NEW 90 Day Challenge - Start on Sunday 22nd May 2016

Thanks @StraightEdge, I was ok in the end. I had a whole bunch of stuff I needed to sort out and couldn't leave the house and wanted to do anything else other than the tasks at hand, but coming on here and leaving a message is enough accountability to normally help me just move past it, so thanks everyone for being around.

 

Thanks for posting at - well written. I think I'll start my own journal too.

I'm still here and going strong. Glad to see you are all doing well. Keep up the fight.

 

@fookeh Thank you
Of course you are! After seeing you relapse report I never doubted! You got this.

 

Hey guys,
I'm traveling at the moment so haven't been active the last few days. The past day I've been having a lot of sexual thoughts and almost gave in. I think the change of routine and the stress it brings has left me with an urge to lose myself. On here to vent and hopefully release for sone time.

Hope all you guys are having a great day!

 

Fuck sake I slipped again!

 

@Joseon2016 You've come so far, and made such a change and I'm proud of you and all of us in that. Pick yourself up and get back on the road to sanity. I'm sorry if you were feeling stressed and maybe lonely because of the travelling. Do you want to debrief a bit and talk about the circumstance a bit more?

Also if I was you I'd set my counter down to a few days and keep taking the energy from making the goal and using it to move forward to the next one. For me 90 days is just too far to think about all in one go but YMMV.

 

Yeah, I agree with @stephanD on this one.. At first I honestly didn't even plan to reach 90 days, my main goal was 30 days and when I achieved that, it felt like a huge boost to reach the next goal. If your goal is too far away right in the beginning, you might not have enough fuel to go all the way through.

 

Must be the two week mark for me, I'm having a rough night! Came here instead. Can't afford to throw it all away again.

 

Hey thanks for the support guys.

I have travelled home for two weeks and gave into a stray thought. I felt I was handling it well beforehand. I think after my 50 day streak I thought that the sexual thoughts would just decrease naturally and I guessed I thought humouring them would be fine. However what I've taken from it is that I need to also disengage from them as quickly as possible. I find that difficult. For 9 months I had really bad health problems which required me to stay in bed and stop exercising. I had just gotten over it about the time I started this (about 2.5 months ago). However it has reappeared so I'm pretty down about that and saw that stray thought as an escape.

I'm going to try not be as down about it this time, if it was easy I wouldn't have problem. Just as an alcoholic who gives up drink for a long period, if he/she doesn't change their behavioural pattern they will they will not have relief. If I don't focus on my mental habits I won't be able to achieve my goal of an more rounded and enjoyable life. Anyway getting disappointed after going 2 weeks without P or M shows that I'm on the correct path so I just need to remain more vigilant in those trying times.

 

@joson2016 - I hear you about the illness stuff, I've also suffered some serious health problems and am much better than I was, but awhile ago it looked like I might be heading to a relapse and I know thats a really hard place to be mentally. This thing we are doing though, being here, is a good thing I believe our brain reboots will help us be stronger, clearer headed and learn to face those difficult feelings rather than escape from them. You're not alone.

 

@maske We started around the same time and I'm genuinely excited at the prospect of you reaching 90 days soon. Do you have plans for what to do afterwards? For me I don't feel quite 'reset' yet, maybe we never really are, I'm better but want to be more free. Reading this http://husbandhelphaven.com/porn-addiction-withdrawal-walkthrough/ from @iHappy's guide made me feel like I'm not as far along as I would of expected to be, still caught up in it, still tempted, still a bit of that scumbag brain feeling. Just wondering how everyone else felt.

 

@stephanD That link might contain accurate information about the withdraw symptoms but they can't predict the day and weeks when you will feel them. Some of us need longer time, some less..but the important thing is to remove porn from our options.
Even if that means increased anxiety, low energy, insomnia, depression...for the first 6 months of our recovery. Even longer if it is necessary.

 

Hey @stephanD I really appreciate it. I also can't believe it. I know myself as a guy without much power of will and since the beginning I knew I would probably relapse but it didn't happen this time. I mean, my highest streak before this one was like 10 or 11 days but I usually couldn't go past day 3.

Having said that, I won't lie, the thought of having a porn/fap session as a reward went through my mind a couple of times in the last 3 or 4 days, but as I write this right now, it really sounds like the dumbest thing to do.

I know it's weird to say that, some things changed for better in the last 3 months, but I kind of haven't seen so many benefits to actually have that "I'm never going back to porn" mindset. And that is my problem at the moment, I'm honestly just trying to beat the 90 days, and I'm kind of afraid of what's next.

So my idea to battle this at this moment, is to try to reach 100 days. It's just 10 more days but I like the sound of it, a 100 days pmo free.. wow. Then maybe 100 will turn to 150? I don't know, let's see how it goes.

Cheers!

 

Wow congratulations guys! 90 days is some achievement!

Just checking in today. My mind is all over the place and my health is poor but I've been trying to keep busy and keep away from sexual thoughts.

 

@Joseon2016 my mind is also all over the place today, my girlfriend is away for the next few days so expect to see more of me here. This evening I found myself walking home almost anticipating that I could watch P when I got there, WTF! My brain just does not get it yet that is not an option. I've come far, we all have , in not acting on those impulses every time like we used to, but I'd like my brain to become even clearer and at peace, so that sex is sex and life is life.

@maske Yup I have thought about that too, my scumbag brain saying "wouldn't it be nice" "you could just..." I think if/when (I say 'if' because I've learnt I can't afford to be complacent about it) I get to 90 days the only thing I can think of doing is to start another 90, without fapping in-between, but kind of in the same way as when we started, setting small achievable goals and reaching them. If it takes 6 months rather than 3, then it takes 6 month, if it takes a year, then it takes a year. It's worth it.

Of course there have been difficult times on the challenge but overall I have really appreciated and even enjoyed this process, I can actually look forward to doing another 90 days. Crazy exciting times.

 

@stephanD that's interesting that you still have those urges. Just hypothesising here, I wonder is it possible to fully reboot with how hypersexualised our society is. We are bombarded by highly sexualised women and situations on tv, adverts, etc. all the time so can our brains ever fully stop associating pleasure from it? Is it possible to not get a dopamine hit for 30 days straight? Even a glance at a poster or watching a tv ad can release something in us, maybe. I'd be interested to see what yee guys think.

@maske one more day and you'll hit the the big 9.0. Congrats!

 

Hello everyone, I was away from internet during the last week.
@maske so great you are about to reach the 90 days. I'll be there tomorrow to congratulate you!
Actually, I'm in the same state of mind than you or @stephanD . But reaching 100 days seems to be 'too easy' and I'm thinking that it might be a excuse coming from the subconscient. I think that running another 90 days might be indeed my best option.

 

Hay @StraightEdge glad to see you back, I was looking for you. You are not too far from the big 9.0. yourself

I'm doing nofap in 'normal' mode ie still having sex and O with a partner and accepted from the outset that it would take longer than 'hard mode' but am happy to keep going, even if there isn't a obvious reset point for me I'll keep going for as long as I need too.

I think that the reboot is a physiological and psychological thing, even if you are turned on by a poster or an attractive woman in a summer dress those are relatively normal responses compared with the over uses and constant sexual novelty of our pre nofap days.

I need to stop fantasising so much, coming home from work in a busy town, not just looking at women, but looking for women to look at. I think thats probably still holding me back because in a way I'm choosing to remind myself about sex and that in turn allows my brain to 'suggest' the idea of watching porn.

 

@maske Woooohoooooo Congratulations!
hay remember this:

 

@maske - congratulations! An epic achievement, and even though it'll be October before I join you, I will be joining you. I've had a few urges, but nothing like when I started this in May. So sure, I might be starting over, but another way I look at it is 1 fap since May 22. I can live with that.

Thanks for all the support everyone, I'm going to write a journal in the next couple days to outline how this unforgiving addiction found it's way (and poorly influenced) into my life. I'll post here when it's started.

@Joseon2016 - I'm starting over with you. Let's do this. You have to avoid everything you can. All those sneaky ads, anything that sets you off. Don't give in. At least we're safe here!