NEED HELP

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by DonLez95, Mar 1, 2019.

  1. DonLez95

    DonLez95 Fapstronaut

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    Hi long story short i am addicted to ts porn and ts escorts and fapping since 12yo

    I am currently on my 31st day and thats the longest i ever went without relapsing yet but when i thought i was doing well and these urges and fantasies fade away last 2 or 3 days were extremly hard and ive nearly relapsed yesterday just managed to stop myself after texting 4 or 5 local ts escorts and seeing couple of ads ive blocked all numbers and deleted them of my phone

    But yeah ive had very bad urges its like my head just tries to find any possible way to seek out this stuff

    If i look at this situation from 3rd party view its like my brain switched off completly ive lost control of my self but just just managed to stop myself it was very very hard i dont know what is it going to be like during later stages of nofap cos ive never went past 30days

    My question is will i still get these bad urges or when is all of this going to stop?

    I still feel really dissapointed in myself for yesterday but hey no one said its going to be easy

    All support, advice is more than welcome I really need support from you guys who made it to at least 90 days
     
  2. Committed to One

    Committed to One Fapstronaut

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    Hey there, kudos for grabbing the e-brake and hanging in there.
    That's actually what is happening. Our addiction lives in a part of our brain that can literally override our cognitive reasoning. When we give it free reign it'll win every time. It's in our moments of sanity that we have to make the decision not to go there. You're doing great! It took me 40 years to figure out how to go more than about 7 days and I only did that once or twice. I guess it was after I passed 30 or so days that I started to realize that I actually wouldn't die if I didn't have an orgasm. Yes there were days along the way it felt like I would, but I started to value my sobriety more than the brief high that acting out would give.
    Cold showers work. Like seriously chill the boys into full retreat. After a few minutes of that you'll actually feel your mind clear and be able to get on with your day.
    You are taking a huge step and giving yourself a gift that will change your life for good in so many ways. You can decide that you're done with this stuff for good. Make a plan in advance of what steps your going to take if you're getting tempted and follow the plan. Keep it at and yes it will get easier but stay aware that this addiction doesn't die easy and will come at you like a freight train even after a long streak. Choose now how you will respond to that. Good job my friend.
     
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  3. RecoveryOn

    RecoveryOn Fapstronaut

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    The habit is really strong when were alone in our room's fella's.. cus our incontinence mind is trained so well on that activity its basically who we are,its a part of our identity... so thats why its so hard to stop.. especially when it has this "gambling feeling " because you tell yourself "i dont have to go on this site anymore but what if i find a girl whos very kinky i might hit a jackpot today or im missing out if i dont go on it..." Its very tempting.. especially when your by yourself and have nothing else to do ! The brain will find ways to trick you and tell you its "ok" you can do it just once "and then we stop" and then cycle repeat itself.. You have to have the willpower not to do it when the urge comes! But its not only about willpower, thats only a matter of time before you slip" just this once"
    So what we need to do during recovery is to make ourselves so busy we don't have time to think about that.. go out in the morning and go home by night. That i think will be the most effective way. And when you're home and have free time do whatever you can to be with friends or parents or talk on the phone with someone, it will keep you distracted!

    Best of luck on recovery!
     
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  4. DonLez95

    DonLez95 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice

    Yeah ive realised over the time that the brain will try to find the tiniest ways to make it ok to watch porn and what ever you used to do. Its sometimes very hard to resist but i am determined to change my life which has surely more to offer than this disgusting shit.
     
  5. DonLez95

    DonLez95 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply

    So have you ever made it to 90 days?

    Im wondering how im going to feel then what the urges will be like and also how can i battle the fantasizing because i find myself doing it even when im busy at work
     
  6. Committed to One

    Committed to One Fapstronaut

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    yeah I'm over 130 days at this point for PM. I'm older and married so it's a bit of a different situation. Did the hard mode thing for a couple months and the urges mellowed out after a month but not completely. You're a young healthy guy full of testosterone so to expect that you will be free of urges to release is not realistic.
    It is reasonable to expect that your desires will change and normalize as you abstain from fantasizing and acting out in ways that don't align with who you want to be. @RecoveryOn made a good point that you need to keep healthy thoughts and behaviors at the forfront and not allow for a bunch of idle time or daydreaming. We rarely win the battle laying in bed or clicking around on the internet or perusing ads for escorts. The term "cool your jets" isn't a metaphor. Seriously, put the boys on ice if you need too. Go after this like your life depends on it. It kinda does.
     
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  7. DonLez95

    DonLez95 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your reply

    So is the fantasizing/daydreaming about porn and acting out have same effect as if i was watching it?

    Because everyother day i find myself doing it and sometimes i just cant and just let myself carry on fantasizing and after that i get urges
     

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