New and Struggling

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by SpaceBazaar, Mar 17, 2019.

  1. SpaceBazaar

    SpaceBazaar Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone. I am a 36 y/o male looking for support in my recovery journey.

    I have been using porn since I was very young, around 10 I think. When I first gained access to the Internet things escalated into a daily habit, masturbating multiple times per day, low self-confidence, depression, anxiety, and other issues I can't quite name.

    Four years ago my wife caught me watching porn and that started a long cycle of short reboots followed by relapses. My longest reboot was about 3 months and that was at the beginning.

    Most recently, I confessed to my wife that I was not free from porn and masturbation. There had been a lot of lying and secrecy. Since then I have had more success with rebooting, my current streak is 37 days and my last one was 20 days.
    Jerry120 likes this.
  2. 11square

    11square Fapstronaut

    Keep going, adding more days. More than, cultivate honesty and trust with yourself and your SO. I am reading that in many journals here whose success depends on that.
  3. SpaceBazaar

    SpaceBazaar Fapstronaut

    Openness and honesty are hugely important and, at least for me, hugely hard to do. I spent have spent most of my life hiding and lying. It is a hard habit (not sure that habit is the right word) to break.

    Thank you for the reply. My greatest fear about coming here was that no one would notice.
  4. 11square

    11square Fapstronaut

    start journaling everyday in journal section., like-minded people will read and respond to it. For me, it's a huge relief when I fight hard some days and in last week.
  5. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

    Welcome to the community. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
  6. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Hey bud! Welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story. I too had a good streak to start off my recovery and then kept having frequent relapses - once every few weeks. You have to keep fighting this drug. You are blessed with a wife and you should make the most of this. One of the most effective ways to combat this drug is to replace it with human connections. Once you can do this, you will be able to negate the need for the drug as the human connections will fulfill your need for gratification. You will have to give it time though because as humans are animate creatures, dealing with the unpredictability of human interaction can be challenging for an addict. We tend to like the "instant gratification" route to reach our goals.

    I wish you luck and I hope to see you here. Forming a connection with a community will also help. Keep fighting! Good luck!
    11square likes this.

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