of the problem because I have not stood up and said no. But those above me are committing us to too many things at the same time. I need to start saying no.
The frustration has me wanting relief. In the worst way. And that would be the worst way.
I’m putting my talking points together tonight. This has to stop.