Need some advice messed up bad... I’m sad

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by seagulls6878, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. Hope everyone is well. I messed up big time yesterday guys. I was on day 27 of hard mode. Lately I’ve been glancing at porn and looking at escorts. Yesterday I was high off my pre workout from the gym and I called an escort and met her. I spent $800 for 2 hours and had to leave cause I could not cum. I have pied and took a male enhancement pill. After this I went home and felt super shitty cause I relapsed and gave into temptation but I also wasted $800. I just masturbated a few minutes ago as the urge has been strong all day. It hurt really bad I don’t know why . I have just set my clock back to day 1 again. God I feel terrible , feel like I wanna die. I feel powerless in my sex addiction. I mean I get paid again Tuesday that’s why I did it I told myself your gonna get paid again Tuesday just do it , you make decent money . Feel like there’s no end in sight , I’m a fiend and I don’t know what to do just real miserable.
     
  2. ApprenticeInWar

    ApprenticeInWar Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, stand up! Frankly, I don't know much about escorts, but I do know something about relapsing: it's extremely frustrating (the longer the streak the worse), but it's not the end. Get up, learn from your mistakes, and avoid them next time.

    Do not trick yourself into looking at porn. At first, you might think everything's under control, but it eventually builds up and you're lost.

    There will be tomorrow. Don't think of months, just think of tomorrow, okay? One day at a time.

    Keep your shield up! Remember that you're not alone on this path.
     
    seagulls6878 likes this.
  3. jlsl16

    jlsl16 Fapstronaut

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    hey bro, dont worry i have not been with a escort but i do know what is doing sex and not coming. i am really not an expert just experiences but i believe that if you dont have like a feeling of love with someone or like something that you really like from the other it is very difficult to cum and enjoy, and more difficult after all the porn that we have in our mind that we try to overcome. so i know is not easy but i really recommend you to find someone that you really like it and just try and try until it works, believe me it is very nice when you have a real feeling for the other person, and the best of having someone of trust is that if it did not work once there will be more times. and keep fighting that streak !! and dont see porn it is the worse triggered. good luck and sorry for my English it is not my native language
     
    seagulls6878 likes this.
  4. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    How can you say were on 27 days of hard mode if you have been looking at porn and escorts?

    And you spent $800 on a sex worker when you know you have erectile dysfunction. You must be mad! o_O

    You probably should have rest your counter to zero several times over the last four weeks. Stop fooling yourself man!
     
  5. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    It is normal. You will relapse before full recovery. I think you should try to understand your relapse - when it started, what were the most important factors, how can you improve your behavior or routine to avoid it in the future?
     
    Nugget9 and seagulls6878 like this.
  6. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I just got upset like I always do and said fuck it ... pitty party and all that . I prob need to delete Facebook as it shows eveyone in a more positive light
     
  7. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I have had problems with porn, escorts, dominatrixes etc.

    Porn is not as bad as escorts, but porn is really bad for you.

    You have to give up escorts first. Because with an escort you end up getting a really fucked up view of women. These women hate men, but pretend to like men to get money.

    You just have to wake up and see everything for what it is, then your temptations will be much less and will decrease over time.

    I know what is like when it is bad. You have only one thought in your mind, you feel the anticipation and feel horny and you mind blocks out all other options and rationalises everything.

    Then you feel you are doing the right thing and you do it. Then you realise the mistake.

    Don’t get caught into this cycle. Avoid it at all costs.

    It ruined my entire life.
     
  8. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yeah u know the feeling of overspending on sex and then kicking yourself that it wasn’t worth it.

    Happened to me 4 years ago, was at the strip club in Chile and two girls started talking to me. When I first started going to strip clubs I liked the attention so much I couldn’t say no.
    That night they milked me.

    700 bucks and there was NO sex.
    I mean just hanging out.

    I went home and called my credit card company and pretended it was fraud I was so embarrassed.

    My wife was sure I’d slept with a hooker and I told her... the truth is stupider than fiction.

    I WISH for that much money I had come all over the place. But nope. And thank god I have largely stayed out and away from strip clubs like that again. I’ve gone and had a drink and rejected all the girls who wanna get with me until I feel good, then I am out.

    You can do it bro.
     
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