Need some Feminist Feedback - Help with mansplaining

Urban dictionary defines Mansplaining: "stating verifiable facts that are inconvenient to the feminist worldview."

 

It is pretty negative. I think in the situation you described and to the best of my understanding of the situation she said you were manplaining because you told her the fact and you gave an example of an experience you had. Although I think you meant well stating a fact in this situation and giving an example may not have been the best approach. I think what she may have been looking for was validation. You may have been trying to do that and it came off wrong etc. idk.

 

Hon, the incident you mentioned is waaaay too vague for us to really help you. Generally, I believe, it falls into three camps:
1. Explaining something crazy obvious as if she didn't get it
2. Explaining something even though she gets it and even better, is more informed on the subject than you. One example is the dude who "corrected" a woman about the properties of water in space when she is in fact, an astronaut.
3. Commenting on things that you could literally have no direct experience with but acting like you do. So, basically what it's like to be a woman and why we act they way we do (generally or individually) Save that for the medical professionals, please.

I have yet to be mansplained to so I can't help you much further than this. I bet Google would help you out though

 

Is it possible she was just trying to vent with her original post? If so, you blocking the validity of her perspective with your counterpoints would elicit a negative response because you just covered the vent.

I've read somewhere that males often over-intellectualize as a means to avoid true emotion. Her original post may have been intended to evoke empathy or sympathy for her. But you jumped in essentially saying, "Well if you look at this intellectually instead......you'll see that you're not accurate." Sometimes when you need a hug, getting a book about why hugs aren't necessary just doesn't cut it.

 

It's absurd. Like a lot of things in this world at the moment.

 

Womansplaining hasn't entered the lexicon because it hasn't been identified as a real problem by the other gender (men) Mansplaining is strictly man to women. At this point in time, the generalization you are referring to would be labeled as bitching, nagging, complaining, emasculating, "being overly sensitive" etc. Also, and I think the big one here, is that the 'splaining is coming out of the desire to inform rather than debate. Like @Strength And Light said, sometimes your input is unnecessary. Going back to the astronaut example, the woman just wanted to share a cool fact with people. The guy really didn't need to say anything.

 

I think this would fall into #1. She learned she was wrong through her own experience and was surprised by this. You, in essence, commented that of course she was wrong because you can never find something everywhere (of course you can't find something everywhere --except the presence of God, Hallelujah!) and just in case she really didn't get this, you backed up this obvious statement with your own evidence. She wasn't posing the question whether you can find something everywhere, she was just sharing her surprise. Better responses would have been "Why did you think blah blah"? "I could see/Makes sense why someone/you would think blah blah isn't accepted, I haven't seen blah blah at blank," if your only motive was to continue the conversation

Hope this helps! Better luck next time!

 

And this is why I avoid discussing things like gender, sociology, science, politics with most people these days. Not worth the hassle so I prefer neutral topics like traveling, sports, cars, whatever. Frankly I'm not interested in politics or most of these topics at all really, it's all toxic/negative and offensive to me. Ok, I do dig some sciences like astronomy, biology and chemistry. Men usually don't complain as they're more able to let it go. I've been offended by many people, including women, yet I've come to the conclusion it's not worth it.

I'm more of a person that just wants to enjoy life and not preach at people. But I also dislike being preached at and I will not be shamed for what some jerk did or being told how to pee like they do in Germany or Sweden. It seems like these days society expects us to get offended or to offend and wants to replace the old stereotypes with new ones. Not gonna play that game, it's too taxing for my laissez-faire disposition. For this reason once I get my master's diploma I'll never go back to academia where Western people with more privileges by being born in the West preach to me.

I think OP should've ignored the posts of that woman. Most women even wouldn't take banter like "No shit, Sherlock" lightly. They're so easily offended that it's better to avoid discussing such issues with them. You bruised her self-worth so now she cannot feel special or something. Next time roll your eyes and don't reply. Let her have her minutes of feeling special. Btw I'm an ex (male) feminist. I'm all for equality but most people calling themselves that are really weird. They wanted to ban urinals in male toilets in the name of equality in some Germanic speaking countries. And man spreading? What about women taking all the seats around them with their bags? Come on now, these are not the main issues women have to deal with. I don't see how the way I pee is the business of any woman I don't live with. I'd rather have urinals than having to wipe someone's pee in order to do #2 in stall-only restrooms. Stalls should be just for #2 or both in male toilets, not #1.

It's good feminists want to remove the unequal gender ratio in STEM degrees. However everyone ignores the feminization of Social Sciences and Arts, much more female students. Apart from this thought I've yet to see an angry feminazi in real life. Must be a North American, AngloSaxon or Scandinavian thing.

 

I love the fact, that in all your possible scenarios the woman is never, possibly, at fault.

 

1. Off this is my subjective view out of the many experiences I have had with the subject.
2. I am 'triggered' by people that get 'triggered'.

Feminism isn't for equality it's a women's rights movement.
There is a own term for people who seek equality. It's called 'Egalitarianism' and people who seek equality are called 'Egalitarian'

It's a fact to most often 'feminists' are the most sexist people off all. They use the past of the female gender, which has never really had anything to do with them, to discriminate against men.
Look at the word 'mansplaining' It's a derogatory word that includes the word 'man'. Meaning the male gender.
Meaning that feminist who talked to you is in fact a hypocrite and a sexist. Possibly a misandrist.

You shouldn't be a feminist, really. And in fact not even 20% of people in UK and USA define themselves as feminist.
Because it has become a tasteless, hateful and toxic fad.

Ever heard of 'free the nipples'? It's an american movement where women run around top-free in public showing their secondary genitals even to little children which most often are very disturbed by it.

Or 'free bleeding' where feminists don't use hygiene articles when they are on their period because it's 'empowering' and 'freeing'.

3rd wave feminism is mostly, only concerned with themselves. Most often they are selfish, entitled upper-middle-class women.
They do nothing for women who really suffer in 3 world countries. And then they are cheeky enough to say we need feminism because the women in these countries suffer.

Feminism equals sexism in my eyes. Of course there are people/feminists who really only mean good and try their best.

But feminism as a whole movement is a reception camp for social dropouts, psychos and manhaters.

I understand that you may feel guilty for viewing women in a wrong light due to PMO. But feminism is not the way to redeem yourself. Feminism only spreads the hate.
And every independent, strong woman I know doesn't call herself a feminist. Because the movement is full of bullshit and hypocrisy.
And all 'good' feminists, after some time, realize this and leave the movement.

PS: I just read that you don't want answers from a non-feminist. Sorry too late lol.

 

I like your attitude on this. Yeah, it's better to just ingore and cut out negative and toxic stuff from your life. But at some point you still gotta defend yourself because silence is also a form of consent.

 

An interesting thing I notice is that in real life the same male-bashing writers, psychologists et al feminazis always prefer confident guys. So they claim they want nice, sensitive (actually effeminate) guys but they don't practice what they preach. They're abusive and bully nice guys. I know from experience that on NoFap suddenly I get smiles back and stares. But when I wank and I feel less masculine and asexual they suddenly ignore me or instantly dislike me. Women secretly hate effemininity in males, no matter the MSM crap articles they post. Ying will always need Yang. Just look at the way women treat weak/effeminate/"nice guys" - like doormats and scum. Oh and notice how most menspreading pictures are usually of non attractive guys. I bet it's OK if a male model does it. I'm 8 out of 10 according to people on the internet so I've never been called out for spreading. But I do get treated like scum if I show anything remotely weak or feminine. So they do prefer the Yang male energy but they're too proud to say they want to be protected.

 

Weeeeeeeeell, mansplaining is something undesirable for women, happens TO women, and is what the topic is about, so I don't know where you're going with this. If you are saying sometimes women deserve to be mansplained to, I'm going to stop you right there. No mansplaining doesn't need to happen, ever. Let's say womansplaining becomes a thing, are you gonna be like, "Yeah, bro, she definitely needed to womensplain that to you"

 

Womansplaining IS a thing. Look at 90% of couples, movies, advertising, the office places, schools. And "dear men" articles with finger pointing. Also it's funny how women think they know how men feel and think, yet when a guy says something about women "you cannot relate". Well many females say females are in general more likely to be catty and dramatic and I agree with them after having so many female friendhips before. I've never had so much drama and negativity in my normal (same gender) friendhips. Of course all of those platonic relationships disappeared. Male/female friendhips are poison for men. Yet, women think they're entitled to platonic male friends. Men don't owe you friendhip you know.

There only two women I could be something like a friend to - my mom and my prospective GF/wife. Others are a waste of time really.

Of course I don't explain anything with women as frankly I believe as a male we don't have many common interests with most females anyway except being sexually or/and romantically close to each other. And of course mom is mom, so I can share my opinions and feelings with her, but all the others are useless weight. I don't need any catty, dramatic and negative people in my life and sadly most platonic female friends are like that to their male friends. Only one was really nice.

Yes, I know some women dig cars, sports, gyms, etc. but it's not the same connection as with a guy friend. And it's very rare anyway, I'm fed up with the things women talk about. At leats with a GF you can talk about your future plans, affections and love for each other. Not the same with a platonic female friend. I can never be in a platonic friendhips with females, the drama is not worth the investment and the lack of intimacy and having to always watch for their oh so easily hurt feelings is terrible. Not to mention the purse-holding, the male-shaming, etc.

 

No womansplaining doesn't exist because, again, society hasn't decided (as of yet) that it does. If you want to begin that movement, feel free. Menism is a thing, after all. Not much traction, but it's there.

The "you don't understand thing" was more towards vaginas, pregnancy, that sort of thing. Unless you're a doctor or another woman, don't talk about how my period is affecting me or men's pain tolerance. We want solidarity, not "well I think..." didn't ask you and you literally have not experienced it.

 

Yet women always voice their opinions on masculinity, testosterone, the penis etc. like they know what it is. And even want to ban urinals in men's toilets haha.

Female teachers would always look down on me for daring to get good grades. Not only that but when a girl copied my answers she got a higher mark. Just because of having a vag.


College was worse with constant talk about gender. Academia fields are poisonous and toxic. We go there to study, not get into politics (well most of us anyway, I know there are programs where a Feminism course would make sense).

Female lecturers always would explain obvious things to me like I'm a dunce. For this reason I dislike career women and prefer those into the domestic domain. Studying in a Dutch university is close to Nazi-like propaganda. And in the Netherlands women push me and bump into me on purpose raping my personal space. It's really funny how Dutch guys are following their female masters around. I get masculine vibes from the majority of women here and feminine from most of the guys (must be all that milk). Meanwhile in France things seem more equal, without compromising masculinity and traditional femininity. No one needs the Scandinavian, Dutch, Germanic and Anglo-Saxon kind of feminism. I'm thinking of blocking all news websites in English btw. France is what truer equality looks like. It's not perfect, but better.