need new sex life

hello,
I decided to join the forum for some support with meeting certain personal goals of mine. Masturbation has often been a means of escape during stressful times in my life when I didn't have a partner around to have sex with. I'm a 27 year old straight woman with a history of commitment and relationship problems. I've never had a serious long term healthy relationship. Just a slew of sexual partners at a given time during my 6 years of an active sex life.
My sex drive is high because of constant stimulation through intercourse or masturbation. Often what happens is I grow weary of empty sexual encounters with men and resort to masturbation to satisfy my urges. Then I get bored of masturbation after 3 or 4 good orgasms and resort to watching porn in order to help excite me a bit more. After a few tries at this I am left utterly dissatisfied and have on occasion sought out alcohol induced casual sex with strangers only to wake up hating myself the next day. I swear off sex for a while until I start feeling cagey at which point the cycle of masturbation begins again.
It's become obvious to me that it is necessary for me to grow out of these adolescent tendencies. I want to cultivate a healthier sex life where I don't rely on porn or casual sex for fulfillment. Joining this forum is the first step toward a life of directing my desires and manifesting a self-authored purpose that is greater than repeating childish sexual patterns that hamper my emotional and psychological growth.
My hope is that by not masturbating and watching porn my ability to cope with not being with someone will improve. I feel that meeting this goal will help me to master my sexuality and channel my efforts more staunchly into productive pursuits which will make me a happier person. I am not actively seeking a relationship because I feel I have a certain amount of work to do on myself before I can be available to someone in that way but I am searching for friends. I am notorious for my inability to keep male friends because there's always weird tension and I either give into it or become completely indifferent to the poor guy as a result. I'd like for this to change as well especially now that I've moved to a new town and am looking to start over.
I've never really participated in a forum before so I hope this intro is satisfactory. Thanks for reading.

 

Hello,
Thank you for the warm welcome and suggestions.
What I meant by giving in is that I can sense when a male "friend" is sexually attracted and if I get curious enough I might give him the green light and throw away the possibility of building a real friendship.

 

Thank you so much for your support. I'm really encouraged by the responses I've received. This feels like a great place to build community and grow.

 

What a moving response! I feel so welcomed and encouraged by your words. Thank you!

I wish you goodwill on your journey as well