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Need some advice, please!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by J679, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Jan 7, 2019 #1
    J679

    J679 Fapstronaut

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    Hello all!

    Long story short, I have linked my current issues to PIED and potential death grip as I struggle with sensation. I have not watched P for the past 30 days and have not "done the deed" myself for the past 30 either. Here’s why.

    Currently dating an amazing woman, who I have recently opened up to about PIED and the issues I feel I have. We have had sex a couple of times, and both been able to finish. However other times, I have not been able to maintain or get excited. She has been very supportive and says it isn’t an issue. But every time it happens, it makes me feel awful and unworthy. I have 0 urges or will to ever watch P again, even after 30 days.

    My question: would you suggest that I continue trying to have sex, even if it doesn’t work out? Is it healthy to do? Or is it better to completely not have it for a while? I feel I am starting to respond ever so slightly more to touch and stimulation with her. If I touch her anywhere and we kiss, things start happening.. but not fully or anywhere near enough to have sex sometimes. What are your thoughts here please? Would love some advice/thoughts from anybody that has been in the same situation.

    Much appreciated! :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
    J679, Jan 7, 2019
    J679, Jan 7, 2019
    #1
  2. Jan 7, 2019 #2
    Newlifemotivation 1

    Newlifemotivation 1 New Fapstronaut

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    Excess of every thing is bad u should try to prevent sex because otherwise u will get addicted to sex and u will roam here and there for girls to have sex
     
    Newlifemotivation 1, Jan 7, 2019
    Newlifemotivation 1, Jan 7, 2019
    #2
  3. Jan 10, 2019 #3
    Crash_G

    Crash_G New Fapstronaut

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    I think its just a a matter of time man. Definitely continue trying to have sex, its important to be more used to having sex that to masturbating. Your body needs time to be more "in sync" with having sex instead of watching porn. I myself have been having sex lately not been able to maintain or get excited. Its very weird, I do want to and feel it. But it probably has to be PIED, or at least part of of it (being drunk also makes it more difficult of course). So just keep it going! A let us know how it goes in the future!
     
    Crash_G, Jan 10, 2019
    Crash_G, Jan 10, 2019
    #3
  4. Jan 11, 2019 #4
    J679

    J679 Fapstronaut

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    It’s difficult. I WANT to have sex with my girlfriend, but nothing happens down there at all and I think I’m in a flatline. Very frustrating and can be difficult to deal with. I guess that’s just my body attempting to get used to real touch and real situations as opposed to P. All in time.. I hope.
     
    J679, Jan 11, 2019
    J679, Jan 11, 2019
    #4
  5. Jan 14, 2019 #5
    Crash_G

    Crash_G New Fapstronaut

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    Yeah maybe its the flatline. It aslo makes sense in your situation, since it has been about 5 weeks. But if the urge to have sex with your girlfriend is there, than I'm not sure if really is "flatining". Cause on the site is says flatline is about having zero libido, or zero sex drive ; but you WANT to have sex with your gf. So the sex drive DOES seem to be there. But maybe no getting a boner is part of not-having a libido.
    Whatever it is, I think the best advice is to be found right here on the regular NoFap website. This is what they say about flatline: "If you experience flatline, don’t panic! It may last for several weeks, but it will more than likely go away eventually. If it does not go away after rebooting, talk to your doctor."

    So the hard truth for us both, is indeed to just wait. I have faith though, this is such a huge step in the right direction, don't forget that! I hope I aslo get to quit porn for over 30 days, right now I'm looking up to you man!
     
    Crash_G, Jan 14, 2019
    Crash_G, Jan 14, 2019
    #5
  6. Jan 16, 2019 #6
    J679

    J679 Fapstronaut

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    So, an update. Over the weekend just gone, my sex drive went through the roof, spent the entire weekend at my girlfriends place and needless to say, we were a little busy. Previously struggled with PIED (I think now it is more mental for me) but that wasn’t an issue at all. Wasn’t at 100%, maybe 70%, but we were both pretty happy at the progress. There is indeed light at the end of the tunnel it seems. P free since December so roughly 45-50 days, but have had sex with my girlfriend whenever possible so not on hard mode. Unsure if I’m back in flatline as I couldn’t feel anything down there yesterday, but time will tell. There’s hope for us all, while I am in no way fixed, it’s at least some progress - I thought I would never get rid of this.
     
    J679, Jan 16, 2019
    J679, Jan 16, 2019
    #6
    Crash_G likes this.
  7. Jan 21, 2019 #7
    Crash_G

    Crash_G New Fapstronaut

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    That's great my dude! I reset after 8 days or something, I just wanted to be sure I really had an unhealthy relationship with P. They also said to try this on the site, "so you can see for yourself if you're addcited or not". And while it was easy to keep up for 8 days, getting back in the reboot is a lot harder. So I'm gonna try to follow in your footsteps, which will take time, but you have surely motivated me. We both know now that going on a reboot is for the better.

    Again, very glad there is progress for you!
     
    Crash_G, Jan 21, 2019
    Crash_G, Jan 21, 2019
    #7

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