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Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by gzarini, May 20, 2019.

  1. gzarini

    gzarini New Fapstronaut

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    Ni guys. I'm new in jefe andan i found tus site today looking for help with a porn addiction.
    I'm 29 years old, and i live with my couple and my beautiful 1 year old daughter.
    I've been watching porn since the age of 16 or 17 when i got my first ADSL Internet connection. I have never imagined being a father neither in a relationship because of my lack of confidence, so all of my efforts at that time were on studying and working. So my biological needs were being satisfied by masturbating watching porn. Between the age of 25 and 26 i visited some escorts that i found in a site, and that was pretty much my sexual experience. Then i met this beautiful lady that blew my mind, first intellectually then sexually. But i kept watching the escort site and even called one that added me as a friend in Facebook, that's hay she found about this one. I hace told her about the others. Porn is a different matter. She imagined that i watch porn because i had no girlfriend, so she was ok at first, so i kept looking (we even paid a subscription), not knowing that i harmed her watching other women making her feel less. I hace to say i love her and i do not want may other woman in my life, just her and my daughter. So on saturday night de fought because que found some porn actresses on my predictive that made her realized i've been watching which i promised two months ago i wouldn't do it again after a fight in which i left the house for a couple days. Last wekend when de fought she ended up in a hospital with a panic attack, that's when i realized i need a fully restoration or a complete cure to be the man she fell in love again. Needless to say her trust is broken and i don't know if i will be trusted again.
    I feel i'm failing her over and over, and i feel like crap. I'm currently studying to be a Merchant seaman which i can do because she supports me. She works all day so we don't missanything and this is how i pay. I have to recover to be able to move forward.

    I hope to find the support i need to cure in here. Thanks.
     
  2. Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your story.
    For many of us it takes something major to get us to see what is really going on, like seeing her hurting.
    Read, learn and start making your plan to heal yourself. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Show her who you really are by healing yourself.
     

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