NEW 90 Day Challenge - Start on Sunday 22nd May 2016

Damned!! I wasn't there yesterday to congratulate you @maske! You made it!
By the way, one day left for me, and it was very very difficult for me today! Almost relapsed... I don't know if there was a psychologic reason (so close from the goal?).
Anyway, I wasn't expecting such cravings after all this time... Even if i went through, I don't feel confident about my rebooting...

 

@StraightEdge you are so close, I can almost feel it, I know it's just a number, but what a number!!! I know hitting 90 days won't be a magic solve all solution, but it is a solution, aiming for this number has bought us all further away from that crap place we were in of compulsive addition. So excited to see you hit this goal and grateful that I've met people here who are honest about where they are with and the problems they still have. I'm not quite at 90 days yet but I feel the same about my reboot I want to be even better than I am now but honestly feel I could travel another 90 days with you guys if your up for it?

 

@Joseon2016 - really want to see you hit your goal too, these are difficult times and really want to see you continue to rack up days. From everything I've read of you I believe you can make it.

 

Don't give up, @StraightEdge - it's your brain's last attempt to thwart your progress! YOU GOT THIS!

 

Morning everyone. @StraightEdge I logged on to see you goal counter hit 100% but there must be a time difference, you can only be hours away from it now

 

Hey guys, sorry not been able to get on here the last couple of days. Had a some cravings this morning where my hand went downstairs but avoided it.

@fookeh yeah let's do it together!

@stephanD thanks for the support!

@StraightEdge hang in there! It'll pass and you'll hit the 90!

 

Hey guys! Sorry for not being around the last couple days! It's been crazy! I did it! Wow, seriously, I'd never imagined I could reach 90 days pmo-free. Not doing it on hard-mode helped me, because having sex once in a while helped me not being so tense throughout this process. I'm not sure if any of you guys are doing it hardmode, but hats off if you are.



Thanks everyone for being so supportive, you guys are awesome. I honestly look forward to seeing all of you reaching your goals.

Also, congratulations @StraightEdge , you did it, man!

 

Slipped up again! Need to be stronger and more present when urges come. Same problem as last time. Was stuck at home for 2 days.

I think that I did so well to get to 50 days, I've been subconsciously thinking that I'm half cured and have been lax when the pressure has told.

I'm going to start with a small challenge, the last 2 times I slipped I pmo'd again within in 24 hours. This time I will try not to and hopefully take some early confidence from that. I can even hear the little voice in my head urging me to just have one more quick one.

I'll try not to get too down stay alert the next couple days.

 

Hay @Joseon2016, I've been stuck at home and my girlfriend is away for the past few days and been feeling the urges too, like we were saying, non of us are cured yet, but we are getting better. Why don't you set your counter to 1 day, I'll check back here tomorrow and check that you made it.

Are you stuck at home and not being able to get out at all? if so thats really tough. If you've got someone you can talk to about that you should tell them how you feel about it. For me P became away of pushing those feelings away, but it doesn't really work, you have got to feel them to deal with them, thats the difficult truth. Feel free to PM if you want to chat privately about it.

You are so much better than you were, get back on the road and keep moving forward. You can make it man.

 

Bored and lonely and on my own, I'm starting to think what I could watch which wouldn't be quite porn so closing my laptop going to go to bed to read a book or listen to the radio. Kind of grumpy about it. Goodnight good people.

 

@stephanD thanks for the support! It's much appreciated! I'm back at my parents for 2weeks and my parents are working during the day so I've no lift to get out until like 5 or 6. Good on you for closing the laptop. That's how i got caught...first had sexual thoughts then looked at some innocuous pics that ended up leading me to p.

I think the hardest part hasn't been cutting out the hardcore (obviously that isn't easy either) but it's the leading material and thoughts which i never would of considered a problem beforehand.

Anyway heading to bed soon. Just concentrating on not pmo'ing for a few days. Keeping it just a reset and not turning it into a relapse will be an achievement. I'm not sure how you guys used to do it but i have/had a binge mentality to pmo so want to make sure i just keep it a slip and not a slide.

 

@Joseon2016 Hang in there and stay strong. You can make it past these chaser effect days and get back into a clearer space, remember it was good there.

I was very much in danger of that last night, empty headed and browsing around. I ended up having to delete a series of tv programs that I knew had some nudity in them, it was like there were two of me, one me opening up the folder 'just to have a look' and the other me pressing select all and delete. Once I deleted them I went to the recycle bin and found I could still preview the video and started the episode I was interested in again! I managed to stop the video and clear the recycle bin. I then shutdown my computer and walked away. I'm surprised at both versions of me, the one who is still trying to deal with or suppress his feelings threw the use of p/p-subs and the one who knows thats not really what I want to do and manages to stop it.

Can I suggest you plan your days? Even if it's just little things around the house. Start to learn something new or practice a new skill, and go for a walk each day if you can.

You can make it, I know you can because I've seen how high your counter was.

 

So I did it... Thanks for all your messages and your support during these 90 days!
And now, what's next? Am I cured from porn addiction? I really don't know... As I said previously, I've had some cravings lately and still have. In fact, I didn't have O with my gf since 3 weeks and everytime I'm around this 2-3 weeks of total abstinence, I feel very weak... But I go through for the moment. Yesterday, for a test, I even went on a porn website (few seconds) and didn't feel the need to masturbate at all. So I think that this cravings are not due to porn but are more physiological...

You are right @stephanD it can be very helpfull to change your mind and practice something else to stop the urge, but, it's just a mind trick and no more. I think that the most important is to make thoughts conscient and observe the desire rising. Not judging, just observing and understanding that you are being highjacked by your hormones. If you are very present to yourself and in the same time detached enought to see that you are becoming horny, then the urge will subside. well, that works for me....

 

Congratulations @StraightEdge and @maske - you guys are inspiring.

@stephanD - you are closing in, keep up the good work!

Today I am not giving much of a shit about things, I have a lot going on and I am so close to saying screw it and fapping BUT, I came here instead. It's been a really challenging couple of weeks and I am just seeking excuses. I know I will regret giving in, so I will push on!

I will stick it out! I have you all to motivate me.

 

I'm really struggling.

 

Don't give up buddy. You're going to make it. Try to meditate?

 

Ouch. I mo'd yesterday. After beating the 90 days I felt such a weight being lifted off, that kind of relief you feel when you're a kid and it's the last day of school. So, while being all happy and shit, I slipped.

Goes to show that after 90 days, even 10 days can be tough if you don't have the right mindset.

On a side note, I'm really not pissed. Let's see if we can make it again.

 

@maske you make me smile. If I'd hit 90 already I'd say fuck it, reset my counter and go round the mountain again too, maybe I will. Glad your not pissed

 

Ha! @stephanD Thanks man, yeah. I believe this first time was some kind of cleansing, and I knew I wouldn't go too much beyond the 90 days.

But the reason I'm not pissed is because having fapped this time had some use. Sometimes I would actually prefer to pmo instead of having sex with a girl, and that's plain weird. So when I fapped after 90 days, the act of masturbating felt so less pleasurable than it used to, that it reinforced the idea that I don't want to do it anymore. After I was finished I immediately asked myself "Do you really enjoy doing this? Like, really?".

So I'm more confident in doing nofap now that I answered this question that was in my head. So now I can go past the 90 days more willingly, I just have to reach it again.

Also, props to you! 10 days to go, man!

Cheers!

 

Really strugglingly this morning, lying in bed fantasising, if I'm honest I M'd a bit but didn't O, then got up but have spent the last two hours being chased by that desperate to O feeling, still have it a bit. The difficultly in these last days must be in part phycological right? Close to the goal but 10 days still seems a long time.