New I'm sorry if this is long

I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this I am a SO of an addict. I see that you want some sort of closure or maybe explanation? You think I stuck with him through this so how can he leave me? Unfortunately you may never get the closure or the answers. Even if he does speak with you and give you a reason it is very unlikely to make you feel any better. It is easy to say just move on but moving on is not easy. At this point he's sent a clear message that he does not want to speak to you so you need to accept that. It's going to hurt pretty bad for sometime BUT that hurt will subside with time. Whereas if you continue to deal with this man in any capacity your hurt will last a lifetime. When you get away from this relationship and get some time and space your head will clear and you will ask yourself why was I with that jerk ? But it's hard to see that now I know. I know it also feels like the only thing that will make you feel better is him but that's your mind tricking you hes a source of pain. There's a great quote "the hardest thing to do is greive the loss of someone who is still alive." Good luck!

 

Lord I've wanted my s.o. to go . Seriously maybe not at first, but within the last year I've been god why can't he just go away. I can't tell you not to feel awful bc I have and do, but it's lessening with time and I'm not even out of this relationship....god I write relationship and laugh bc it's not what I've deemed as such. It's always hard without closure or the last word , but I can assure you being bogged down by it all is absolutely no better. I hope you find your strength quicker than it took me to find mine. I'm sorry yet another person has to go through this. These forums are both comforting and disparaging at the same time for me.

 

I know this post is from a few weeks ago so I hope you have been well these past few weeks. My advice to you is to evaluate if you want this person to even be a part of your situation. It does have to do with both of you but if it would only make things harder and more stressful for you it might be better to leave him out of the equation. As much as you shouldn't have to do this alone it might be better to be around more supportive family and friends rather than someone not completely stable. I was in a toxic/abusive relationship with my second child and having him around made my pregnancy experience not enjoyable. He cheated and choked me while pregnant with his child and made that time very stressful for me. I wouldn't give my son back for the world and that person is no longer in our lives but I would've been better off with my family and friends at the time so I could enjoy the experience of being pregnant. It should be all about taking care of you and baby not stressing over someone else's issues. Be well and stay strong! Remember everything happens for a reason!

 

I was also in a abusive relationship when I was pregnant.
The best thing right now for your baby is, if he's gone, then you know you are safe.
Unfortunately if you let him back in, even to say you are pregnant, you will spend your time and your babies time trying to leave and endanger you both.
It's simply unhealthy.
I know you want to tell him, talk to him, hope he will change for your child.... It's simply not the case.
He won't.
If he doesn't value you... He won't value the life you hold, not even because it's half himself.
Where I am, I went through ALOT to try to get away. I dealt with physiological, emotional, physical and mental abuse. When I tried to prove one, my exspouse would evolve and change how he was abusive to me and my kids... Made it very hard to prove, let alone predict... And the court told me I Had To Stay.
It was Grueling.
I hope you have a good support system.
I hope you know you can reach out to us here, on the forums.
If you need resources, there are people who can help you with that.
If you are in the States, please message me, if you need help finding contacts. There are agencies and resources in every state.
I don't mind.
Please stay safe.