Need to Stop

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by alien 8, Apr 18, 2019.

  1. alien 8

    alien 8 Fapstronaut

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    Hey people. I'm 27 years old and I'm trying to quit watching porn and masturbating. I relapsed like 8 days ago which is when I joined the site and i just did again and I feel terrible about it. I need some kind of help. I talked to my doctor about PIED recently and I'm going to be seeing a counselor pretty soon. I think I'm a fairly attractive guy but I've still only been with one girl my whole life and we dated for five years. The PIED was an issue in that relationship as well and still greatly affects my confidence in pursuing women. I'm hyperactive and sociable with people I'm comfortable with but I do get social anxiety. I don't know. People have seemed shocked when I tell them I've only been with one girl.

    I just want to be in a relationship with a girl I like and be able to make love to her. For real. I've eliminated all other vices in my life. I don't use drugs, I quite drinking (which I had a problem with) and I quit smoking. I'm a college student getting good grades. All I do is work and study. Right now, I have a huge crush on a girl I work with and I told her I'm infatuated with her and I want to date her and she said she had a boyfriend but we could go out if anything ever happened. The girl drives me so crazy but she hasn't been giving me any attention since then and I just give her her space and it just drives me nuts and makes me depressed. So I woke up again and felt upset about it and jerked off again. And now I'm back to square one. I hate porn. I'm just thinking about that girl and how I'll probably never have her and even if I did I won't be able to have sex with her because my fucking dick is broken.

    Anyways, I really need to stop. I don't want this shit in my life anymore. My heart is so heavy. I need love in my life. I just need some support. I keep going about a week and relapsing and it's back to the beginning. I don't have any problem during the day. It seems to be the worst when I wake up in the middle of the night. Any suggestions? Been watching porn since I was probably 10 years old. Tried to lose my virginity when I was 14 and couldn't get an erection. That's when I first realized something was wrong. And I can't stop thinking about this girl and it's making me feel hurt and jealous and frustrated. Sooo... yeah. Any support or input would be wonderful. I need to get to sleep though. Gotta be up early. I can't believe I fucked up again.
     
  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    One of the best pieces of advice I could give is to be patient with yourself. You messed up, sure, but that doesn't define your future. What you are now doesn't have to dictate what you will become. You have made a big step in making progress towards sexual purity; coming here is progress. In order to get better, you must first acknowledge that you have an issue and that's what you have done.

    Give yourself some time to feel better about this girl who you have feelings for. There's a girl that I kind of like, but I'm too afraid of approaching her, for fear of rejection. Over time though, those feelings have gotten less powerful and I'm finally able to see her without my heart racing. I wish I had all the right answers.
     
  3. Gaius Julius Caesar

    Gaius Julius Caesar Fapstronaut

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    Hi there. I'm also an old college student with a useless dick like you! High five. Any support? Well, don't be a little bitch is what it boils down to in the end. You can employ all the tips and tricks and still fail if you're unwilling to do something you find unpleasant. Trust me, I've tried and as you can see I'm still struggling with it. Just try to take this seriously I guess.
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. alien 8

    alien 8 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. I appreciate the response. Yeah... I'm just kind of ranting on the forums to get some of the anxiety off my chest. It's a new day. Sort of. Hasn't been 24 hours yet. But I'm gonna persevere! I'm gonna be back on here again. I need some kind of place to talk about this stuff. Maybe use the forums when I'm feeling the pressure to relapse. Like I said, it's takes about a week and I wake up at like 2 in the morning and do it again without even thinking about it. Just like "fuck it" and then just feel soul crushed. Be back later though. Gotta go.
     
  5. Coffee Candy

    Coffee Candy Fapstronaut

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    i suggest you make frequent status updates about your journey because theres a special little section that shows updated statuses for a few moments and people can see it and will give support. :+) good luck on your journey
     

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