I started mo when I was 13, and I started p when I was in my mid 20s. I then stopped p for several years, and mo was just an occasional thing. I actually went several years with no dating or anything, so my sex drive went down to almost nothing. A few months ago, I decided it would be nice to look for a relationship so I made an online profile. I went out as friends with a guy I really like, and the second time we hung out we messed around which led to sex the next time we saw each other. He also has a problem with pmo, so we were helping each other with p accountability. Having sex with him really opened the floodgates for me, and it made me really want touch and sex again. I developed feelings and he didn't which led to me recently having sex with a coworker. My coworker and I have liked each other for months, but he made it clear that this can only be a friendship and sex only thing because he is still grieving the death of his fiancee and is in a bad place.Immediately after, I regretted having sex with him but he has indicated he would still like to. I am no longer doing accountability with my other friend. Long story short, the combination of both of these non relationship things where I have been having infrequent sex where I am really wanting an actual relationship have triggered a major setback with pmo. I have been doing it multiple times a day, and I know it needs to stop. I really want to pursue finding a real actual relationship, but I wonder if I first need to get this under control. I am still really good friends with both guys, and I am concerned I will end up in yet another unsatisfying sexual non relationship but it is hard because I am so lonely and really want a relationship. Thoughts?