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Never feeling like I have any confidence or maybe a failure?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zxcv, Mar 11, 2019.

  1. Mar 11, 2019 #1
    zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    I don't know I've never really had any confidence, even though I do things that are supposed to give people confidence it doesn't seem to be working for me. Really, realistically I probably should have more confidence than I do, but for some reason I don't.

    I mean I have a programming that I think doing good but at the same time worried that I'm doing bad at it to point where I get nervous every time I talk to my boss or have to ask him for help. But at the same time it seems like he thinks I'm doing a good job, but at the same I'm still nervous about failing at the job.

    I've finished college and got my bachelor's degree in programming. I'm actually spending my free time trying to get into graphics programming during my free time, and now I'm attempting to learn Calculus on my free time. So I can learn physics for the graphics and video game programming stuff.

    I've also tried going to different psychologists over the years too, but they haven't had much of an effect either.

    But yeah I do have a hard time making friends and connecting to people. I'm not really sure how to fix that. I've been trying to work on it, but nothing has really been working in this area either.
     
    zxcv, Mar 11, 2019
    zxcv, Mar 11, 2019
    #1
    220woof671 likes this.
  2. Mar 11, 2019 #2
    bakes

    bakes Fapstronaut
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    @zxcv I hear. I remember being like that. Sometimes I go back to this fear with some people that reminds me of my dad. But it's not severe as it used to be. I remember not being to look anyone in his or her eyes.
    Now that is gone. Only a portion of it still exists. I still have difficulties asking a girl out.
    I remember trying to fix it with alcohol. It didn't work. So I was lucky I got to stop drinking with the help of AA and now I can Express myself. What mostly helped me was taking care of myself. Sport, healthy eating, I quit a job I hated and started a new one which I love very much. I wake up early and dress well.
    You're on the right track about helping others. One thing I've understood is that when I'm doing something good, it is my decision. So I don't give a shit about what other people think. And you know what? Most people are self centered and when you think they are thinking of you they're actually thinking of themselves. So focus on helping others and taking care of yourself. If you fail ask for feedback or make an inventory of what went wrong. Try to fix it.
    I recommend the book "12 rules of life: an antidote to chaos" by J.B. Peterson. And read a lot. Take what is useful to you. Not everything is good.
    One illusion that we people have is that we're the only ones experiencing the problem. Millions of people have gone through this and found the solution. Books. Ted talks. Motivational clips....
    Hope you overcome this. You sound like a good person. And you're definitely on the right track.
     
    bakes, Mar 11, 2019
    bakes, Mar 11, 2019
    #2
    220woof671 likes this.

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