Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by iamlonewolf1992, Dec 27, 2018.
Next time go to a super market where the cashier is girl .
I dont know the cure for anxiety, i just know that staying at home and doing nothing will only lead to more and more isolation and it will seem more and more impossible to do stuff.
So: start with small goals where you need to go outside and interact with other people, like asking the man in the shop where you can find xy and then build bigger goals.
Also consider seeking professional help, there is absolutely no need for shame.
I know there are countriers where this is not so easy to afford, but it is worth trying if you have the chance
The worst thing is to do nothing and wait for some miracle, you won't wake up someday and suddenly be happy for no reason :/
Absolutely right. I like the suggestion of small goals. I can give it a try. I already have some simple goals. I am working on them. I am making some progress after this post. I got many good suggestions.
Thanks buddy. I think I can still say "happy new year" .
I have anxiety only next to pretty woman. I do lectures in front of 200 people with not problem at all. When there is pretty woman showing interest or just talking to me i cant do shit... I blame it all on fapping and porn because it was not always like that...
What you're doing is basically throwing away your self respect. You give it all up just because of a complete stranger's physical attributes. You know nothing about that stranger and yet you easily believe that they're above you, you're below them, and you have to close the gap by doing something other than expressing yourself honestly.
You don't see them as an imperfect human being just like everyone else. You see them as an object to be attained. Something you're not worthy of. An outcome that needs to happen. So your mind goes into overdrive trying to avoid the fear, uncertainty, and pain that this special object has bestowed upon you. You hesitate and tense up because you don't want to lose as a result of going after what you want... so you do nothing. You don't win and you don't really lose... you're just seeking safety and comfort again.
Porn conditions you to always be safe, comfortable, certain, and to have instant gratification. So when you're in reality and you desire something that takes actual effort, delayed gratification, uncertain, risk, and difficulty.... you become afraid and run off back to what's comfortable.
Physically arousing people are just people. You don't know anything about them. You shouldn't be willing to emotionally, mentally, and physically invest so easily and instantly just from one very small aspect of what makes up a human being. Treat them like people and be real around them... most men don't. Just doing that alone will set you apart from many other men.
When you treat them like something else it will show up in your behavior. Eye contact, vocal tonality, posture, body language, attitude, etc. You will seem like you're up to something. That you have creepy hidden intentions. That you're someone shady and not someone that you can trust.
Thank you for your big response. You are 100% right. It was not always like that. My previous girlfriend is gorgeous and i approached her normally way before i was addicted to porn and mansturbation...
Hi bro, thanks for your reply. I do feel lil anxious when I feel inferior. I think we should work on this and I am sure we will be super good.
Hi elevate, thanks buddy. I think this piece of suggestion you shared is one of the best I read today. It's different thought. It's living up to your handle name "elevate". Thanks buddy. I will definitely give it a try.
I also have bad social anxiety, which is why I stay inside most of the time...have always been a quiet, shy guy. Always find it difficult to interact with others, especially pretty girls.
Have been trying to change that, but it's tough.
Relying on porn for many years has made things worse.
But what I find helpful is keeping a daily journal, just documenting my thoughts and whatever else comes to mind.
I find it very relaxing and relieving.
Best of luck to you all.
I can totally relate to this. I am going through same phase. It is very hard. The worst thing is I can't express it. So putting it on paper is helping a little bit.
I am hopeful that we will be out of this very soon. Keep trying
I always keep promising myself that I will quit watching pornography. but I keep on relapsed everytime. I feel so bad and I really hate myself. I am depressed right now. I don't even know what to do.. but I hope that I can't beat this addiction......... guys please help me
You took the first step of asking for help. We are all here to do what ever we can do. I will message you in side.
This is an on going process for me and I believe that I have been trying to treat my anxiety by using PMO. And it turns and mind inside out not to mention what it makes you think about yourself. I have two segregated one find a quote that inspires you to some kind of action.
Mine is, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Dale Carnegie”
Second educate yourself: I recently read the book “Anxiety, Pulling The Trigger” I think it is a good place to start.
The Jesus Prayer...... try it.